Spy and Pitch Perfect 2 (both 2015)

Next time a guy says women aren’t funny, punch the motherless bastard in the face. 

In “Spy,” Melissa McCarthy re-teams with her “Bridesmaids” and “The Heat” director/writer Paul Fieg for a spoof/nod to 007 antics as McCarthy plays a CIA desk jockey who takes the field – and a few lives – tracking down a stolen nuke. The plot here, as in “Heat,” is distractingly laid back. That’s OK. I came to see McCarthy. Here’s the joke: She starts off her mission puking on the bad guy she just killed, but before long she’s dropping the “F” bomb and cracking skulls open. Fat loner cat jokes? She throws then back with fire as fellow spy Jason Statham torches his tough guy persona as a jackass who fumbles every single move he makes. She needs no man to save her. 

In “Pitch Perfect 2,” Anna Kendrick and Rebel Wilson return as college a cappella singers who have to fight their way back to the spotlight after a disastrously hairy performance. Co-star Elizabeth Banks takes on director duties, and her comedy might suffer from too many side plots, but it’s knowing and funny as it openly mocks sequel “come backs” and career students.

Spy: A- Pitch: B

Begin Again (2014)

I love “Once,” the Dublin-set debut from John Carney that sucked the whimsical romance out of the meet-cute genre and gave us one of the best musical soundtracks in many a year. In “Begin Again” –- once called “Can a Song Save Your Life?,” a better title -– Carney hits the USA with Brit Keira Knightley in tow to play music with Mark Ruffalo. Once again, so to speak, Carney avoids the easy romantic lines and lets adults be adults, ones who exist by song: Creating them, listening to them, savoring them. Knightly is the cheated-on girlfriend of a rising pop star, and Ruffalo is on the skids of a broken marriage and dying music career. Then he hears Knightley sing and realizes a new reason to thrive. I’ll stop there. As with “Once,” music is key to every scene, but never breaks from reality. This is a good, smart film as much about New York as the couple at story’s center. Carney only over reaches when trying to make his leads seem ultra-hip independents when they share guilty pleasure songs while walking the Big Apple. Her embarrassed choice: “As Time Goes By.” Seriously, who doesn’t love to hear Dooley Wilson’s voice? B+

A Hard Day’s Night (1964)

“A Hard Day’s Night” has ultra-young Beatles Lennon, McCartney, Starr, and Harrison lampooning their own skyrocketing stardom in a “documentary” film that pops as if it were made yesterday. Not 40 years ago. It’s f’n brilliant, with whole chunks that must have bypassed ignorant censors of the day. “No, we’re just really good friends,” Starr insisting to multiple reporters, is a highlight. The question is never heard. It’s a celebration and satire of Beatlemania, never critical of the screaming fans, with Richard Lester’s camera following the guys as they trot around London doing all sorts of light mayhem. These guys loved each other and their fans, and the camera loves them. They are also truly funny, enjoying a joke or sight gag, at their own expense the better. When Lester films through camera viewfinders and monitors, capturing the Beatles in screen on screen, it seems the birth of all meta-humor and (relevant) MTV. Forty and it pops like new. Who else could do this but the Beatles? Lennon’s hallway banter. Harrison’s job interview. Ringo’s arrest. Paul’s grandpop. Unparalleled fun. A 

Muppets Most Wanted (2014)

“Muppet Most Wanted” opens after 2011’s “The Muppets” ends as our beloved heroes bask in new found fame until they realize the still-present camera means one thing: Sequel. The Muppets have always played with the fourth wall and the jokes come fast. The opening song declares sequels as inferior and –- in an inspired bit -– surmises aloud that parent company Disney only green lit this because it’s still holding for “Toy Story 4.” The plot, though, is inferior, clever bits aside. Ricky Gervais plays an oily talent manager who fools the gang into a European tour that is a ruse to rob museums, masterminded by his frog boss, a Kermit look-alike with only a facial mole to set him apart. And a twerpy Russian accent. And no talent. Meanwhile, Kermit is sent to a Siberian prison run by Tina Fey, and housed by the likes of Ray Liotta and Danny Trejo, expert villains. There are many cameos. None must see. Director James Bobin goes for the spirit and madcap anything goes jokes of the older films, but the “Shawshank” and “Silence of the Lambs” winks ring awkward. That said, few entertainments balm one’s soul as well as the sight of Beeker. B

