Thursday, December 30, 2010

True Grit (2010)

I’ve yet to see John Wayne‘s “True Grit.” If I saw it as a child, I have no memory of The Duke playing one-eyed alcoholic U.S. Marshal Rueben “Rooster” J. Coburn, who is hired as a bounty hunter by a 14-year-old to capture her father’s killer. Joel and Ethan Coen are behind this re-adaptation of Charles Portis’ book, and in mostly serious “No Country for Old Men” mode. This western isn’t as bloody violent or brilliant as the 2007 gem, it’s missing a mad anything-can-happen spark, but “Grit” is wildly entertaining. Jeff Bridges (“The Big Lebowski”) plays Coburn, and brilliantly so. Coburn is old and cantankerous. His brain drowned long ago in whiskey, so his speech is slurred and his motor skills awkward. These traits are hilarious and sad. This is more concerned about play of words, language and character than plot, and the Coens rock the proceedings. As the teen employer, Hailee Steinfeld is amazing, forceful and blunt. She not only gets the better of Coburn, but Bridges. Even Matt Damon, as a Texas Ranger, can’t match this teen. Give Steinfeld an Oscar. A-

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Tron (1982) and Tron: Legacy (2010)

“Tron: Legacy” must be one of the longest-planned sequels in film history. It was 28 years ago that the legendary and infamous “Tron” -- the CGI-before-there-was-CGI Walt Disney thriller about computer malware run amok and a hacker hero, set inside a computer -– crashed at the box office. I saw it then, at age eight. I recall being enthralled and absolutely confused, my little noodle baked to a crisp. I went into “Tron: Legacy” with only faint memories from 1982, and re-watched the original a few days later. Here are my takes:

“Tron” has an eternal place in geek culture, it’s a thriller with a mind-warping zinger plot that still impresses. The gist: Jeff Bridges is Kevin Flynn, a young computer programmer booted out of monster corporation ENCOM. He is a hacker, living above the game arcade he runs in an on old L.A. neighborhood. When he’s not attacking ENCOM by computer, he might be sleeping with the girls who dig his joystick skills. (And this is Disney!) At ENCOM’s HQ, perennial villain David Warner is an evil suit who stole Flynn’s work, and yet is slave to Master Control Program, a HAL-like supercomputer bent on world domination as a computer game.

In a nifty bit of “Got you!,” Master Control zaps Flynn into its inner-computer world. There, byte-sized Flynn must battle for his life in a 1s and 0s version of “Spartacus,” with gladiator-style fights. He has a friend, Tron -– an anti-malware computer program warrior. That’s Bruce Boxleitner, who’s also a disgruntled ENCOM programmer and current lover to Flynn’s ex (Cindy Morgan) in the real world.

The special effects are terrible for today’s eyes, and the costumes may never have looked good -– they seem not much more than magic-marker drawings on cardboard attached to bicycle helmets. Some of the action gets fuzzy, and floating roofing staples (computer bracket marks?) are too goofy for words. But the film is damn smart, tech-wise. It foresaw avatars and “Avatar,” and computer warfare, and hackers commanding massive computer networks – taking down a company or country with the click of a mouse. It’s the father of “The Matrix.” When the heroes take up light cycles, the film rocks. The colors pop. I felt eight again.

All respect is due to director/creator Steven Lisberger. He may have been snickered at in 1982, the year of beloved sci-fi classics “E.T.” and “Blade Runner,” but now … “Told you so” is the phrase. B+

Which brings us to “Tron: Legacy,” which follows Kevin Flynn’s grown son Sam (Garrett Hedlund), a hacker who lives in an old warehouse by the river. Hey, it’s no van. Dad is missing, plucked away in 1989 by unknown circumstances. Mom (Morgan in photos) is dead. After busting the balls of ENCOM – now corporately evil again -- Sam is visited by Alan (Boxleitner), the programmer who created and on the grid was Spybot-like hero Tron. Alan sends Sam to Flynn’s old arcade, apparently dormant for three decades, but still cranking along with electricity. (Funny that, huh?)

As with his father, Sam is blasted by a laser into a computer world grid, an updated but dead-cold version of the inner programming that marked the 1982 film. Much is the same: Light cycles and flying roofing staples, gladiator games ala “Spartacus,” with kidnapped programs byting the dust. Of course, everything looks better, faster. (The special effects truly are amazing.) And, as any preview told you, dad is there. Kevin Flynn (Bridges again) is older, heavier and resigned to exile in a virtual Recycle Bin.

This universe is ruled by Clu, the avatar of the older Flynn briefly seen in “Tron.” Clu is un-aged, and power mad. He’s Master Control Program in the (sort of) flesh. Naturally, Sam has to rile dad into fighting himself. Sam has help: A warrior played by Olivia Wilde, who – in a shockingly sexist bit – describes herself as a “rescue.” A rescue what, dear? Cat? Dog?

