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The 2013 “Getaway” is
terrible. Horribly “Can You Believe This Shit!?!” bad. Do not confuse it with the 1970s Steve McQueen flick or its Alec
Baldwin remake. This stiff has Ethan Hawke as Brent Magna, an ex-NASCAR driver
living in Bulgaria (!?!) who steals a Mustang and causes havoc on Sofia streets
as ordered by an unseen criminal mastermind who has kidnapped Magna’s wife as
collateral. Brent’s task: Blow up the city’s power station –- protected with a
key pad lock (!) -– so the mastermind can pull off a daring robbery in darkness. The
howler: Brent destroys the power grid … and not a street light blinks or a McDonald’s
arch darkens. Nothing. Nadda. But. BUT. The actors pretend it is pitch dark. Seriously. The leap of logic gymnastics is
breathtaking. Director Courtney Solomon -– he made the incompetent “Dungeons & Dragons” -– shoots and edits every car chase -– it’s nothing but –- as
split-second visual seizures, and repeats the same footage. Hawke must have been desperate for money. The final nail:
Selena Gomez (!?!) plays a pistol-packing carjacker. GTFO. F
Harmony
Korine’s purposefully delirious drama/horror/satire “Spring Breakers” is
shocking, but not for any onscreen debauchery, but how bright and shiny, and dull
it is, and how much it strives to be “Girls Gone Wild” meets “Natural Born
Killers.” Circa 1994. The story: Four college girls (led by Disney princesses Vanessa Hudgens and Selena Gomez, plus Ashley Benson and Rachel Korine) head to Florida and plunge into binge drinking, drugs, sex acts, and scooter racing without
helmets. When they land in jail, a redneck drug dealer (James Franco) “saves” and
woos the group with guns, piano skills, and love of “Scarface.” After Gomez as
a Christian named “Faith” (fancy that, eh?) bolts for home, the other
three turn pink-masked gangbanger. Really. Korine spills ironic observations
about youth obsessions with sex, gun culture, and celebrity, and our affinity
to get bored, no matter where or what we are. But he’s working from a sketchy 30-page culture thesis triple spaced to 90, with scenes and sounds (guns!) repeated
without end. Boiled down: Korine’s only real trick is getting two Mickey Mouse
stars to go Mickey and Mallory for faux shock value. To break taboos?
Or filmgoers’ patience? Franco, btw, is madly genius. C+
