The Descent (2006)

"The Descent" is a frighteningly good, nasty Scottish production from writer/director Neil Marshall, who made the recent and far less worthy "Doomsday."

This centers on a group of female friends from varying countries who meet for an adventure-vacation in North Carolina's mountains. The sextuplet drop into a cave for what should be a light, one-day natural exploration, but things go wrong fast: The group's leader lied about the destination, the strongest outdoors sport member is quickly injured and, near the one-hour mark, cannibalistic bat-like creatures attack.

It's a simplistic romp, really -- a knowing tip of the hat to "Alien," "Deliverance and even the lesser "The Cave," but it's smarter than 99 percent of the "trapped in" horror genre films. The violence is savage, but the all-female cast is never treated as mere meat who exist only for disembowelment. These women fight back from the start, and never let up, with a few exceptions. The tension also is different, and keeps the film glued together. The linchpin: Of the six women, the main hero (Shauna Macdonald) lost her family in an accident the year prior, and the group's lying leader (Natalie Mendoza) is harboring a longtime secret. When the (admittedly obvious, yes) secret is revealed, it sets off Macdonald on a rampage like Martin Sheen in full "Apocalypse Now" mode.

It's all great fun to watch, despite the occasional lapses in logic. (The creatures are blind, sure, but they can't sense heat?) Fact: Nothing stems or compares to a woman's rage, not even certain knowledge of having your guts ripped out and eaten whilst you're alive. European films have a knack for tapping into a woman' rage without making them into "bitches"; few American films do that. This alone puts this gory flick into a rare category: Horror you can proudly show your teen daughter. The ending is spectacular. B+

Doomsday (2008)

"Doomsday" is a mishmash of a dozen films, the kind of thing Quentin Tarantino would make but only if he had less talent.

In 2008, a plague wipes out Scotland, which is then cordoned off by the remaining U.K. Eden, a lone child survivor of the outbreak, grows up in London to be a kick-ass super soldier with a mechanical eyeball and played by Rhona Mitra. The government needs back in to Scotland find a cure among the mysterious Scottish survivors to prevent a new breakout in London. With a troop of soldiers, Eden goes in and the action starts as she fights wild-haired cannibal hooligans who tool around on weaponized junk cars. Her target for the cure turns out to be a now crazed cult leader (Malcolm McDowell) hidden away in a remote fort.

This isn't a movie, it's a serious of homage clips strung together by fan boys of "28 Days Later," "The Bionic Woman," "Mad Max," "Apocalypse Now" and many more flicks. Screenwriter and director Neill Marshall fumbles often. He introduces a Robin Hood clone who rescues Eden and a princess (yes, there's a princess) using a steam train. It makes no logical sense whatsoever except that trains look great on film. Eden's troops also drive an armored tank only to have an arrow pierce its giant glass windshield. These go far past the "it's only a movie" test.

"Doomsday" may never be dull, but the goofs and the rip-offs are too much to ignore. Oh, and that mechanical eyeball: Eden takes it in and out, and throws it on the ground as a spy tool, and then puts it back in and ... oh, man, my germ freak self just weeps. C-