Jonah Hex (2010)

Remember when bad comic book movies were ironically enjoyable? “Jonah Hex” –- a comic book western about a once-dead Civil War veteran (Josh Brolin) with half a charred face out to kill the men who slaughtered his family, whilst saving the U.S. of A. –- is all bad. It’s 80 minutes of dirty dusty deadly dull action edited by a Guillotine blade, witless dialogue and random pacing, with at least 20 minutes of repeated scenes and pointless dream sequences colored by the editors of "Highlights." Rumor mills say four directors and several more writers worked on “Hex.” The cracks show. The film is cursed. The idea is fascinating -– “The Outlaw Josey Wales” meets “Phantom of the Opera” meets Lazarus, a Civil War Batman on a horse. The payout is DOA. Brolin's Hex is a Clint Eastwood type who talks like Karl from “Sling Blade.” Meghan Fox plays a whore with such crap acting, it insults whores. The final nail: The most awkward exchange about slavery between a white man and a black man ever put to film. An ugly, nasty disaster. F