Has
there ever been a fantasy franchise with such a genius hook more crapped from
the beginning than “Highlander”? I love the premise: A 16th century Scottish
warrior is killed in battle, but arises from the grave whole and healed for he is
Immortal, an ubermensch race known only to their own kind. They are determined
to kill one another until only one is left.
In the original, hero Connor
McCloud (Christopher Lambert) learns of his powers, lives for centuries,
relocates to New York, and finally must battle Clancy Brown as Kurgan, which means
He Who Cannot Enunciate.
The plot is good, but the cheap dialogue and director
Russell Mulcahy’s relentlessly vulgar metal-band rock video antics are blinding.
This bargain-bin Michael Bay never lets his actors or story breathe being too
busy shattering glass and blowing up water. Sean Connery as an
Egyptian-turned-Spaniard mentor living in Scotland is some kind of painful joke,
and the man is dressed like a bed pillow. But it’s all watchable.
Not so DOA sequel
“Quickening,” a cinematic cluster-fuck from the start that rewrites the Immortals
as time-traveling aliens in a story too baffling to explain. Michael Ironside
looks ashamed as the villain.
Original: C+
The sequel: F
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