Pitch Perfect (2012)

College a cappella comedy “Pitch Perfect” stands among many a film, from “Mean Girls” to a thousand comedies where the cool outsider joins the team of almost-winners (losers) and puts them over the top for a finale guaranteed to leave you grinning. Certainly, though, “Perfect” has to be the first movie about an a cappella group, although I can’t tell if a cappella equals glee clubs or not. Anna Kendrick -- who seems to de-age every year -- plays cool DJ music masher Becca who ends up joining an all-female singing group, because damn it, she loves music. The group is run by a princess (Anna Camp) destined for a drubbing. The group is stuck in tradition, and they need Becca, who can make music from a cup bopped on wood. They get it. Duh. I liked the music and the way Australian comic Rebel Wilson steals every scene with just a shrug. What I did not like: The cruel Asian stereotypes that I hope are ironic toss-backs to those ’80s John Hughes films (“Sixteen Candles”) that endorsed Asian racism. (God bless John Hughes. RIP.) I’ll be a ca-optimistic. B

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (1947)

I have not read the short story nor have I seen the new film from Ben Stiller of “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty.” But I did just check out the original cinematic take with Danny Kaye as the mother-heckled, day-dreaming hero whose flights of fancy get him in trouble, from running a car over a curb to getting caught up in a murder conspiracy plot that plays as a satirical stab at Hitchcock. That’s not a complaint, not with Kaye -– absolutely one of the most lovable and talented souls ever to grace the screen -- as the good guy and Boris Karloff as an evil doctor who tries to shove Kaye out a high-rise window. (Kaye is playing the anti-Cary Grant hero here, a scared wet-eyed puppy.) Story author James Thurber hated the film. Changes were made and blah blah blah. Sorry for him. Truly. Because it’s Danny Kaye, we have song and dance, and not to discount Thurber, I smiled huge. Sure, it’s corny, but it’s joyful, even if the finale feels random, missing. Watch it. Smile. B+

Saving Mr. Banks (2013)

The story of Walt Disney’s struggle to make the 1964 classic “Mary Poppins” has often been told during the past 50 years. Author P.L. Travers fought Disney on every word during production and loathed the movie (the latter is outright squashed). This cleaned-up squabble is the basis for “Saving Mr. Banks” which shows how Travers (real name Helen Goff, played by Emma Thompson) was won over by Disney’s (Tom Hanks) charm, and explores why the children’s book author was so harsh -- mainly her haunting Outback youth. This is a Disney film, though, and from the opening logos, it works to make the audience smile and cry, damn the facts. It succeed, mostly. But “Banks” is grossly off point. Walt himself woos Travers with his own uneasy childhood tale, but it’s for naught. Yes, Walt had it hard, many do, but Travers’ parents were non-functioning adults riddled by alcoholism and mental illness that reached the act of suicide. (Worst offense: Mistaking dad’s drunken fatherly doting and kindness for actual doting and kindness.) No talk from a nice old guy or spoonful of sugar can remedy that. Still, the happy tunes and sunny spirit are difficult to resist. Disney magic, that. B-

Les Miserables (2012)

The big-screen adaptation of the tragedy/musical “Les Miserables” is everything every N.Y. film critic has said: Bombastic, sentimental, and manipulative; it tosses out tragedies like candy at a parade and has a story arc that could rival the Bible, but -- so what? Have they read Victor Hugo’s novel? The contrivances that drive its plot are halved here, and still may produce viewer whiplash. Hugh Jackman plays the Job-like French peasant Jean Valjean who finds faith and wealth after serving a grueling 19-year prison sentence for stealing bread, and sees raising the child of a doomed street woman named Fantine (Anne Hathaway) as his God-ordered duty. Meanwhile, he dodges an obsessive police inspector (Russell Crowe) hell-bent on law and order. Directed by Tom Hooper (“King’s Speech”), “Mes” proudly defies cynicism, and my cynical-self fell for it, especially the actors who sing on and to the camera with none of the lip-syncing shit that makes most musicals a chore. Crowe may be a blank, but Hathaway gives a performance that left me rattled. Jackman, too. Yes, it oozes excess at every turn, but Hugo would happily hum along. I did. B+

