Ant-Man (2015)

Marvel’s other big 15 summer flick “The Avengers: Age of Ultron” was so dense with heroes and villains, watching it near required a flow chart even for a die-hard geek such as myself. So Marvel goes literally small with “Ant-Man,” the latest hero to hit the screen. 

Paul Rudd is Scott Lang, a Robin Hood ex-con recruited to take on the heroic identity of Ant-Man –- a hero who can shrink to the size of an ant, retain incredible strength, and control insects –- by a genius inventor/scientist (Michael Douglas) who once wore the suit. 

Aged out, Douglas’ Hank Pym (the same character also is The Beast in the X-Men films) needs Rudd’s Lang to steal vital tech from a greedy CEO (Corey Stoll) up to no good. That’s it. Not a city is destroyed. Just a building. And a house. 

And I’m thankful for that. The epic destruction climaxes can get tiring. And, thankfully, tongues are in cheek for much of the running time.A climatic fight involves a Thomas the Tank Engine being thrown about. From the eyes of a child, it’s a tiny toy falling off a track. To our hero, it’s a devastating near-death encounter. That scene kicks. 

Now the magnifying glass. Director Peyton Red infamously picked up the lead reins from geek-favorite Edgar Wright (“Shaun of the Dead”) after the latter quit, squashed by Marvel Corp. meddling. 

The cracks show. That Thomas daft bit is pure Wright. But when the main story stops hard to intro an Avengers sidebar, the movie flops. Anthony Mackie’s Falcon appears, Chris Evans’ Captain America gets name dropped. The whole plot of “Avengers 2” is discussed in a conversation so awkward Douglas squirms. He has no idea what he is mouthing off. 

Look, I dig Marvel, I love Marvel, and it wants a tie-in universe seamless and pure, and I want what Marvel wants. Just like the comic books where stories such as “Secret Wars” crossed a dozen or so titles. I get it. 

But, left alone and given free will, Wright’s movie may have been the biggest blast of Marvel fresh air since “Guardians of the Galaxy.” Wild daft fun; us not knowing what the hell might happen, or who might say what. That movie felt like a daring gamble.

This is flat boring, not a bet. Not a single surprise moment, Thomas engine aside. When hero Ant-Man can’t stop talking about how much he loves his little princess girl, who the hell is the bad guy going to go after? This is a screenplay beaten into submission. By committee. 

It doesn’t help that Stoll’s villain, who becomes the menacing Yellow Jacket, with the similar powers to Ant-Man, never once registers. He’s psycho from minute one, a barking madman who hardly seems capable of running a treadmill, much less a massive company. And how ever did he become a super villain? Where did he train? How? 

Enough bitching, what does work here is Rudd’s solid performance. He’s likable. He’s funny. But he looks like he can handle himself in a fight. Douglas is spry as well. He throws a punch. It looks good. 

Also –- and I hate to go happy on special effects when story suffers so -- but the shots of Ant-Man tiny against backgrounds that are macrophotography blown out is crazy fun. That Thomas train, or Ant-Man using a Lifesaver to save his life. (And young Michael Douglas is epic!) Reed and his VFX team knock it out of the ballpark. 

Kudos to the computer geeks and camera crews. But no matter how good the art was in the thousands of comic books I collected and read, the stories kept bringing back. And this story has nothing to sell. B-

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (2014)

This is a rebooted series miles above the original run of flicks that ruled cinemas 40 year back. A rare, dark, thinking person’s treat in the middle of summer, more interested in sparking hot debate and making audience squirm than serving up empty CGI fireworks. Seriously, put aside the Oscar-worthy 3-D motion capture effects –- all shot in forest and a city, not a sound stage –- and watch this story. “Dawn of the Planet of the Apes” picks up 10 years after 2011’s “Rise,” dumping its human cast (James Franco, bye) as we follow the primate survivors (Andy Serkis, you are a god) post bloody revolt and mass pandemic. This is the last encounter of ape and struggling humans –- led by an uncorked panicking Gary Oldman -- as the latter delve into the apes’ forest, to restart an electric dam. Any chance of interspecies peace is crushed under lingering wounds of the “old” world, and we enter a dark, new dystopian future the previous films merely hinted at. Director Matt Reeves has created a razor sharp sequel that, yes, may be inevitable, but it can still shock, too -- check an onscreen murder of a youth. Serkis is flat out amazing. A-

Jurassic Park (1993)

Twenty years on I still remember watching “Jurassic Park”: A college kid wowed back to age 5: Real dinosaurs chasing people! So it seemed. Even now, Steven Spielberg’s popcorn ride still rocks with “How’d they do that?’ dazzle, long before we overloaded on CGI. You know the plot: Two dinosaur diggers (Sam Neill and Laura Dern) are invited by a P.T. Barnum-type (Richard Attenborough) to see his latest joy ride-slash-money maker: A Pacific island holding a live dinosaur theme park, with the extinct beasts brought back via magical DNA tinkering. The scientists stare in wonder, as do we as moviegoers. Not impressed: A sharp geek (Jeff Goldblum) who dishes on chaos and dumps on the old man’s grab for big smiles and bigger dollars. Naturally, it all goes to hell when a storm and tech glitches set the “controlled” beasts free and they hunt and kill, as dino DNA dictates. That’s part of Spielberg’s genius here: These animals are never the bad guys. They merely are. The glint of power in a rich Scotsman’s eye is plenty danger. This is amazing fun, always will be, with Spielberg mastering that thing he does: Turning childhood wishful fantasies into unshakable adult nightmares. A+

