Sunday, March 24, 2013
Spring Breakers (2013)
Harmony
Korine’s purposefully delirious drama/horror/satire “Spring Breakers” is
shocking, but not for any onscreen debauchery, but how bright and shiny, and dull
it is, and how much it strives to be “Girls Gone Wild” meets “Natural Born
Killers.” Circa 1994. The story: Four college girls (led by Disney princesses Vanessa Hudgens and Selena Gomez, plus Ashley Benson and Rachel Korine) head to Florida and plunge into binge drinking, drugs, sex acts, and scooter racing without
helmets. When they land in jail, a redneck drug dealer (James Franco) “saves” and
woos the group with guns, piano skills, and love of “Scarface.” After Gomez as
a Christian named “Faith” (fancy that, eh?) bolts for home, the other
three turn pink-masked gangbanger. Really. Korine spills ironic observations
about youth obsessions with sex, gun culture, and celebrity, and our affinity
to get bored, no matter where or what we are. But he’s working from a sketchy 30-page culture thesis triple spaced to 90, with scenes and sounds (guns!) repeated
without end. Boiled down: Korine’s only real trick is getting two Mickey Mouse
stars to go Mickey and Mallory for faux shock value. To break taboos?
Or filmgoers’ patience? Franco, btw, is madly genius. C+
Labels:
2013,
comedy,
controversial,
crime,
Disney,
drama,
Florida,
girls,
guns,
Harmony Korine,
James Franco,
Mickey Mouse,
Natural Born Killers,
nudity,
satire,
Selena Gomez,
Sex,
Spring Breakers,
Vanessa Hudgens,
women
Friday, March 22, 2013
The Man with the Iron Fists (2012)
When hip-hop
guru RZA (aka Robert Diggs) scored Quentin Tarantino’s “Kill Bill,” he apparently
liked what he saw on set so much he opted to star, write, and direct his own martial
arts entry, “The Man with the Iron Fists.”
Akin to “Bill,” this entry is soaked
in 1970s cinema with yellow-splatter-font credits and lots of blood and wonky
theatrics to make it all retro. RZA is the titular hero, a runaway U.S. slave in
late 1800s China, working as a blacksmith who gets mixed up in a gold theft
involving a clan leader (Byron Mann), a whorehouse madam (Lucy Liu), and a Brit
knife/gunslinger (Russell Crowe), plus 99 other characters I dare not list. Hence
the title, our hero loses his hands but comes back punching.
RZA is high on an admirable
labor-of-love vibe, but “Fists” is fugly and scattershot, with blitzed editing
that ruins every fight scene. There’s no majesty or cool factor to the choreographed
violence, just chopped-up limbs and blood, and almost all CGI on the latter.
Worse, as an actor, RZA confuses lifeless with stoic, and that leaves a massive hero hole in a 95-minute film that feels kitchen-sink garbled and amateurish. D+
Worse, as an actor, RZA confuses lifeless with stoic, and that leaves a massive hero hole in a 95-minute film that feels kitchen-sink garbled and amateurish. D+
Labels:
2012,
action,
CGI,
China,
Lucy Liu,
Man with Iron Fists,
martial arts,
Quentin Tarantino,
Robert Diggs,
Russell Crowe,
RZA,
slavery,
violent
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Deadfall (2012)
“Deadfall” is a snowy thriller more generic than its title. Eric Bana and Olivia Wilde crack the plot open as Alabama sibling thieves gunning for Canada because all criminals adore good ol’ Canada.
Plans go bad. The couple crashes their ride in wintry Michigan, kill a cop, and split ways, but not before bro eyes sis’s ass. She likes it. Ick. Brother kills a Native American, loses a finger, saves a woman and child from a bad dad, and has a shootout with police. Sister hooks up with an Olympic ex-con (Charlie Hunnam) on the run to his parents (Sissy Spacek and Kris Kristofferson) for Thanksgiving.
Stick a pack of monks in a room and they’ll guess how this drama -– from Oscar-winning director Stefan Ruzowitzky (“Counterfeiters”) -– will end: Buckets of blood and trite family confessions over turkey.
Character arcs roam random, but not more than Bana’s accent which starts Forrest Gump goober veers Australian and ends bland American.
Worst crime: Casting Kate Mara (“127 Hours”) as a deputy marginalized as a useless girl dolt by her sexist peers, then writing her character off as a useless girl dolt. Awful. D
Plans go bad. The couple crashes their ride in wintry Michigan, kill a cop, and split ways, but not before bro eyes sis’s ass. She likes it. Ick. Brother kills a Native American, loses a finger, saves a woman and child from a bad dad, and has a shootout with police. Sister hooks up with an Olympic ex-con (Charlie Hunnam) on the run to his parents (Sissy Spacek and Kris Kristofferson) for Thanksgiving.
