Fantastic Four (2005)

“Fantastic Four” is a sucker punch to the face and heart of every true four-color-ink-for-blood comic book geek who knew growing up that the exploits of Mr. Fantastic, Invisible Woman, Human Torch, and the Thing, was the coolest monthly read: A blood-and-marriage family of super-powered heroes with screw-loose hang-ups and arch-enemies. At least the plot follows the book. Five astronaut-types are blasted with cosmic rays while on a science mission, each person spouting outsize powers close fit to their personality: The ability to contort one’s body into any shape, invisibility, control of fire, and a moving, raging man of stone. The fifth wheel is the billionaire boss Victor Von Doom, destined to go evil with a name like that, except he turns into a metallic maniac, not a giant shitting asshole. Here’s a movie with 50 years of comic history as resource and director Tim Story (“Taxi”) kills it from the start. Bland, listless, with no sense of wonder, horror, or the fantastic. The cast is dull with Ioan Gruffudd as Mr. Fantastic and Julian McMahon as Dr. Doom. Questions linger: Would I notice had they switched roles midway through? Not likely. C-

Margaret (2011)

There’s a book yet to be written about the making of “Margaret,” a drama about a Manhattan teen (Anna Paquin) who witnesses, and is undeniably partially responsible for, a NYC bus accident that leaves a woman dead. Seventeen, naïve, and obsessed with all things teen girls are -- clothes, thinking of college, avoiding some boys and chasing others –- the incident throws her world into frantic discord. The more she thinks she’s trying to help, the deeper she sinks, and more conflicted she becomes about morality, adults, the justice system, and what constitutes “fairness.” The film was shot back in 2005 with a 2006 release date penned in, but various woes and legal stops finally landed “Margaret” in a few U.S. cinemas in late 2011. Director/writer Kenneth Longergan has made one hell of a film so wide, big, dark, and brilliant –- as is New York -– multiple viewings are required. It’s a sprawling majestic novel on film, with Paquin again proving her amazing talent from “Piano.” The film runs 2 hours 30 minutes. A longer cut played on one NYC screen in 2012, and I have it on DVD now. I expect it to be on my 2012 Top 10 List. A

Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (2005)

I deeply love the “Wallace & Gromit” half-hour shorts. The claymation gems star an oblivious English inventor (Wallace, voiced by Peter Sallis) and his faithful dog (Gromit, who does not speak). In the full-length “Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit,” our heroes are hired protectors of vegetable gardens, grabbing up thieving bunnies and … keeping them safe. It’s best not to explain too much, but soon a giant rabbit – taller than any man – is grabbing up cabbages, carrots and zucchini. The plot and numerous puns are preschool simple. We get zero cynicism. It features dozens of winks at monster classics such as “The Wolfman.” This is just a film to look at and just love, watching for trademark thumbprints, the sign of joy, art and storytelling -- all from master/co-director Nick Park. Big name talents join the fun, with Helena Bonham Carter and Ralph Fiennes on voice duty. A

Sky High (2005)

Kurt Russell is one of film’s most under-used comics. In “Sky High,” he plays an uptight superhero living in suburban America – husband, father and real estate agent. His wife (Kelly Preston) also is a super hero, but the kid (Michael Angarano)? Late bloomer. The film focuses on the son as he starts 9th grade, goes girl crazy and tries to get his Superman on. This is pure Disney, but also a sly satire on every 1980s teen flick ever made and all those serious comic book movies. Russell is just a hoot, wearing his costume around the house, generally acting like a serious fool. The plot is silly, but great kid fun, and Linda Carter – TV’s “Wonder Woman” – passes gags around with Steve Carell, Bruce Campbell and Dave Foley. The comic book panel cinematography works here like a charm, an abysmal effort in most other capes and makeup efforts. B+

King Kong (2005)

Fresh from the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy, Peter Jackson remade “King Kong.” What a tall order. The 1933 Big Ape in the Big Apple classic is still a great joy despite its painfully awkward racism. (Let’s forget the 1970s remake ever existed.) This has the best attributes of the original -- spectacular visuals, a dame, a guy and strange creatures galore -– with creepier tones and nice a bit of satire.

The plot is the same: American peeps on a boat land on an island forgotten by time, encounter ancient natives and creatures galore, meet King Kong -- the ape the size of a cathedral -– and decide to bring him back to NYC. Those creatures, by the way, are dinosaurs that would kick the evolution out of the dino’s in “Jurassic Park.” A fight between Kong and three T-Rexes remains a powerhouse CGI show. (Nothing will ever top that awkward, creepy, fuzzy movement of the 1933 Kong in physical model form. I dig stop-motion more than any other animated format.)

Naomi Watts and Adrien Brody play the dame and guy; she a novice actress, he a left-wing playwright who’s having a career crisis. Both are clearly enjoying the uncommented upon wink-wink casting. See, Kyle Chandler plays a limp, narcissistic square-jawed WASP against Brody’s cool-under-pressure Jewish New Yorker. Seventy years ago, those roles would be reversed and offensively so. As a zany, greedy film director, Jack Black is himself, all ironic tics and eye-rolls. As well, Jackson can’t resist the tired cliché of having the only black character of significance sacrifice himself for his pals. Sigh.