Jason and the Argonauts (1963)

“The greatest film ever made.” Says Tom Hanks of “Jason and the Argonauts.” Damn it, he might not be right, but he’s not far off. How can you argue? This is absolute movie magic beauty: Giddy childish wonder watching wide-eyed as a group of men take on the gods and battle skeletal beings risen from the ground, all for honor. The director is Don Chaffey, but this is Ray Harryhausen’s gem: The special effects guru dreamed up those skeletons and the myriad giants and monsters and living ships that make up this classic. Screw CGI, this is the stuff of a boy (and girl’s) deepest imagination. The plot veers way off the Greek religious record as Jason (Todd Armstrong), lost son of a dead king, captures the Golden Fleece to –- unknown to him -– reclaim his rightful throne in an adventure that should spawn 100 sequels. Along the way, Jason finds a ship, Argo, brave warriors, and adventure and love, and monsters, and I will stop. Ditch Jason. The hero is Harryhausen. Dig those skeletons battling men to the death. This is what it meant to be young in 1963! A

The Lost World (1960)

“The Lost World” is some kind of crazy time capsule flick, a reminder how far most of America and the world has progressed since 1960. Here, a group of explorers led by a pompous professor (Claude Rains) jet to South America to claim what the prof calls “El Dorado,” a forgotten mountain where “dinosaurs” roam and dark-skinned cannibals screech and chase after good white folk. Among the heroes is a helpless, always shrieking lady (Jill St. John) who is repeatedly told a woman’s only place “is in the home” and her venturing outside is dangerous. She agrees. “150,000 years ago or today?,” the “Lost World” poster reads. That’s irony. Then and today, this is a Tea Party GOP’ers warped version of the world, as it was, is, and shall be forever. Hey, it’s an improvement over the 6,000 years thing, right? In the end, all of the white people survive, find wealth, and laugh. All the foreigners die, including the maybe gay guy. I cringed, winced, and, yes, laughed at the sexism and xenophobia, and the ancient special effects that have lizards with glued-on appendages “chasing” people. “Lost World” is accurate. C

Earth vs. The Flying Saucers (1956)

“Earth vs. The Flying Saucers” is the standard-bearer granddaddy of all “alien invasion” flicks that “Independence Day” spoofed -– yes, it’s a comedy -– in 1996. It has the doom-serving green evil invaders causing world-wide panics and raining shit on D.C. landmarks, including the Washington Memorial and the U.S. Capitol. The hero is a square-jawed dull-as-sand white guy scientist (Hugh Marlowe) who has a noggin for rockets and a new wife (Joan Taylor) with a massive need to go “Eeek!” and much 1950s pre-feminism crap. Watch this and you will see the blueprint of films released now, even “Man of Steel.” It’s wildly corny with actors seemingly embarrassed to be in front of the camera, especially when Marlowe wears an alien helmet. The ending defines anti-climactic as the end action is doled out on a freakin’ beach radio. I guess the budget for Ray Harryhausen’s special effects puttered out. (I dig the hell out of those.) This is a trite marker of the Keep America White Era, wonderfully sucker punched by Roland Emmerich in his “ID4,” with heroes black and Jewish. None of those people to be seen here. Yeah, I’m political. B

Jack the Giant Slayer (2013)

Fairy tales are always ripe for reinterpretation, and director Bryan Singer (“X-Men”) does that and openly plays with the notion of scrambling legends in “Jack the Giant Slayer.” 

That’s the new film about the beanstalk kid with the piss-poor mom, the cow, and the beans, all busied up with one giant eye (sorry) on “Lord of the Rings” and the Hollywood obsession of turning every adventure story into a war epic. 

Nicholas Holt is Jack, who lives with his uncle and stupidly trades a horse (changes!) for magic beans which lead him and a princess (Elanor Tomlinson) to the land of giants. Rescues by Jack abound because even now the princess still must be helpless. Pfft. P.S. No golden eggs here. 

“Jack” endured a tortuous production and a recent title change, and the troubles show: The giants are dodgy CGI creatures passable 10 years ago. Ewan McGregor as a valiant hero is a hoot, and Stanley Tucci as the villain has fun with bad teeth. 

But two game actors and the often witty dialogue can’t keep this “Giant” from getting cut off at the knees. Also, bless his heart, but I bet Holt has never even visited a farm. C+

Jumanji (1995)

I disliked “Jumanji” when I saw it in theaters. I cannot recall why: Too much newbie CGI, or just an irritation with Robin Williams running loony? But with this second viewing, I like its goofy innocence. 