Rock of Ages (2012)

Worst fuckin’ episode of “Glee” I ever watched. And it lacks anyone half as cool as Chris Colfer. Blockbuster wannabe “Rock of Ages” tosses Tom Cruise, Alec Baldwin, Russell Brand, Bryan Cranston, Catherine Zeta-Jones, and Paul Giamatti, plus two shiny youths -- Julianne Hough and Diego Boneta –- in an insipid mix-tape, mashed-up, lip-sync heavy rock story (sound familiar?) about fame and love that leans slightly more dangerous than “Bye Bye Birdie.” If “Birdie” were set in 1987. That’s the year “Ages,” based on a Broadway hit likely snipped of its balls on its way to the screen, takes place, when Poison, Def Leppard, and Jon Bon Jovi ruled MTV, radio, and record stores. Tone deaf from frame one with a sing-along Night Ranger bus ride, “Ages” sock hops between celebrating rock n’ roll big hair hedonism and giving a mocking F.U. finger to anyone who longs for vinyl records. Not that it matters. Our rock stars here drink, but never get drunk. Flirt and strip, but never screw. Drugs? No. Never. This is Wal-Mart rock, scrubbed clean for the kids who once listened to Quiet Riot, but now vote Romney, and party in PG-13 style. D+

Bound for Glory (1976)

“Bound for Glory” is a movie the GOP might wish banned, a tribute to the American Union spirit that defied billy-club work-crew bosses during the long Great Depression. Men such as Woody Guthrie and thousands of fruit pickers – paid pennies per bushel for exhausting work – were the first to Take Our Country Back, and “Glory” tells this biopic story of the leftist singer in such wonderful detail, one might think this a documentary. Hal Ashby (“Harold and Maude”) directs with a keen eye and ear, and as the man who wrote “This Land is Your Land,” David Carradine is soulful and serene. It’s a must-watch as we head toward an election held fast by corporate-controlled puppets that have no regard for anyone but their rich peers. Yet, this is no leftist orgy. Guthrie is a womanizer, too selfish to recognize his family. It’s a sharp message from Ashby and Carradine, troubled men themselves. Ronny Cox (“Total Recall”) as a unionizer dazzled by fame is marvelous. The cinematography recalls Dorothea Lange. A-

The Artist (2011)

Director/writer Michel Hazanavicius’ much-celebrated “silent” black-and-white comedy-drama “The Artist” is a high-wire act of cinematic love that pays homage to and plays with the earliest movies. The plot: Boisterous star of 1920s action films George Valentin (Jean Dujardin) falls hard from celebrity as “Talkies” become Hollywood’s mantra, ironically sweeping the starlet (Bérénice Bejo) he discovered to fame. Hazanavicius trumps expectations throughout, putting Valentin in a nightmare world of “sound” where glasses clink and dogs bark, but our hero has no voice. Sly jokes abound, too: A grammatical error in a dialogue card nudges a scene into hilarity. The lack of vocals makes us focus on the faces and gestures of the actors, the artists, on screen and fully appreciate their craft: Dujardin, Bejo, James Cromwell, and John Goodman. Dujardin and Bejo’s onscreen chemistry is priceless, and their final scene packs two surprises: The long-lost glory of dance in movies, and the real fear why Valentin feels he has no voice in America. Rare is the moment when “Artist” is truly silent, for it packs a stellar score using music new and old to serve as a substitute for voices, a narration of orchestra and ’20s jazz. Also, best dog ever. A

The Muppets (2011)