That line is just a bit of the problems, aside from a blueprint rip-off of the first film’s plot. Tron appears in the briefest of flashbacks, and then as Clu’s enforcer, but always masked. For a film called “Tron: Legacy,” there isn’t much in the way of Tron. Talk about a rip-off. I think the phrase is “WTF?” Still, first-time director Joseph Kosinski hits home runs with the action, and the use of 2D in the “real-world” and 3D in the grid. The trick recalls “The Wizard of Oz,” and shows that 3D is not a marketing gimmick.

In a second instance of WTF, Michael Sheen has a cameo that is brilliant and yet painfully clichéd. He plays a mob-connected androgynous nightclub owner who may be the child of Frank-N-Furter and Ziggy Stardust. On the bright side: In the club are two DJs – played by the guys who provide the film’s score. Daft Punk is the duo’s name. Damn if it isn’t spectacular, and outpaces the film its supposed to support.

Bridges is awesome as always, even if his young Clu seems too CGI’d for any good. Or bad, as the plot dictates. When Clu opens his mouth, the character looks all plasticy. The eyes seem vacant. David Warner’s triple-villain from “Tron” was far more effective, even if he was a low-rent Darth Vadar. With no mask. Boxleitner, by the way, must be loved by God. Or a plastic surgeon. Dude looks good.

“Tron” is absolutely worth re-visiting. But all that planning and hundreds of millions of dollars in production for a sequel, I’m left wanting. Lisberger was ahead of the curve by a decade. Kosinski and his team are looking in the rear-view mirror. For a film with “Legacy” in the title, there isn’t much to be seen. B-

Cronos (1993)

Guillermo del Toro’s debut “Cronos” is a dark beauty: A vampire tale about a grandpa-granddaughter love straight from “Heidi,” but this old man licks snotty blood off bathroom floors and the girl can swing a skull-smashing club. This is nasty violent and funny as hell, a precursor to del Toro’s later genius work. We start in 1590s Spain as a watchmaker produces a device that gives eternal life, in all its eternal damnation. We jump to present day as an antiques seller (Federico Luppi) finds the mechanism – a gold-plated, egg-shaped spider -- inside a sculpture. The device turns the old man into Dracula, and freaks out young Aurora (Tamara Shanath). Meanwhile, a dapper thug (Ron Perlman of del Toro’s “Hellboy”) is hunting the device for his Howard Hughes-like uncle. Del Toro provides sick-minded visuals: Grandpa rips embalmer’s stitches from his mouth, and wears a taped-on suit backward. There are mind-blowing punches at religion: Risen grandpa –- full of wounds -– repeatedly declares his name, “I am Jesus. Jesus Gris!” Even the dialogue bleeds. A

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Old Dogs (2009)

Billed as a family comedy, “Old Dogs” is offensively bad. No shocker, as it’s from Walt Becker, the guy responsible for “Wild Hogs.” That film starred John Travolta, who mugs here like a fool who long ago forgot “Pulp Fiction.” J.T. is co-partner of a NYC-based sports marketing firm co-run by life-long chum Robin Williams. The plot gets going when Williams’ tight-ass dweeb learns he fathered twins he never previously met. Nevermind that Wiliams' dip doesn't even ask for proof. He just bends. The mom is played by Kelly Preston, wife of Travolta. One of the twin brats is a Travolta. No wonder J.T. is all smiles. The film’s comedy relies on smashed, electrocuted and penguin-bitten balls, gay accusations, and rape-by-gorilla, and demeans fathers, homosexuals, the elderly, Japanese culture, and anyone with dark skin. Worse than the comedy is the lame swipe at emotional connections, with Williams looking pained. A full disaster, and sadly Bernie Mac's last film. F

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Inside Job (2010)

Imagine you purchased a dishwasher from me. Later, after the dishwasher has shattered your dishes and torched the house, you learn that I knowing sold you a faulty dishwasher. And not only that, but I and my friends wagered and made money off the likelihood that the dishwasher would fail. You also learn I paid reviewers to praise the machine’s merits. Want to buy an oven from me? That’s “Inside Job,” a face slap to the U.S. financial system and how “too big to fail” banks and mortgage firms played with trillions of dollars as if it were “Monopoly” game night. It starts off with a rockin’ Peter Gabriel tune and ends in a seething fit. Director Charles Ferguson berates Dems and GOP’ers alike, shows talking heads wise and unrepentant, and uses news footage – ratings firms CEOs insisting that their opinions are not meant to be taken seriously – so outrageous, one can only laugh. This is about over-privileged men who, not unlike teenagers, insist they require no curfew and then never return home. “Job” is cold and calculating, as are all great heist films. A

Sunday, December 12, 2010

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (2010)