Stick a pack of monks in a room and they’ll guess how this drama -– from Oscar-winning director Stefan Ruzowitzky (“Counterfeiters”) -– will end: Buckets of blood and trite family confessions over turkey.
Character arcs roam random, but not more than Bana’s accent which starts Forrest Gump goober veers Australian and ends bland American.
Worst crime: Casting Kate Mara (“127 Hours”) as a deputy marginalized as a useless girl dolt by her sexist peers, then writing her character off as a useless girl dolt. Awful. D
Labels:
2012,
awful,
Canada,
Charlie Hunnam,
Deadfall,
drama,
Eric Bana,
family,
Olivia Wilde,
police,
Sissy Spaceck,
snow,
Stefan Ruzowitzky,
thriller,
winter
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Jack the Giant Slayer (2013)
Fairy tales are
always ripe for reinterpretation, and director Bryan Singer (“X-Men”) does that and openly plays with the notion of scrambling legends in “Jack
the Giant Slayer.”
That’s the new film about the beanstalk kid with the piss-poor mom, the cow, and the beans, all busied up with one giant eye (sorry) on “Lord of the Rings” and the Hollywood obsession of turning every adventure story into a war epic.
That’s the new film about the beanstalk kid with the piss-poor mom, the cow, and the beans, all busied up with one giant eye (sorry) on “Lord of the Rings” and the Hollywood obsession of turning every adventure story into a war epic.
Nicholas Holt is Jack, who lives with his uncle and
stupidly trades a horse (changes!) for magic beans which lead him and a
princess (Elanor Tomlinson) to the land of giants. Rescues by Jack abound
because even now the princess still must be helpless. Pfft. P.S. No golden eggs
here.
“Jack” endured a tortuous production and a recent title change, and the
troubles show: The giants are dodgy CGI creatures passable 10 years ago. Ewan
McGregor as a valiant hero is a hoot, and Stanley Tucci as the villain has fun
with bad teeth.
But two game actors and the often witty dialogue can’t keep
this “Giant” from getting cut off at the knees. Also, bless his heart, but I bet
Holt has never even visited a farm. C+
Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning (2012)
“Delirious Lynchian
mind-screw” doesn’t come to the mind when one sits for an action flick (and
fifth in a series) starring Jean Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren, but that
exactly is “Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning,” a skull-smashing, gun-heavy treat.
Director John Hyams (son of Peter) daringly switches-up the concept of the
first (and awful) film about slain U.S. soldiers genetically reengineered as
unstoppable warriors, and plops them right in the U.S. of A., playing on Tea
Party paranoia, government black ops, and “Apocalypse Now” showdowns
with Van Damme as Kurtz, ghoulish in heavy makeup.
The plot follows
a man (Scott Adkins) who awakens from a coma nine months after watching his
family slain by mysterious intruders. Grieved and lost, he obsesses over the
attackers. He’s also hunted by seemingly unkillable men who unexplainably like his own
body can grow back appendages after they are chopped off.
The less you know the better, because it’s a kick of a nightmarish journey with
hidden meanings about NRA kill-or-be-killed addictions so off kilter from this typical
genre, I wanted more. The junk dialogue and headache-inducing strobe-light effects are
easily forgiven. B+
Gosford Park (2001)
Robert Altman’s art-house
hit “Gosford Park” has been high in interest for the past three years thanks to
Brit series “Downton Abbey,” both written by Julian Fellowes and concerning early
20th century England where wealthy, connected families made caste
system upstairs/downstairs a way of home, and of thought.
Here, an aging
benefactor (Michael Gambon) hosts a shooting/dinner party, bringing in family,
friends, and hangers-on from local lands and across the pond in America. After the
feast, a hunt, and other stuff you or I don’t ever do, the old man ends up murdered,
and suspicion abounds.
Among the cast: Kristin Scott Thomas as the wife, Maggie
Smith as an (imagine!) uppity bird, Ryan Philippe and Clive Owen as footmen, Bob
Balaban as a filmmaker, and Helen Mirren as a head house-woman.
“Park” is
purposefully slow as we follow these people in their routines before the murder
pops every one’s bubble. Watching the film now, it’s a cool gift to see
characters and dialogue lifted for “Downton,” and Stephen Fry brings the comedy
as a bumbling detective. But it’s often a check-your-watch sit.
The cast is
marvelous, working for a film master sorely missed. B+
Saturday, March 16, 2013
Rust and Bone (2012)
The moment “Rust and Bone” –- an erotic and harsh French drama from director Jacques Audiard (“The Prophet”) -- lost me: Marion Cotillard, who wowed Americans in “Inception” and is back in her native language, stands triumphantly upon prosthetic legs, holds her arms out Jesus-style, and smiles into the sun as Katy Perry’s “Firework” blares in her memory and our ears. Screech.
