The Proposition (2006)

Nick Cave – a god of soul-wracking rock n’ roll from Down Under – writes a nightmarish 1880s Australian Outback take on “Heart of Darkness” with “The Proposition.” This is a savagely violent film about a redemptive killer named Charlie Burns (Guy Pearce) sent on a long journey to kill his older, gang/cult-forming brother (Danny Houston) in order to save his younger sibling (Richard Wilson) from execution. The man who sends Charlie on the journey is a local police captain (Ray Winstone) who is determined to tame the desert land he barely contemplates. The captain’s young wife (Emily Watson) is slowly losing her senses. John Hillcoat’s hit is a brilliant film, a tale of an evil man who has hit bottom and must kill his own blood to find a sliver of redemption. It’s no small note that the Europeans here declare the Aboriginal inhabitants as savages and pulverize the population with ungodly precision. This is a grisly world indeed. A jailhouse whipping of the naïve Burns boy rivals any scene in “The Passion of the Christ.” Pearce's (“L.A. Confidential”) career has never matched his talents, but this film does. A

Highlander (1986)

“Highlander” is a freakish 1980s fantasy action flick turned cult hit. It is absolute cheese, funny in all the wrong places. Queen provides the rock opera music score. To a film with sword fights. The casting alone is mind-boggling. Dig it: French actor Christopher Lambert plays Scotsman Connor McCloud, a 16th century warrior who rises from the dead after battle. Banished as a devil of sorts, he eventually learns of his status as an Immortal from an Egyptian-born Spaniard played by Scotsman Sean Connery, wearing red pajamas and eye liner. That’s not a misprint. Russell Mulcahy directs, and Clancy Brown – all razor-wire voice, and bug eyes – is the Immortal villain. Much of the film takes place in 1980s New York. It’s a sloppy film, with hokey macho dialogue, crap cinematography and strobe light editing. But damn if it isn’t ridiculously fun when the action swings, with sword battles that play like killer video games back when Atari was still cool. Lambert does well. Connery is an acting disaster run over by a fashion train. I think his character inspired Johnny Depp’s Captain Jack. B-

Donnie Darko (2001)

I finally caught up with “Donnie Darko,” a cult-hit film that vibes and jolts like a David Lynch film made for the teen set. It’s an un-even film, prone to heavy-handed symbolism (a fired liberal teacher leaves her Catholic school employer, American flag in arms, and stumbles and nearly falls), but “Darko” has more on it’s mind than just booze, sex and rock n’ roll. And it has Katharine Ross, famous star of “The Graduate” and “Stepford Wives,” plus “Butch Cassidy.” Jake Gyllenhaal is Donnie, a troubled teen (he previously destroyed an empty home) smashing against parental authority, seeing a psychiatrist (Ross) as well as a man-sized bunny in a metal mask. Bunny says the world will end, soon. Director/writer Richard Kelly sets a lot of plates spinning, most successfully the one where the “crazy” teen may be the most sane, honest, person in the room. A brilliant take on real teens. Still, I got the feeling there was a good deal of footage and story on the cutting room floor. B

The Boondock Saints (1999)

In “The Boondock Saints,” two devout Christian brothers (Norman Reedus and Sean Patrick Flanery) believe themselves ordained by God to kill Boston gangsters, pervs and riff-raff. Their guide is a Z-grade ex-gangster stooge (David Della Rocco) who bears an unmistakable resemblance to Jesus. To further clarify, a dead ringer God appears as six-gun-strapped assassin (Billy Connolly). Director/writer Troy Duffy leaves no cross unturned in making his brothers into holy-roller Reservoir Dogs, to borrow from Tarantino. And Duffy does borrow, from Q.T., Scorsese and Woo in the most clichéd ways. Slow-mo jump shooting, anyone?

Vigilantism is an entire cathartic genre onto itself. Everyone has wanted to play Dirty Harry or Batman. It’s human nature. But Duffy’s celebratory right-wing beat off to guns and God is painful. His virulent hatred of gays and women is worse. Willem Dafoe – gagging from scenery chewing -- plays a self-loathing gay detective who prances, preens, cross dresses, and ridicules every homosexual who meets his path or bed. Every woman is a brick-faced lesbian, addict or whore. One woman has “Jesus” stick a gun in her face. Look, I love some mean films where mean people do mean stuff. "Romper Stomper" is one. But the sadism is framed. Not here. This is God's "work."

I’d give this cult hit film an “F,” but Duffy has one major card: The brothers. Reedus and Flanery brim with spark, laughter, anger and utter lifelong devotion; I rechecked the DVD box to see if the actors were brothers. They’re not. Ace actors. Bullocks film. Some part of me hoped it was all a satire of male bravado. But that takes wit. There's no wit here. D-

Top 10 Reasons Why I Love “Flash Gordon” (1980)

10. Hero Flash Gordon (Sam J. Jones) wears a T-Shirt with his own name written on it. In large red letters. Just in case he or we forget his identity.

9. The entire production, from backdrops to flowing gold capes and that Sherwood Forrest planet, looks like a 1940s Technicolor Errol Flynn adventure film, rolled up in a well-read comic book, doused in LSD, and smoked by Salvador Dali.

8. Anytime Timothy Dalton (a future James Bond) gets to play a piss ant, there will be scenery chewing genius. No Brit does hissy fit better. (See “Hot Fuzz” for further clarification.)

7. Only this British/Italian production could get away with so much sexual banter in a children’s film. It’s like an outer space-set child's production of “Rocky Horror Picture Show.” With half-naked birdmen.

6. The delirious soundtrack by Queen. “Flash! Ah-ha! Savior of the universe!” … “Flash! Ah-ha! He’s a miracle!” The best rock-opera comic-book film score ever written.

5. Scenes like this: A co-pilot asks Flash for an autograph for his “son,” Buzz, before immediately being called “Buzz” by the pilot. Also, the across-the-galaxy telepathic scene where Flash, being seduced by an evil princess, tells his new girlfriend (Melody Anderson) to “hang up.” This is comedy done right.

4. As the titular hero, Jones is a block of lifeless granite. No expression. No blinking. And that flat, dull voice of his that sounds dubbed by another guy altogether? It was dubbed by another guy. I love super hero movies where the filmmakers beg you to root for …

3. The villain. Max Von Sydow, who previously played Jesus (“The Greatest Story Ever Told”) and a doomed priest (“The Exorcist”), has never been so good at being this bad as Emperor Ming. (“Are your men on the right pills? Maybe you should execute their trainer.”) Hail Ming!

2. The climatic wedding scene. The best scene in the film, and possibly funnier than the nuptials in “The Princess Bride.” Certainly more fatal. Who knew evil alien space emperors had priests on hand?

1. From the opening credits to “The End?,” this flick strives to be wonderfully, spectacularly, laugh-out-loud, jaw-dropping bad. And it does so brilliantly. Children get a perfect big-screen production of an adventure comic book come to life. Adults get a riotous sex comedy with not a little S&M tossed in. Both get silly action. It’d almost all be offensive, but it’s just too funny. For Greatest Bad Movies of All Time, “Flash Gordon” is the savior of my movie universe. A