Howl’s Moving Castle (2005)

The 2005 release “Howl’s Moving Castle” is my third Hayao Miyazaki film in as many months, and it’s as out-of-this-world magical as its sister films (“Spirited Away“ and “Ponyo”). A girl who works in her late father’s hat shop encounters in a single day a kindly but eccentric wizard named Howl and a self-fawning, cruel witch. The former saves Sophie’s life, while the latter sets a spell that turns lass into old lady. The stricken Sophie flees home, only to encounter the titular structure, a (literally) roaming mishmash of dozens of castles, houses and cottages. "Howl" casts its own spell with a surreal plot, shifting character loyalties and -- hands down -- some of the best animation I’ve ever laid eyes on. Miyazaki’s films have become my favorite film fantasy outlets of recent, and “Howl” delivers: The sites, images and many places see here have never been done before. The American dub has Christian Bale as Howl, Emily Mortimer as (young) Sophie and Billy Crystal as a fireplace demon. The last thankfully low key. A

An Education (2009)

In early 1960s England, a 16-year-old girl named Jenny (Carey Mulligan) is wooed, romanced and whisked off to Paris and more by a much older man, 30-ish David (Peter Sarsgaard). It’s heaven to Jenny, who’s finishing a religious high school and looking forward to Oxford, then marriage and kids, and that’s it. (Certainly not a career.) With such a romance, it can’t end well, especially when Jenny learns David and his troupe of friends steal to pay the rent and jet to the Continent. Directed by Lone Scherfig and written by Nick Hornby (“High Fidelity”), the film is a stunner. And not just in acting, with Mulligan giving a magical debut, and Sarsgaard continually being a grade A star. It races past the possibly icky child molestation drama by tossing clichés and most expectations on their ears: Jenny’s parents approve, while her teachers rightfully vehemently disapprove, even as they show bigotry (David is a Jew). As with Jenny, who faces few to no choices in a sexist society, and makes mistakes in trying to (wouldn’t you?) break free, “Education” is a complicated joyful, heartbreaking film. A

Hudson Hawk (1991)

Bruce Willis just doesn’t star in the notorious action-comedy flop “Hudson Hawk,” he struts around like he’s the love-child of James Dean and John Belushi. He plays a cat thief who’s roped into (wait for it) one last job by the mobster Mario Brothers. Get it? Mario. Brothers. They’re Italian. (That’s the level of humor here.) One’s played by Frank Stallone. Sly was busy, I guess. Twenty or so minutes in, I thought the film was just somewhat awful. Then Willis and partner-in-crime Danny Aiello break into a museum to steal some Da Vinci art, and they … sing. Literally. Bruce Willis sings. And dances. As he robs a museum. It gets worse: Villain Richard E. Grant announces, “I’m the villain.” Sandra Bernhard is set off her chain. Andie McDowell is a nun who at one point impersonates a dolphin. Rome looks boring. (!) The whole film is one of those self-satisfied “ain’t we having fun?” toss-offs by actors too powerful to be told “No.” The last shot has Willis smirking into the camera. His face says, “Don’t like it? Fuck you.” Right back at you, Bruce. But I ain’t smirking. F

The Lovely Bones (2009)

I’ve not read the wildly popular book “The Lovely Bones.” So I entered this Peter Jackson adaptation aware only of the plot: 14-year-old Susie Salmon (Saoirse Ronan) is murdered in 1973 by a neighbor (Stanley Tucci) and watches from her own fantastical mini-heaven as her family (parented by Mark Wahlberg and Rachel Weisz) grieves. Oscar winner? Not. The problems come quick: Jackson references “The Lord of the Rings” in a bookstore ad, and it’s just one hint of a director obsessed with his own past. To wit: In Susie’s heaven, we are served a “Heavenly Creatures” redux, but cloying and over-stuffed with CGI dancing penguins. The fantasy puff overwhelms the drama. In heavy makeup, Tucci is the most generic child murderer I’ve ever seen on screen: Bad blond comb over. Giant "I kill" eye glasses. Loner. Openly glares as teenage girls pass by. He builds doll houses. Doll houses! The guy would flag crazy in 1973, 2003 or 1773. Worse, his denouncement is bizarrely supernatural, tasked by Susie’s spirit? God? Only the performances gel, with Ronan proving “Atonement” was no fluke. Weisz shines, always. Tucci menaces, but all in one key. Only Wahlberg falls short. Surely the book must be better than this. C+

District 9 (2009)

“Avatar” may be the biggest, most eye-popping sci-fi film of 2009, but it’s not the best. Or the boldest. That crown belongs to “District 9,” a low-budget genre masher that outpaces James Cameron’s epic on every front -- writing, acting, brains, brawn and infection -- that really matters to a true cinephile. By infection, I mean this South African-made film got in my blood system and hasn't left. It’s also a razor sharp satire on politics, racism and society, without being obnoxious.

Produced by Peter Jackson and directed by newcomer Neill Blomkamp, “District 9” is set on an alternate Earth in which a massive alien ship entered South African airspace and hovered over Johannesburg in 1982. It has stayed stranded there ever since, with its alien passengers left to live in openly fetid anarchistic slums. The presence of these aliens, which resemble Greedo from “Star Wars” meshed with a lobster, upended Apartheid's bloody era by giving black Africans and ruling white invaders new ground in which to bond: Hatred and oppression of the visitors.

Our lead character is a xenophobic Haliburton-type, right-wing-patsy company man named Wikus (newcomer Sharlto Copley), who dearly loves his wife, but giggles happily as he watches and listens to alien eggs burn. (He likens the sounds of abortion-by-fire to cooking popcorn.) A pathetic, vest-wearing nerd, Wilkus is charged with clearing the city’s alien slums, thus shipping the residents to a countryside camp, not unlike a Nazi mantra. But something gets in his blood system … and the movie blasts off in a 100 directions.

Told in a mixture of faux documentary interviews inter-cut with straight forward movie narrative, “District 9” is staggering in its suspense and the character arch of Wikus. It’s also a treat after “Avatar” (despite my liking it quite well), to see special-effects treated as haphazard: The ship hovering over the city is just part of the landscape, a common site to every one on screen.

But it’s the satire here that really sells: Dig the interview scene where a woman speaks about the "evil" visitors: “They’ll take your shoes right off your feet” and “kill you” without a thought, she claims. As she speaks, a nearby alien desperately and hopelessly scrambles through a dumpster in search of food. The kicker: The woman is a poor black. Not a rich snooty European. That’s film-making with balls, not to mention the second smart blockbuster of the summer to re-do history (the other is "Inglourious Basterds").

It’s wild that a sci-fi film made halfway around the world, with no American actors and mostly in subtitles, can remind us that this genre is at its most glorious when it’s not just tickling our eyes and ears, but striking at our hearts and minds. But, I’ll take it. A

Avatar (2009)

Let’s get two things clear: The plot of “Avatar” is lean. As others have said, it’s “Dances With Wolves” in space. Sam Worthington ("Terminator: Salvation") is akin to the Kevin Costner soldier of conscious, Zoe Saldana of “Star Trek” plays his culture-(dare I say star?)crossed lover. We have tall blue aliens replacing Native Americans, and corporate soldiers-for-hire steeping in for 1860s Union troops. There’s even a winged-horse similar to Cisco that heroically dies in a hail of bullets.

But all that doesn’t matter, because of the second thing: Director James Cameron is the king of the world. Well, cinema. Hands down. Because what "Avatar" lacks in story-telling, it breaks new ground and tops untoppable expectations in special-effects and eye-candy cinema. As in “Aliens,” “The Abyss,” and the "Terminator" films, “Avatar” drop-kicked the child inside my brain, the one who still wants to be Spider-Man. (In addition to DWW, Cameron also borrows -- ironically and quite well -- from the climax of his own "Aliens.")

The CGI aliens in here, created by a new high-tech motion capture camera developed by Cameron, have full, real personalities. The aliens’ eyes are deep and glisten with the spark of life. Skin has pores, cracks and creases. Blood smears sloppily. Other than Gollum from “Lord of the Rings,” I’ve never seen that before. Mountains float, as do hairy little jelly fish that glow florescent bright. Plants, mountains, strange creatures and moons abound, all in seemingly photo-realistic clarity. The stunning battles, especially in the 3-D version, left me breathless. (Cameron also redesigned the entire 3-D process.)

