Pixels (2015)

“Pixels” has a ridiculously great premise that vibes perfect 1980s action/comedy: Aliens attack Earth using as weapons massive “live” incarnations of Atari’s best video games: Pac-Man, Centipede, Tetris, etc. Damn the result. Look, Director Chris Columbus (“Harry Potter” 1 and 2) handles the big VFX scenes with polish: Pac-Man tearing through NYC is too cool and when a soldier is de-pixelated, it scares like classic “Doctor Who." But away from the action, Pixels dies. A dead-eyed Adam Sandler plays an ex-arcade-child-king now miserable, but still chummy with his dork childhood pal (boring Kevin James), now the worst U.S. president ever. Assholes, both. A big joke: Sandler insults a White House intern by calling him “Blue Lagoon.” Because the guy has curly blond hair. I sat blinking. How old is that joke? Sandler and James blunder their way into saving Earth. This Earth doesn't deserve it. The trailer promised a celebration of us 1980s gamers. The movie flogs us as infants incapable of adult decisions. Like hygiene. Or parenting. Fuck every person involved. Last miserable kick: The sexism astounds. When another arcade dork (Josh Gad) sees his dream woman come to life, she cannot speak. Only smile and obey. Offensive. C-

Wreck-It Ralph (2012)

Walt Disney’s “Wreck-It Ralph” takes a nod and a rip from Pixar gem “Toy Story” and takes us inside the world of arcade games, where characters see the slide of a quarter as a call to work, and party when no one is looking. Oh, flattery. Story: Ralph (John C. Reilly) is the human wrecking ball villain of the 1980s game “Fix It Felix Jr.,” but he longs to be the hero. Ralph commits a no-no and crosses wires for his chance at glory, first to a shoot-’em-up alien game, then over to a racing game called “Sugar Rush.” Much mayhem ensues as Ralph wrecks. He can’t help himself. Now, this is not Pixar. It’s run-of-the-mill Disney. So, the score already is lower. The wit and heart, too. But this is flat-out great fun. The “Felix” game is so exactly rendered Atari retro-style, the characters blink when they move, I thought it was a real title from 30 years ago. It’s not. That and the ridiculously hilarious side characters (Alan Tudyk as a kooky king) make me game to play again. The myriad shrill corporate promos … not so much. B+