My childhood has a pop culture Holy Trinity: “Star Wars,” Superman, and “The Muppets.” So, a new film – after a long silence following the 1999 dud “Muppets from Space” -- is massive in my life. Ask my wife. (No. Don’t.) So, is this rebooted comedy-musical farce, with Jason Segal and Amy Adams as the human leads, all it can be? No. Devout to classic Muppet spirit? No. But it is a start. The plot concerns the old gang -- Kermit, Miss Piggy, Scooter, Fozzie, Gonzo, etc. – reuniting to save not just the rundown Muppet Theatre, but their felt bodies and ping-ball-eye selves, and souls, too. And these things have souls. Better than CGI. It is daft, and spends far too much time on its human stars and has too many fart-shoes jokes that seen unwise, but it’s a blast. As with the TV show and original films, guest stars abound. Jack Black leads the pack. Heaps of hip comics. But no Steve Martin, who knows his Muppets. I wanted that. But I loved seeing Scooter again, and hearing “The Rainbow Connection.” Just wow. I can’t wait for more. RIP Jim Henson. Oh, Chris Cooper raps. Hilariously awkward. B+

The Runaways (2010)

When MTV debuted, Joan Jett’s shouted anthem “I Love Rock n’ Roll” (a cover) seemed to be the only female voice in an all-male sport. That chapter of Jett’s life is unseen in “The Runaways,” the standard biopic treatment of her first band, The Runaways – the early 1970s all-girl band that set guys’ eyes and other parts bulging, before the band imploded from drugs, sex, in-fighting and all the other rock band woes. “Runaways” puts Jett (Kristen Stewart) in second place, and focuses on Cherie Currie, the 15-year-old singer of the band, picked from a nightclub for not dancing. She jumps at the chance to escape her shattered family, and the band’s “I am God!” producer (Michael Shannon) drools at the thought of exploiting Cherie’s jailbait age. Dakota Fanning (who co-stars with Stewart in the “Twilight” pics) plays Cherie in a brave performance. Writer/director Floria Sigismondi hits every single Behind the Music tour stop, down to the prerequisite recording studio meltdown. The Runaways used the definitive F.U. song “Cherry Bomb” to burn the rules; the movie is a wet match. C

The Princess and the Frog (2009)

Walt Disney Studios broke ground with “The Princess and the Frog” – a fantasy tale focused on an African-American girl with the big Disney Dreams™ and the handsome guy to go with them. It felt about damn time, after how many decades. Seven? Eight? Alas, this hand-drawn animated tale never took off in theaters. Racism? No. It’s the film's plot and tone. Our not-a-princess princess (voiced by Anika Noni Rose) wants to open a restaurant of her own, and running after her dream, gets mixed up with a young prince who’s now literally a frog (that’s Bruno Campos) and a local New Orleans con man/master of dark arts (Keith David.) I’m not quite sure any child dreams of opening a restaurant, so there’s that, and some of the animation involving “The Shadow Man” is quite spooky – skulls and wicked ghost shadows, etc. Not for the babes. All that said, this is one great-looking flick with some clever side characters and surprises along the way. It’s not Disney’s best, but even off-center Disney can be wonderful entertainment. B+

Fame (1980 and 2009)

“I’m gonna live for ever. I’m gonna learn how to fly.” Those words are the soul and theme of 1980’s “Fame.” It is the almost-prayer that students at the N.Y. School of the Performing Arts send up as they dance impromptu atop cars and trucks in the busy streets. The reality, though, is harsh: Failure is more likely, or a desperate late-night abortion, or a self-imposed exile worthy of Michael Corleone. The young actors, especially Gene Anthony Ray as a homeless dancer, are amazing. The remake serves up synthetic fluff so square it wouldn’t disturb a single moral at a Family on the Focus meeting. In 2009, there are no open gays at a drama/arts school. Seriously. The young actors are OK, hired more for their magazine cover appeal rather than gritty talent. The teachers (Megan Mullally especially) rule the roost. Both films suffer from a rushed auditions-to-graduation timeline and a myriad of plots that get lost in the kitchen sink pace. 1980: B+ 2009: C-

La Vei en Rose (2007)

Biopics on artists are a dime a dozen, as prolific as superhero films. Edith Piaf gets her due in “La Vie en Rose,” the most ironically titled movie I’ve ever seen. Yes, it’s the title of her hit song, but there is no pink (French for rose) here. This is all dreary grays, browns and blacks, with a dash of American pop art near the end. Piaf was an absolute talent, for sure, but the film posits that her life began in astounding poverty and disease during World War I, and was forever littered with copious amounts of alcohol and drugs, and more disease. She died at 48, looking 78. “Rose” makes “Pollack” seem as joyful as “Yo Gabba Gabba.” The film’s use of fractured timelines goes too far, and I got lost among husbands and lovers, but star Marion Cotillard (“Inception”) is so amazing in the lead, all complaints are moot. She shrinks and contorts her body, and sings the hell out of every tune, under heavy makeup. I love the use of “Je ne regrette rien" ("No, I regret nothing") at the end. B+

