Friday, February 1, 2013
Snow White and the Huntsmen (2012)
Irony
has a queen: “Twilight” Sulk Queen Kristen Stewart plays a
woman more fare than Charlize Theron in “Snow White and The Huntsman.” The former is, of course, the orphaned princess whose life
is ruined by her evil step-momma (Theron). This version skews toward
horror with director Rupert Sanders laying on the foreboding atmosphere thick
as Tim Burton in “Sleepy Hollow,” before it jumps into a WTF war film of castle
storming. Snow White as Aragorn? Yep. Every time my cinematic soul jumped at a
great visual or beloved actor –- Bob Hoskins! –- it was dashed by the
banality of ripped ideas from other movies. A beefcake love triangle for our
heroine, with the Huntsman (Chris Hemsworth) versus a prince (Sam Clafin) begs
the question: Who thought that was a good idea? Neither man sparkles in
sunlight. Theron oozes darkest evil, roaring over everyone as a sickly twisted
feminist from hell. Best bit: The magic mirror on the wall is merely a warped
delusion of her sick mind. Stewart is uninspiring and flat, her
suddenly-a-bad-ass-warrior let’s-kick-ass “Braveheart” speech is a snicker.
The second Snow White dud of 2012. C-
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