Priest (2011)

Paul Bettany says he is an atheist. Yet the man seems obsessed with God. Overtly so. He played an outcast priest in “Reckoning,” an albino monk assassin (!!) in “Da Vinci Code,” a devout and troubled Charles Darwin in “Creation,” and a vengeful angel of God in “Legion.” In “Priest,” he scowls as a ninja clergymen battling vampires. Priests slicing vampires with swords! Makes sense. This ought to rock. But it’s a dull flick with “Matrix” fight scenes leftover from 1999, and art direction that marries blown-out white dessert to “Blade Runner” cityscapes. It’s all ugly, and PG-13 safe. The sullen Bettany – so cool in “Master and Commander” – is far less interesting than Karl Urban channeling classic Eastwood as the vamp leader or Christopher Plummer channeling a Republican-type giddy on church-state rule. The plot – the Priest must save his kidnapped niece – is pure “Searchers,” but the only thing found is another sinkhole franchise launcher going nowhere. And it was all in 3-D in theaters. Lord have mercy. C-

Legion (2010)

God takes a beating in “Legion,” an End of Days thriller that turns the Creator’s angels into metal-winged warriors from “Gladiator,” but with a penchant for machine guns. Paul Bettany plays Michael, God’s bad-ass angel who is going rouge to protect the human race after sourpuss God calls quits and orders killer angel Gabriel (Kevin Durand) to destroy humanity. The remaining humans are led by Dennis Quaid and bottomed out by some chick whose name I didn’t catch as the girl carrying the savior of the human race in her belly. See the “Terminator” reference? No clichés remains unturned as we get redemption galore and two black guys sacrificing themselves for the greater good. The makeup effects rocked, and I just dug wall-crawling demon granny. Bettany is a commanding screen presence, as always. What he’s doing in this brainless flick with a limp ending God only knows. If He cares. C

Creation (2010)

“Creation” is an ironic title for a drama about Charles Darwin's struggle to bring “On the Origin of Species” to life. If only the product were half as smart. Instead it makes the most bone-headed dramatic error I've seen in years. Early in this Jon Amiel-directed film, Darwin (Paul Bettany) is in his study, speaking to his cherubic oldest daughter while his wife (Jennifer Connelly) busies herself elsewhere. It’s supposed to be humanizing, until one realizes there is no daughter. She’s dead. Darwin is talking to a ghost, a figment of his sickened mind. As in “A Beautiful Mind,” which co-starred none other than Bettany and Connelly. What the hell were the filmmakers thinking? What works for one genius, works for all? Darwin’s brilliant work is so controversial that 150 years later it still invites scorn and censorship (hello, Texas!), yet the filmmakers don't seem to think this is enough drama. Order up some ghosts! Yes, there are fine scenes about the war between fact and faith, but Darwin's critics must be rejoicing: They have a film that shows the scientist as an unbalanced mad man, a guy so ill-fitted to survival he can’t even hold a quill. Kill God? “Creation” kills free thought. D+

Inkheart (2009)

In "Inkheart," Brandon Fraser plays Mo Folchart, an American bookbinder living in Europe who has the gift of a Silvertongue -- any book he reads aloud comes to true live when he reads it. For instance, reading the "The Wizard of Oz" will put into the real world a tornado or flying monkeys. (I can only guess what reading "The Story of O" will do.) Long story short, Folchart's life has been marred by a fantasy book titled "Inkheart": his wife has disappeared into it, and multiple characters have escaped from it, and they terrorize Mo. Among the escapees is Dustfinger (Paul Bettany), a juggler with powers of fire, and Capricorn (Andy Serkis), a power mad villain who seeks world domination. The film is silly and not always consistent, but it's also surpassing fun in vein with 1980s romp "Willow." Even the camera work suggests it. I also love the makeup effects throughout the film -- many characters have ink lettering literally covering their skin as they are not perfectly brought to life. B