“The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader” is No. 3 in the seven-book series by Christian writer C.S. Lewis. I only read Book 1, “The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.” So, I shall not judge Mr. Lewis. I do know “Prince Caspian” was cinema dullness except for a cameo by Tilda Swinton, who rocked the first film as the temptress White Witch. She returns here for mere seconds as menacing smoke. (Also absent: Every actor of any merit.) “Treader” gives us the same plot as before at half-pace as two of the four Pevensie siblings (Georgie Henley and Skandar Kynes) are again zapped from war-torn England to Narnia for swashbuckling action on an old ship. The youngsters’ mission here involves a mysterious island and a smoke monster absolutely not meant to invoke “LOST,” but rather sin itself. “Dawn” smartly plays at the young audience Lewis was going after. It’s goofy fun and better than the recent “Harry Potter” dose of moodiness. Lessons of morality abound. There is a “Ghostbusters” reference so hilarious, it can’t be unintentional. B

Saturday, December 4, 2010

The Warrior’s Way (2010)

Samurai warrior/cowboy mash-up “The Warrior’s Way” swings wide. Its goals are high: The grandeur and grit of classic 1960s epics by Sergio Leone and Akira Kurosawa, the mystical vision of “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon,” and the violent, other-worldly feel of “300.” Plus slapstick comedy ala Looney Tunes. It fails on every level. “Warrior” is uncomfortably, offensively bad.

Here, a lone samurai warrior (Jang Dong Gun, as blank as a paper lunch bag) cuts down his familial enemies, but spares the life an infant girl. For his act of mercy, he is hunted by his own, and flees to Dust Bowl America. There he finds a derelict circus town ruled by outlaws (led by Danny Houston). If you’ve ever flipped past a Clint Eastwood film, you know what’s next. No cliche is left untouched.

There’s a woman, of course, an Annie Oakley orphan played by Kate Bosworth as if she were channeling Jesse from "Toy Story." The town’s mayor is a black midget (Tony Cox) named 8 Ball, who has an “8” stamped on his head. Racist much? Geoffrey Rush gets top billing and sucks up scenery as the town drunk, a former gunman with a broken heart. He gets in a few laughs.

Director Sngmoo Lee demands laughs for his violence. Bosworth’s cowpoke is tied to a bed for gang rape and the camera zooms in on her spread legs. Later, a pistol is held to the infant’s head. Laughing yet? Houston is at the crux of each scene, wearing a “Phantom of the Opera” mask. As for this CGI world, nothing feels remotely real or even ironically significant. This is a first-draft VFX reel in need of help. The fights are eyesore bad, every one. D-

Friday, December 3, 2010

Marmaduke (2010)

If “Garfield: The Movie” is to your movie world what “Apocalypse Now” is to mine, then you’ll still be disappointed by the CGI/live-action treatment of “Marmaduke,” the comic strip about a Great Dane and his family. Perma-stoner Owen Wilson voices the title dog, uprooted from Noname, Kansas, to Orange County, Calif., where he learns to surf. I’ll spare naming the actors who appear on screen. Most of the cast seem embarrassed, although William H. Macy is good as a pompous hippie boss. The CGI work is straight-to-video bad, and the dialogue and plot worse -- the guys who made this children’s flick seem never to have met a child. The film begins and ends with a dog fart, highlights of sorts. Older than 10? Run from this ugly mutt of a commercial flick. D+

Fame (1980 and 2009)

“I’m gonna live for ever. I’m gonna learn how to fly.” Those words are the soul and theme of 1980’s “Fame.” It is the almost-prayer that students at the N.Y. School of the Performing Arts send up as they dance impromptu atop cars and trucks in the busy streets. The reality, though, is harsh: Failure is more likely, or a desperate late-night abortion, or a self-imposed exile worthy of Michael Corleone. The young actors, especially Gene Anthony Ray as a homeless dancer, are amazing. The remake serves up synthetic fluff so square it wouldn’t disturb a single moral at a Family on the Focus meeting. In 2009, there are no open gays at a drama/arts school. Seriously. The young actors are OK, hired more for their magazine cover appeal rather than gritty talent. The teachers (Megan Mullally especially) rule the roost. Both films suffer from a rushed auditions-to-graduation timeline and a myriad of plots that get lost in the kitchen sink pace. 1980: B+ 2009: C-

The Usual Suspects (1995)

“The Usual Suspects” torched my film-freak brain 15 years ago. The smoke lingers. Haven’t seen it? Stop reading. I can’t talk about “Suspects” without spilling the end to this crooked crook’s tale. See, Bryan Singer is director and Christopher McQuarrie is writer, but Kevin Spacey is God here. The other characters and we in the audience are his chess pawns. We open on a cargo ship on fire with bodies everywhere before jumping to one survivor in an ER and another in police custody, getting grilled. Rhetorically. Not literally. We only think Spacey’s sickly conman Roger ‘Verbal’ Kint is spilling to the cops. But Kint is really Keyzer Söze, the devil himself. His whole confession is a mixture of truth and sly lies that can never be unraveled, and I gladly fall for the ruse every time. The ending is obvious now. It’s Kevin fhk’n Spacey. But in 1995, we still lived in a ‘Who is this guy?’ world, and Netscape didn’t help. Having an actor play chess master has never felt so damn good. A