Cotillard is Stephanie, a screw-authority, sensual whale trainer whose life is derailed when one of her “pets” chomps off her legs. Seriously. Only in France.
But hold tight. Stephanie is a secondary character to Ali (Matthias Schoenaerts), a single dad fucking and torching his life away, brawling for cash in a fight club. He dotes on his son when not angrily throwing him across a room.
So, yes, Steph and Ali need each other. For redemption, for fuck-buddy sake, because these romances happen in movies, and fellow lost-soul hook-up drama “Silver Linings Playbook” was too happy.
The cast is divine, the pain real-ish, but never serve up Perry in a serious film, and never cast firework Cotillard as a tortured, legless woman whose journey to redemption boils down to coveting a good orgasm. Disappointing. B-
Cotillard is Stephanie, a screw-authority, sensual whale trainer whose life is derailed when one of her “pets” chomps off her legs. Seriously. Only in France.
But hold tight. Stephanie is a secondary character to Ali (Matthias Schoenaerts), a single dad fucking and torching his life away, brawling for cash in a fight club. He dotes on his son when not angrily throwing him across a room.
So, yes, Steph and Ali need each other. For redemption, for fuck-buddy sake, because these romances happen in movies, and fellow lost-soul hook-up drama “Silver Linings Playbook” was too happy.
The cast is divine, the pain real-ish, but never serve up Perry in a serious film, and never cast firework Cotillard as a tortured, legless woman whose journey to redemption boils down to coveting a good orgasm. Disappointing. B-
Labels:
2012,
amputee,
child abuse,
drama,
erotic,
foreign,
French,
Jacques Audiard,
Marion Cotillard,
Matthias Schoenaerts,
Sex,
tragic,
whales
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
A Good Day to Die Hard (2013)
“A Good Day to Die Hard”
is not a “Die Hard” movie. It’s an ugly, tired, dull action flick that regurgitates everything grand from the 1988 classic. It has no soul or point. It's an abomination. A cash grab by tired people who do not care anymore. Five minutes in I hated it. A tired Bruce Willis is “John McClane” -– quotes needed -– who bolts to Moscow to save his grown CIA agent son (Jai Courtney) stuck with a murder rap. The short of it: John and John go Roy Rogers on a pack of
terrorists, one of whom eats carrots. Really. It all ends in Chernobyl in a swimming pool. Not joking. Actually, nothing here is funny. What’s worse: The Tea Party way director John Moore treats all foreigners as stupid trolls, or the way he turns McClane -– long ago scared, bleeding, but
desperate to do right -– into some Stallone blockhead that the first film so beautifully refused? There is not even a delicious villain to root for. Twinkies were the food choice in 1988. This is a shit served cold. Yippee-ki-yay mother F.
Labels:
2013,
A Good Day to Die Hard,
action,
America,
Bruce Willis,
Die Hard,
Hero,
Jai Courtney,
John Moore,
Russia,
sequel,
Tea Party,
worst
Friday, March 1, 2013
Seven Psychopaths (2012)
Martin McDonagh hit orbit with feature film debut “In Bruges,” a crazy
good and crushing mob film about two killers dealing with a hit gone bad. In
“Seven Psychopaths,” the writer/director spins further out onto the edge, tearing apart Hollywood clichés of serial killer thrillers, revenge flicks, and mob tales. He cheekily revels in those same tricks.
Colin Farrell is (get it?) Martin,
a bloke dead set on writing a screenplay titled “Seven Psychopaths,”
because the title sounds cool. He has not gotten past the title. His useless best
pal Billy (Sam Rockwell) steals dogs and then claims rewards from the distraught
owners.
When Billy foolishly swipes the puppy of a ruthless mobster (Woody Harrelson), barking and scratching ensue. Mob style. We get car chases, shoot-outs, and demigod Tom Waits playing a lunatic, which is what Waits does best. Christopher Walken goes sublimely off-the-charts.
When Billy foolishly swipes the puppy of a ruthless mobster (Woody Harrelson), barking and scratching ensue. Mob style. We get car chases, shoot-outs, and demigod Tom Waits playing a lunatic, which is what Waits does best. Christopher Walken goes sublimely off-the-charts.
Hooked yet?
McDonagh toys with film-goers' expectations
from the first scene, burning plot rules and the long-held traditions
of downing women and upping violence. Even if the climax stalls, “Seven” is a needed kick to the film-goosed brain. The cast is aces, especially
Rockwell. A-
Labels:
2012,
Christopher Walken,
cliche,
Colin Farrell,
dogs,
Hollywood,
In Bruges,
Martin McDonagh,
mobsters,
Sam Rockwell,
satire,
Tom Waits,
violence,
Woody Harrelson
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