I have a love/hate thing with the Wachowski
siblings Andy and Lana (ne Larry). “Matrix”? One of the best action films
ever. Sequels? Crap. “Cloud Atlas”? An epic too messy to land, but I loved the
struggle. Now comes “Jupiter Ascending,” a sci-fi jumble of storyboards turned
into overdone CGI fireworks that never spark. The Wachowskis think they have
something as profound as “Dune” on their hands. Reality: This is nothing more
than a “Flash Gordon” retread, complete with the space-man hero (Channing
Tatum) crashing through a cathedral ceiling to save the damsel (Mina Kunis)
from marrying some wicked creep. And it’s not even funny. Tatum’s hero is a half-man/half-dog
soldier, while Kunis plays a janitor who is the reincarnated clone of a dead
space queen. When Tatum’s hero tells Jones she *owns* Earth, literally, our gal gawks and
wonders if he *loves* her. Is she 14? Mentally afflicted? Sean Bean sulks
about, bored. Eddie Redmayne -– hot off “Theory of Everything” –- fly spits everywhere, over-acting. Nonsensical, edited to ribbons -– continuity errors
abound -– and insanely overly complicated, I should have taken the blue pill. D
Monday, July 27, 2015
Jupiter Ascending (2015)
Labels:
2015,
CGI,
Channing Tatum,
earth,
Eddie Redmayne,
janitor,
Mina Kunis,
sci-fi,
Wachowskis,
worst
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment