Doomsday (2008)

"Doomsday" is a mishmash of a dozen films, the kind of thing Quentin Tarantino would make but only if he had less talent.

In 2008, a plague wipes out Scotland, which is then cordoned off by the remaining U.K. Eden, a lone child survivor of the outbreak, grows up in London to be a kick-ass super soldier with a mechanical eyeball and played by Rhona Mitra. The government needs back in to Scotland find a cure among the mysterious Scottish survivors to prevent a new breakout in London. With a troop of soldiers, Eden goes in and the action starts as she fights wild-haired cannibal hooligans who tool around on weaponized junk cars. Her target for the cure turns out to be a now crazed cult leader (Malcolm McDowell) hidden away in a remote fort.

This isn't a movie, it's a serious of homage clips strung together by fan boys of "28 Days Later," "The Bionic Woman," "Mad Max," "Apocalypse Now" and many more flicks. Screenwriter and director Neill Marshall fumbles often. He introduces a Robin Hood clone who rescues Eden and a princess (yes, there's a princess) using a steam train. It makes no logical sense whatsoever except that trains look great on film. Eden's troops also drive an armored tank only to have an arrow pierce its giant glass windshield. These go far past the "it's only a movie" test.

"Doomsday" may never be dull, but the goofs and the rip-offs are too much to ignore. Oh, and that mechanical eyeball: Eden takes it in and out, and throws it on the ground as a spy tool, and then puts it back in and ... oh, man, my germ freak self just weeps. C-