Nine (2009)

The new musical “Nine” ought to be Oscar bound. It’s certainly pitched that way. We have “Chicago” director Rob Marshall at the helm, with (deceased) Oscar-winner Anthony Mangella on co-writing duties. Oscar god Harvey Weinstein produces. The cast? Daniel Day-Lewis, Nicole Kidman, Penelope Cruz, Judi Dench, Kate Hudson, Sophia Loren and Marion Cotillard. It's too much. Seriously. Day-Lewis is Fellini-inspired Italian film director Guido Contini who is fretting over his wife (Cotillard), smothered by his mistress (Cruz), hot for his star (Kidman), dreamy for his first crush (Fergie from Black-Eyed Peas) and stalked by a reporter (Hudson). His life and ninth film are falling apart ala “A Serious Man.” I loved the frantic professor in that gem of a film, but Guido is a whiny bore in an over-blown film that's also often boring. Many of the lyrics grind with elementary rhymes and word play, and an out-classed DDL only gets two minor songs that are bulldozed by his co-stars (Hudson dazzles). Nine? More like a 5. C+

Once (2007)

“Once” is a true feat: An original take on a tired standard (here, boy-meets-girl drama) that turns the table legs up, and provides a bit of magic for extra bargain. The magic here is the amazingly heartfelt, seemingly-off-the-cuff music created by the guy (Glen Hansard) and the girl (Marketa Irglova). The set-up is easy: Girl stumbles upon Guy as he sings passionately -- wildly so -- on a Dublin street corner. They talk music, and befriend each other, moving ever closer to … I won’t spoil it. Made on a shoestring budget and by-God seemingly shot on the fly and improvised, writer-director John Carney has made a startling new passionate film about adult love. If you’re looking for a mushy feel-good rom com, look elsewhere. This is the anti-“High School Musical” - a film about love, music and adults. Blissfully real, with an ending that will stick with you. The soundtrack - have I said this enough? - is amazing, and not a single bit American. A

Across the Universe (2007)

Julie Taymor made the ultra-violent and bizarre "Titus" and the ultra-quirky and visual "Frida." Her latest, "Across the Universe" is interesting, but it's too way ultra-everything for its own good.

The film follows several young adults (including Evan Rachel Wood and Jim Sturgess) as they struggle through the 1960s, going to war or avoiding war. Music from The Beatles is sung by the cast as the film's central nervous system and heart. The film stops dead in its track often for long animated musical numbers that wear thin. A character named Prudence is given a wonderful intro and a good story (she's gay when being gay was way out of line) but is dropped without explanation mid-way through the film.

Taymor's vision in "Titus" and "Frida" served the films. The cart and horse are reversed here. More Prudence and prudence is needed. Bono, Eddie Izzard, Joe Cochran and other cool guys have cameos. C+

Mamma Mia! (2008)

The comedy-musical "Mamma Mia!" is flat-out torture-porn. The vision of Pierce Brosnan, Colin Firth and Stellan Skarsgard singing in glittery, open-chest disco jumpsuits is the most terrifying movie scene I've ever witnessed. Godless. Now I can dig a musical, but this ABBA-fused sing-a-long of a young bride (Amanda Seyfried) longing to know the identity of her father (the three luckless are contenders) has all the charm of an all-singing, audience-participation version of "Hostel" as presented by Tennessee's worst dinner theater. At one point, I thought a group of seagulls was drowning on the beach. Turns out it was the groom's wedding party dancing. Brosnan's singing could spread atheism. You know the quote, "Every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings"? Every time Brosnan sings, an angel is beaten to death with a crowbar then nailed to a cross and set on fire. Meryl Streep, still a stunner at 60, survives the ordeal with her dignity intact. I can't say the same for me, having watched this film. D+