Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008)

"Star Wars: The Clone Wars" is not as bad as I thought it would be, having read countless shattering reviews on this umpteenth film in George Lucas' endless universe. It's just a mere dud, rather than a full disaster. This is surprising as Lucas finally has what he's always wanted after 30 years of making the same movie over and over: No actors to muck things up.

This relatively short (90 minutes) chapter is fully animated (with dull voice talent) and appears to take place sometime during or near the events of "Star Wars: Episode II: Attack of the Clones." Here, Anakin Skywalker -- the future Darth Vadar -- and Obi-Wan Kenobi battle to save the kidnapped son of Jabba the Hut from the future Empire. It's a straight forward plot for a children's film, with some really slick action scenes and space battles that rekindle memories of the series' best moments.

Too bad the animation makes nearly every human or creature into a flat-as-sheetrock being less engaging than the purposefully bad animation in, say, "South Park." Mouth movements are awkward, eyes lack any spark of actual life, and Jabba the Hut is strangely geometric rather than slithering and slimy. Oh, and Anakin is referred to as "Sky Guy" throughout. Why I can't say. An added negative: If anyone thought Jar Jar Binks was an offensive portrayal of African-Americans in the recent "new" trilogy, they ought to see Jabba's nightclub-owning uncle. It is the meanest caricature of homosexuality since the "Police Academy" films ruled the box office. Fanboy students at Bob Jones and Liberty universities, and Klan members, will surely like it. All else will shudder.

Lucas, who truly ought to find a new hobby, executive produces here, having handed the directing reigns to Dave Filoni. The switch off helps marginally. Please, George, retire already! Oh, this is all to be a TV series, which probably will be worse. C-