The story: Orphans Judy (Kirsten Dunst) and Peter (Bradley Pierce) arrive in a New England town with their aunt (Bebe Neuwirth), a woman who can renovate an entire derelict mansion in one day. Sorry. That is not the plot. 

This is: The children find a centuries-old bored game called “Jumanji” in the attic, begin to play it, and out comes jungle beasts and bugs, and a bushy man (Robin Williams) who once was a boy in that same house, trapped in the game for decades. The rest of Joe Johnston’s film follows the trio -– Dunst, Pierce, and Williams -– keeping the board game’s animals, vines, and raging waters in control. 

It’s a playful film, not afraid to break the fourth wall, and let kids in on the joke of goofy fun. I cringed again at David Allan Grier’s policeman, all big eyes. It rubs wrong. I may have been wrong in 1995. B+

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012), in 3D High Frame Rate

When I first saw “The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey,” I did so in the 2D, normal 24-fames-per-second format. Movie geek that I am, I sought out the much-debated 3D, 48-fps version that Peter Jackson insists is the definitive version. The 48 verdict: Incredible. Damn the naysayers. I have seen hundreds of films in a cinema, but I have never felt as if I could reach into the onscreen fantastical world before me, and what better film to do that with than a Tolkien story? Even one embellished and stretched thin and loud as it is here, part one of a new trilogy. Skin, swords, wizard beards and hats, and even Hobbit pottery appear real. The 3D work amplifies the perspective. Of course, this was my second viewing, I knew what was coming. Would I be so positive on my first go-round, unsure of the “Journey” ahead? I cannot say. I can say: The action and special effects have zero blur, including the jaw-dropper “riddle” face-off with Bilbo (Martin Freeman) and Gollum (Andy Serkis). I hated the lethargic pace more, and the fully unnecessary “LOTR” alumni reunions more so, but what a visual delight! The B- advances to B for this version.

Explorers (1985)

Not sure how I missed “Explorers” upon its release at the height of adventure films starring children, with “Goonies” reigning as king. Joe Dante (“Gremlins”) directs this fantasy about three boys (Ethan Hawke, River Phoenix, and Jason Presson) who create a fantastical bubble that allows them to fly across town and out into space where an alien race awaits. How? Don’t ask. Just dig on the old Atari-level VFX by Industrial Light and Magic. Dante hones in on all things junior high in the “Star Wars”-and NASA-fueled 1985, and it’s a grand memory. Strangely, “Explorers” drags once the trio make first contact, pop culture jokes and finger-wagging lessons repeated ad nauseam. The film could have lost 30 minutes or been made into an episode of “Amazing Stories.” Two hours? No. Presson – who!?! – impresses far beyond Hawke (“Training Day”) and Phoenix (RIP). Watch J.J. Abrams’ “Super 8.” The boy there echoes Presson’s look and character, with an attitude that jumps off the screen. Loved the Charles M. Jones Junior High School joke. “What’s up, Doc?” B-

Death Becomes Her (1992)

Before he got lost in stop-motion animated films, Robert Zemeckis made live-action movies that used jaw-dropper special effects to tell wildly fun stories. On the darker side was “Death Becomes Her,” a “Twilight Zone”-like satire about a beauty-obsessed actress (Meryl Streep), her former high-school rival (Goldie Hawn) and the sad-sack plastic surgeon (Bruce Willis) who comes between them. A creepily beautiful Isabella Rossellini plays a sorceress who gets between everyone, with a potion that promises eternal youth, with all its hiccups (take care of your body, she warns). I will say no more for those who have not seen this wicked tale, except to say Zemeckis has a ball showing how many times a person who cannot die can die. The script is barely skin deep, but the three leads are in top comedic form. Willis lampoons his “Die Hard” persona, sporting ugly sweaters and nerd glasses, and Hawn is gloriously Hawn, with a streak of evil. Steep opens the film with a hilariously bad musical number. B+

Hugo (2011)

Leave it to Martin Scorsese to not just set a new high bar for children’s films, but all 3D movies. “Hugo” is a – superlative! -- masterpiece, a tale of an orphan boy (Asa Butterfield) in love with machines, cinema and stories, living in a Parisian train station as a clock master. Thid 3D gem glows with a boundless joy of movies and books beloved by Scorsese, making his best film in years, and his brightest, most wide-eyed adventure in ... forever. Hugo – this will upset Fox viewers – is poor, and steals food and drink to survive. (Call Newt!) That thievery puts him at odds with a short-fused toy shop owner named Georges Melies, who you well know if you know cinema. The plot kicks into glorious gear when Georges (Ben Kingsley) confiscates a notepad from Hugo, not knowing it once belonged to the boy’s dead father (Jude Law). I will say nothing more of the plot, watch and enjoy. Everything in “Hugo” – from the scenery and special effects to the actors and words -- is for proudly childish dreamers of all ages, all the ones who ever held a film camera or took pen to paper and thought, “What world can I create today?” Amazing from start to finish. A