And as with “Titanic,“ Cameron has toppled my movie-snob brick wall to the ground. I literally cared about every alien, shrub, flying horse and tree from start to finish in this openly "tree-hugger" film (Republicans will cringe). In 3-D and the 2-D version, both times. No "Avatar" isn't as deep as "Hurt Locker" or even "District 9," but it's the purest cinematic experience I've had all year. Cameron makes films that belong in theaters. Huge cinemas. To be seen with an audience. Not at home on DVD, safe in the living room with the lights on. That’s out-of-this world movie-making talent. A-

The Adventure of Sherlock Holmes’ Smarter Brother (1975)

Following “The Producers“ (Broadway), “Blazing Saddles” (western) and “Young Frankenstein” (classic horror) -- all made by Mel Brooks, Gene Wilder starred, wrote and directed the spoof “The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes’ Smarter Brother” on his own. Some veterans of the prior films, mainly Marty Feldman, Dom DeLuise and Madeline Kahn, appear in supporting roles in this story about a case too lowly for the pipe smoking great detective. Sherlock instead kicks it to his kid brother, Sigerson Holmes (Wilder), a musical-loving wannabe who ought to be in the same therapy class as Leo Bloom. What the case is all about is irrelevant. The gags count here, none better than a Moriarty (Leo McKern) who must commit an evil act every 24 minutes, cannot add and has a height issue. McKern steals the film, even from the likes of the great cast. There are solid laughs all around, but as a whole this falls short of Brooks gold. The ending is choppy, as if Wilder couldn’t decide how to roll credits. B

Snow Day (2000)

"Snow Day," a comedy about children relieved of school for the day, is too awful to ponder here for more than this next sentence. Chevy Chase stars, painfully, riffing on decade old “Christmas Vacation” gags. Terrible. D-

2009: Best and Worst

The Best*
1. Where the Wild Things Are. The classic book about a wild child growing up becomes a new classic film about the same. Spike Jonze really needs to work more.
2. (Tie) District 9 and Moon. Two sci-fi flicks that remind us this genre can be as smart as it is cool-looking. I can't decide which I like more.
3. Up. Pixar does it again. The 5-minute marriage montage is beautiful and heart-breaking.
4. Inglourious Basterds. Tarantino returns with an alternate history World War II flick that's cooler than fact. An amazing trick.
5. The Hurt Locker. It might skim on war facts and discipline, but this Iraq drama burns deep and long. The opening is unforgettable.
6. Precious: Based on the novel "Push" by Sapphire. Amazing performances shine with utmost love and evil in this shocking film.
7. Gomorrah. A near-documentary take on mafia crime in modern Italy. I watched it twice back-to-back.
8. (Tie) Coraline & The Fantastic Mr. Fox. Stop-motion animation flicks that brought out the child in me. "Coraline" is absolute genius.
9. Up in the Air. Jason Reitman brilliantly works in real-life laid off workers amid a George Clooney satire about American jobs.
10. Avatar. No one does Hollywood blockbuster like James Cameron. Movie fun galore, and the first and only 3-D must-see.

The Worst*
5. The Twilight Saga: New Moon. How one film can set feminism back by decades. A horrid example for young women.
4. Gamer. The poster child of mindless, soulless violence and debauchery. Ugly, too. I hated this movie.
3. Old Dogs. A family comedy so bad you can see Robin Williams sweat. John Travolta has lost all sense.
2. The Boondock Saints II: All Saint's Day. The vile sequel in a franchise made for bigots who think Jesus packed guns, not love.
1. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. The longest, most painful film I saw all year. My head literally hurt. And I still can't tell the robots apart.

*Always subject to change, and expand.

Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire (2009)

“Precious: Based on the Novel by Sapphire” is a scalding, relentless drama that plays as near-horror, but grounded in stark reality. All the more horrifying, that reality. We follow 16-year-old Harlem resident Clarice “Precious” Jones (newcomer Gabourey Sidibe), who is black, poor, obese, abused, lonely, and desperate to crawl out of her cramped-apartment hell. Mother (Mo’Nique) is a seemingly soulless monster: A Welfare addict/couch potato who is jealous that her boyfriend impregnated -- twice -- Precious. The man is Precious’ father. This is a shockingly violent, no-safety-bars emotional bruising, as memorable as 2000‘s “Requiem for a Dream.” It knocks you to the floor, and asks you to get up again. To keep watching. So many films feel pre-packaged. This feels real. You can smell that rotting, peeling apartment wallpaper. Chalk that up to director Lee Daniels. May he make many more films. Mo’Nique and Sidibe are shocking -- with the former’s apparent evil and the latter’s pain -- and so good I forgot they are actors. The ending is a wonder of film-making, a small ray of hope that still burns. One of the year’s best. A

The Girlfriend Experience (2009)

Steven Soderbergh scales back from his “Oceans” films to tell the story of an escort worker (Sasha Grey) whose job requires her to “play” the girlfriend of her vastly wealthy clients. The men don’t really love women. They like the sex, sure. But it’s money they love. And the high-rise apartments, jets, wine and fancy restaurants. But, it’s all burning away -- the stock market is on life-support and the 2008 election is on TV. Our escort, Christine is just as cold. She obsesses about her clothes, yearns for a clothing boutique of her own, and is shocked when her live-in boyfriend (Chris Santos) balks at her wanting to go away with a client because she and he may be soul mates. Why? They share a birthday. It’s not a life-changer, but Soderbergh weaves a tale where American has ditched commitment and true connection, for money. This is the wakeup call. Grey, from the adult film business, owns the screen. She packs a wallop without lifting an eyebrow. The “off-the-cuff” cinematography and editing made me feel like a fly on the wall. The writing, so smooth, has the vibe of a documentary. A-

Julie and Julia (2009)

Two films in one. Wee! “Julie and Julia” follows modern day New Yorker Julie Powell (Amy Adams) who blogs about wading her way through Julia Child’s famously thick French cooking book, and the story behind how post-World War II-era Child (Meryl Streep) authored the famous kitchen must-have. The Child sections are best and most on target, with Streep playing the tall chef married to a diplomat (Stanley Tucci, winning as ever). Streep has the voice down cold, and the mannerism, too, but never sinks to mimicry. She’s a hoot. The politics of an American woman grabbing her own destiny in Europe crackle, as do the scenes where the poison of McCarthyism seeps into this happy couple’s life. The Powell sections are good, carried more by Adams’ great performance and ever-growing charisma than the writing. The woes of a directionless 30-year-old just don’t resonate as much. Nora Ephron directs and writes. And the food … yum! B+

Donnie Darko (2001)

I finally caught up with “Donnie Darko,” a cult-hit film that vibes and jolts like a David Lynch film made for the teen set. It’s an un-even film, prone to heavy-handed symbolism (a fired liberal teacher leaves her Catholic school employer, American flag in arms, and stumbles and nearly falls), but “Darko” has more on it’s mind than just booze, sex and rock n’ roll. And it has Katharine Ross, famous star of “The Graduate” and “Stepford Wives,” plus “Butch Cassidy.” Jake Gyllenhaal is Donnie, a troubled teen (he previously destroyed an empty home) smashing against parental authority, seeing a psychiatrist (Ross) as well as a man-sized bunny in a metal mask. Bunny says the world will end, soon. Director/writer Richard Kelly sets a lot of plates spinning, most successfully the one where the “crazy” teen may be the most sane, honest, person in the room. A brilliant take on real teens. Still, I got the feeling there was a good deal of footage and story on the cutting room floor. B

Blindness (2008)

