Dungeons & Dragons (2000)

The movie "Dungeons & Dragons" is as exciting as the board game. Not at all. The dull plot has an evil wizard (Jeremy Irons) fighting a young queen (Thora Birch) for command of her realm, and it's up to two dullard thieves (Justin Whalin and Marlon Wayans) and a young woman (Zoe McLellan) to save the day. Or so I recall, I quit paying attention fairly quick. The level of bad acting is painful, even for a crap fantasy film. Irons doesn't chew scenery, he sucks it in whole and vomits it back up while screaming every line. Surprisingly, it's Birch ("American Beauty") who is the worst of the lot. Her queen has the personality of stool, and dresses like C-3PO. The VFX, the whole reason for these genre films, is pure 7-Eleven midnight sale. But there's one ray of hope: Wayans keeps the film from getting an egg. Seriously. I first thought his comedic performance as the token black sidekick was a horrible minstrel act not seen since the days of "Gone with the Wind." But it occurred to me that Wayans is far too talented ("Requiem for a Dream") for such nonsense. He's riffing off his brother's turn in Spike Lee's satire "Bamboozled." When his dead character is resurrected at the end, Wayans is smart enough not to appear on screen. Smarter than any dragon here. D+