Also, Jackson thinks longer is better, and pushes his “Kong” to a long three hours – nearly twice the length of the irreplaceable original. It’s monster big. This length includes trite discussions on “Heart of Darkness” and Great Depression economic commentary, all serious Debbie Downers. An hour could be deleted easily. That said, as with many a James Cameron film, this is damn fine cinematic eye and ear candy. B+

A History of Violence (2005)

David Cronenberg returns to his seemingly favorite theme of fraternal rivalry in “A History of Violence.” Here, a small-town diner owner Tom (Viggo Mortensen) kills with scary precision two psychotic murderers – possibly father and son -- who mean harm. Tom, injured in the melee, becomes a national hero. TV news crews visit. So does a black car with a grisly-scarred face thug (Ed Harris, never creepier) in the backseat. Creepy Ed says Tom ain’t Tom, he’s Philly mob man Joey, and brother Richie (William Hurt) wants him back in -- irony alert -- The City of Brotherly Love. Shockingly violent, critics hailed this as some mirror of American values. That’s a bit too deep. This is about family, brothers and fathers and sons, and the cold stone fact that if one is bred in violence, he will never, ever, escape it. History always repeats itself. Where ever you are. The wife’s (Mario Bella) horror and then carnal desire of her violent hubby is raw, as is the son, who learns that a fist and a gun will get you further than a book and a joke. Fascinating throughout, the final silent scene is a beaut. A

Zathura: A Space Adventure (2005)

Jon Favreau loves children. He also gets them. In “Zathura: A Space Adventure” – a sci-fi kid comedy from the creators of “Jumanji” – two brothers, ages 6 and 10, fight, bicker, shout all day, and butcher the word “cryogenic.” In other words, they are perfectly childish. The plot: The brothers stumble across a Sputnik-era board game at their divorced dad’s house. They turn a game-piece key, and – poof! - the house is in outer space. Yes, this is “Jumanji in Space.” But it’s better than “Jumanji,” despite story points that don’t gel. Favreau – a far better, more imaginative director than an actor -- never panders to his on-screen youngsters, or those in the audience. He happily swims in the mind of a fifth-grader, tossing in four-eyed goats during a wonderful silly-scary lizard alien encounter. “Twilight” sulk queen Kristin Stewart is funny as the teen sister. B+

The Great Raid (2005)

How can an American man not love “The Great Raid”? It’s the dramatic retelling of U.S. troops leading a spectacular assault on a cruel POW camp run by the Japanese during World War II. The mission: Save 500+ Americans inside. It has sacrifice, valor, tragic death and American flags waving high and proud. It’s even filmed in that honey-gold hue that makes everyone think, “Them sure was the days,” even if they weren’t around for them days, and the reality that those days sucked. But the film’s a loss. Directed by John Dahl, “Raid” is as riveting as a high school textbook. The plot splits into three stories that connect with each other, but never the audience: The troops (led by Benjamin Bratt and James Franco), the suffering POWs (led by Joseph Fiennes) and the nearby resistance fighters (led by Connie Nielsen) all play like an NBC Miniseries from 1985. Edited to ribbons. Only the end credits provide spark as footage from the real battle’s aftermath plays. The rest is like a forced march. Franco’s narration is mind-numbing. C

Howl’s Moving Castle (2005)

The 2005 release “Howl’s Moving Castle” is my third Hayao Miyazaki film in as many months, and it’s as out-of-this-world magical as its sister films (“Spirited Away“ and “Ponyo”). A girl who works in her late father’s hat shop encounters in a single day a kindly but eccentric wizard named Howl and a self-fawning, cruel witch. The former saves Sophie’s life, while the latter sets a spell that turns lass into old lady. The stricken Sophie flees home, only to encounter the titular structure, a (literally) roaming mishmash of dozens of castles, houses and cottages. "Howl" casts its own spell with a surreal plot, shifting character loyalties and -- hands down -- some of the best animation I’ve ever laid eyes on. Miyazaki’s films have become my favorite film fantasy outlets of recent, and “Howl” delivers: The sites, images and many places see here have never been done before. The American dub has Christian Bale as Howl, Emily Mortimer as (young) Sophie and Billy Crystal as a fireplace demon. The last thankfully low key. A

Capote (2005)

Watching “Capote” is almost dizzying: It’s a film based on a nonfiction book that documents Truman Capote’s research and writing of the ground-breaking nonfiction book “In Cold Blood,” which was later turned into a celebrated 1960s film. The twist here: Not only was a Kansas farm family butchered in cold blood for roughly $50, but Capote (Philip Seymour Hoffman) reported on the initial crimes and then manipulated the subsequent trials to his own liking, in (ice) cold blood. Capote is played as the ultimate self-centered artist: Everything and everyone is in service to his convenience. When he sees the farm family bodies in their coffins, the moment of horror is about his reaction; after he gets the killers new trials, he panics that he won’t have a solid ending by deadline; he scoffs at the success of friend/co-researcher Harper Lee’s “To Kill a Mockingbird.” This is a fascinating, layered tale of a man who, biblical cliché alert, loses his soul to the gain the world (or the world’s admiration) and seems to realize it. Or does he? That Hoffman manages to not only humanize Capote, but make him a victim of his own ego is a wonder. A-

2005: Best and Worst

Best
1. A History of Violence
2. Howl's Moving Castle
3. Murderball
4. Hustle & Flow
5. The Constant Gardener
6. Brokeback Mountain
7. Batman Begins
8. Layer Cake
9. Good Night. And, Good Luck
10. Pride and Prejudice

Worst
5. The Producers
4. Lord of War
3. Bewitched
2. Domino
1. Hide and Seek