"Blindness" is a close cousin to 2006‘s "Children of Men": A malady besets society (here, blindness; barren wombs in "Men") and a group of survivors including Julianne Moore (both films) must muddle through before they see any sign of hope. Here, the metaphor is obvious … loudly so. Among the victims are Mark Ruffalo’s casually racist eye doctor, Danny Glover’s one-eyed wise man and Gael Garcia Bernal’s anarchistic psychotic. NOT affected is Ruffalo’s dutiful wife (Moore), who keeps her sight a secret. As the Miracle Woman, logic leads one to believe that Moore would take charge. Maybe even take advantage. Not so. She is starved and orally gang-raped with sickening ease, watches and shrugs as her hubby screws a whore, and cries. A lot. “Men” soared with heart, shocks and quite possibly the best pro-life film message in memory. It was alive. Different. “Blindness” is flat, and more proof that good-intended liberal-message films can mimic a Sarah Palin book: All out nonsense. A misstep by director Fernando Meirelles (“City of God”). C+

Nine (2009)

The new musical “Nine” ought to be Oscar bound. It’s certainly pitched that way. We have “Chicago” director Rob Marshall at the helm, with (deceased) Oscar-winner Anthony Mangella on co-writing duties. Oscar god Harvey Weinstein produces. The cast? Daniel Day-Lewis, Nicole Kidman, Penelope Cruz, Judi Dench, Kate Hudson, Sophia Loren and Marion Cotillard. It's too much. Seriously. Day-Lewis is Fellini-inspired Italian film director Guido Contini who is fretting over his wife (Cotillard), smothered by his mistress (Cruz), hot for his star (Kidman), dreamy for his first crush (Fergie from Black-Eyed Peas) and stalked by a reporter (Hudson). His life and ninth film are falling apart ala “A Serious Man.” I loved the frantic professor in that gem of a film, but Guido is a whiny bore in an over-blown film that's also often boring. Many of the lyrics grind with elementary rhymes and word play, and an out-classed DDL only gets two minor songs that are bulldozed by his co-stars (Hudson dazzles). Nine? More like a 5. C+

Up in the Air (2009)

“Up in the Air” may not quite be the best movie of 2009, but it is the best movie about 2009. Director Jason Reitman, fresh off “Thank You for Smoking” and “Juno,” delivers a dark comedy/drama/satire martini that burns deeper and harder than his two previous efforts combined by showing just how far off course America has become. Its witty banter is the floating olive.

George Clooney – never better, and that’s saying a lot – plays Ryan Bingham, a professional hatchet man. He doesn’t lob off heads as in “Sleepy Hollow.” He destroys the livelihoods and jobs of thousands of Americans year in/year out. He works for an Omaha- based company that is hired by other companies that don’t have the balls to lay-off their own employees in person. Hellish? Hardly. For Ryan, no greater joy comes from swiping a hotel access key card or packing a suitcase. Well, there is one: His own voice. Ryan is an inspiration speaker who encourages his audiences to ditch homes, cars, family albums, friends and family itself. They weigh you down, he says. And if you’re slowed by weight, you die.

It’s apparent from the start that Ryan is due for a wake-up call not given by the front desk. This comes in the guise of two women: A lover and a potential protégé. The first is a fellow air travel addict played by Vera Farmiga (“The Departed”). Her Alex tells Ryan, “I’m you, but with a vagina.” The second is a young up-and-comer (Anna Kendrick) at the Omaha office that has a grand idea: Why not fire people on Web cam. If it saves money, it must be good. Ryan makes it his mission to teach this woman the ropes and save his own “life” (job) as he knows it.

It’s a double joke that the company is headquartered in Omaha. It’s the heart of America, and yet hell for anyone with a love of fast, large cities. (Can you blame Ryan for never wanting to remain there?) But that’s not the film’s clincher. In a documentary-like move Reitman has ordinary Americans who really have lost their jobs appear on screen to vent, yell and weep.

“Up in the Air” is shot full of hot blood, depicting a country that marks success by the bottom line and stock prices, where brand loyalty has become a full religion. That every character, line, joke and shock is rendered perfectly is a treat. That Clooney makes Ryan actually likable and a person to root for … well, I can only say “wow.” So, wow.

Stay for the end credits: A laid-off man contributed a song – recorded on an old cassette player (you can hear the beautiful hiss) – about the pain of losing a job and being lost “Up in the Air.” Bitter, angry and hopeful, the song is like a second martini to knock you flat. A