Max Payne (2008)

"Max Payne" is a paint-by-numbers shoot 'em up about a cop gunning for the criminals who killed his family years before. Scowling and scowling some more, a scowling Mark Wahlberg plays the title character who finds himself involved in a giant conspiracy typical of bad shoot 'em up films. I guessed the villain just by looking at the credits and thinking of one person, "What's he doing here?" The direction by John Moore is over-the-top and flat-out dumb. In one scene, a hooker covers herself with a sheet -- before offering herself sexually to Max. Huh? Oh, the PG-13 rating. Riiight. Nearly every gun battle is shot in slow-mo, the badge of honor for any director who can't stage action. Wahlberg, better than this, could have been replaced by the wooden duck my father gave me when I was 1. It's all based on a video game, the first hint this is junk. C-