Quiz Show (1994)

Directed by Robert Redford and penned by Paul Attanasio, “Quiz Show” details the “TV is God” bubble pop that no one – or not enough people – ever heard. On the well-loved 1950s game show “Twenty-One,” a guy named Herbie Stempel (John Turturro) is winning night after night. But his nerdy, Jewish-by-way-of-Queens persona doesn’t jive for advertisers. Herb is forced out. Enter Charles Van Doren (Ralph Fiennes), a Columbia University instructor from a dreamy New England family and with movie-star looks to boot. “Quiz Show” details how this show and these guys came crashing down to earth, because it’s all fake. Redford spins many plates – TV ethics, education, bigotry, the quest to surpass one’s father, and pure corruption of power -- and does so perfectly. The 1950s have rarely been re-created with such loving detail and rhythm, and with such a steely eye on the façade of America as the pillar of truth and success, operated by men who only want money and fame. Best scene: At tale’s end, Stempel looks on with glee and then horror as Van Doren is ripped to shreds, with his parents watching helpless, by angry reporters. Redford’s view of truth on television is timeless. A

A Beautiful Mind (2001)

Ron Howard’s “A Beautiful Mind” is another good, but not great, film that somehow landed a bookcase full of Academy Awards. I can see it: It’s a harsh, but feel-good movie about a genius math professor (Russell Crowe) married to a stunning beauty (Jennifer Connelly), but thrown under the train of life by a horrific disease (Schizophrenia). Fictionalizing the complicated, not-romantic biography, “Mind” follows socially inept John Nash, the guy under the train who becomes lost to paranoia, visions and delusions of grandeur – that he, Nash, is a top secret Cold War spy. The cast is perfect, especially Crowe, who preens with striking intelligence in one scene and drowns in utter confusion and despondency during the next. Yet, the screenplay (by Akiva Goldsman) gets lost in sentimentality (a climatic speech, a heart-to-heart talk with open palms). As well, it drags out the delusion scenes long past credibility, and makes them too literal. Yet, it’s rarely dull, always looking deep into the eyes of its actors. It’s not high art. It was made as Oscar bait and succeeded. B

The Musketeer (2001)

“The Musketeer” pitches Dumas’ famous story as the gritty tale of a novice hero (Justin Chambers of “Grey’s Anatomy”) who must spur the outlawed, drunken Musketeers back to French grandeur. I don’t have the will power to go further into detail. See, it takes a moron king to ruin Damas’ work, and director Peter Hyams (“Timecop”) excels at the challenge. Action scenes are shot haphazardly and, in many cases, in utter darkness. Tim Roth, listlessly marching through his umpteenth psycho role, is the most interesting actor on screen by default. That’s because everyone else, including three guys I don’t know as the most witless, drunken Musketeers ever imagined, are void of any personality. How’s this for a seller? Mena Suvari has top billing as a chambermaid. The film reeks like a nightly bowl she'd empty. F

Law Abiding Citizen (2009)

In “Law Abiding Citizen,” Gerard Butler plays Clyde Shelton, a family man who goes loopy nutty after the Jabba-fat prick who butchered his family cuts a deal with soulless Philly ADA Nick Rice (Jamie Foxx). Shelton doesn’t just grab a rifle for “Death Wish” or “Gran Torino” kills. He declares war on the entire city of Philadelphia, using his mad-dog engineering skills to chain-bomb cars and rig a cell phone to explode. Even for the often ugly genre of revenge films, “LAC” is grim entertainment. (The violence inflicted on women is astounding.) Director F. Gary Gray and his writers never give us anyone to even remotely root for older than 10. As Shelton and Rice diligently race to kill one another first, Butler and Foxx race to see who can suffocate their own charisma and acting talent fastest. A climatic shocker is so over-the-top ridiculous that even the characters mock disbelief. It’s never good when the filmmakers apologize for what they’ve served up while you’re still watching. Billy Penn atop City Hall needs to check his shoes. The muck is piled high. C-

The Lost Boys (1987)

It was vital to re-watch “The Lost Boys” in the wake of Corey Haim’s demise. Twenty-three years on, this teen comedy/vampire horror flick still holds up as a loose cult/camp favorite. And it’s directed by crap master Joel Schumacher, no less. The easy plot: Teens Sam (Haim) and Michael (Jason Patric) move with their single mom (Dianne Wiest) to a California coastal town haunted by vampires (led by a sneering Keifer Sutherland). It’s far from perfect, especially a red-tinted climax that seemed washed out on my first viewing and still does. But with lines such as, “My own brother (is) a … shit-sucking vampire. You wait 'till mom finds out, buddy!,” you’d have to be (un)dead not to chuckle huge and just enjoy. The violence is campy fun – all gushing blood and exploding body parts. Haim is a huge star here – even his geekiest kid moments shine with joy, discovery and charisma. (Feldman, too.) A brooding Patric channels James Dean, with a new taste for blood, not cars. And the music – still rocks huge. It’s one of the best soundtracks of the 1980s. But avoid the sequel – it’s a stake to the brain and heart. A-

Creation (2010)

“Creation” is an ironic title for a drama about Charles Darwin's struggle to bring “On the Origin of Species” to life. If only the product were half as smart. Instead it makes the most bone-headed dramatic error I've seen in years. Early in this Jon Amiel-directed film, Darwin (Paul Bettany) is in his study, speaking to his cherubic oldest daughter while his wife (Jennifer Connelly) busies herself elsewhere. It’s supposed to be humanizing, until one realizes there is no daughter. She’s dead. Darwin is talking to a ghost, a figment of his sickened mind. As in “A Beautiful Mind,” which co-starred none other than Bettany and Connelly. What the hell were the filmmakers thinking? What works for one genius, works for all? Darwin’s brilliant work is so controversial that 150 years later it still invites scorn and censorship (hello, Texas!), yet the filmmakers don't seem to think this is enough drama. Order up some ghosts! Yes, there are fine scenes about the war between fact and faith, but Darwin's critics must be rejoicing: They have a film that shows the scientist as an unbalanced mad man, a guy so ill-fitted to survival he can’t even hold a quill. Kill God? “Creation” kills free thought. D+

Zombieland and Dead Snow (2009)

The living dead ran amok inside my movie-soaked brain with a recent double feature. Grrr! Argh!

Jesse Eisenberg and Woody Harrelson play an unlikely zombie-hunting pair in “Zombieland,” the American cousin to the infinitely funnier rom-com-zom satire “Shaun of the Dead.” Eisenberg again siphons from previous innocent-geek roles in such films as “Adventureland,” matching only Michael Cerra in redundancy. Harrelson riffs heroically and quite knowingly on his “Natural Born Killers” psychopath. It’s a short, funny film that cracks on American culture targets from Twinkies to Hanna Montana, and features a stellar cameo from a beloved movie icon. B+

In “Dead Snow,” any wit is trounced by scatological outhouse sex, sick comedy and grisly gut-bursting violence. The plot: Student doctors head to the mountains of Norway for snow sports, drinking, light drugs and hard sex. Not planned for: An army of undead Nazi killers out for blood. Director Tommy Wirkola loves the visual of blood on snow -- eyeballs get squished, skulls are cracked open and entrails wrap around trees. It’s all so over-the-top gleefully, knowingly and illogically bloody bad – paying homage to “Evil Dead” and “Friday the 13th” – that Wirkola scores a guilty pleasure. B

A Single Man (2009)

Colin Firth is “A Single Man.” But not by choice. His George Falconer is a closeted English professor devastated by the death of his longtime companion. Unable to cope, George has decided on suicide. The film follows what is to be George’s final day, with flashbacks to happier times inserted throughout. Firth is wonderfully understated in the role of man who knows that he himself must play a role of cool and reserved, so as to not divulge his lifestyle in stiff 1962 America. This is the debut of fashion-star Tom Ford, and he uses the camera quite well, especially when George’s bleak outlook suddenly explodes with color upon seeing an object, or a person, that pleases him. Costume design and art direction are tops, if not over the top. (Even the wacky neighbor children appear to be hired from an L.A. modeling agency.) Julianne Moore oddly channels Ann Margaret from “Tommy” as she plays boozer Charley, a former, quick flame of George’s who foolishly thinks she has a chance. Minor grudges in a fine film about a man attempting to grief lost love in a world that doesn’t even recognize his love. Expect much sadness. B+

Shutter Island (2010)

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD. Proceed carefully.

Before "Shutter Island" began, an Old Spice commercial played on screen. It had some stud mocking average guys, telling women in the audience, "Look at me. Now look at your man. Look back at me. Now look back at your man." The gist of the commercial: Guy on screen is cool, suave and built. Flabby guy in the seat (that'd be me) next to the lady (Jenn!) is not. But, if I used Old Spice I could be like that.

Why am I talking about this goofy commercial in a film review? Hold on.

"Shutter Island" has been sold as the shocker film of 2010, a mind-twisting masterpiece from Martin Scorsese, starring his Gen X muse, Leonardo DiCaprio. The ads proclaim, "Did you guess the ending?" Umm, yeah, I did. Right away, actually. Then I had 2 hours 15 minutes to kill in my theater seat. And I wasn’t happy about it.

See, DiCaprio plays Teddy, a U.S. marshal who looks like he just stumbled off the red-eye flight from L.A. to Boston, having slept wrapped in a laundry sack in the luggage berth. His tie looks like a wet, dead goose around his neck, and his hat is crap. He looks homeless. As the 1954-set film opens, Teddy is on a ferry and meets his out-of-the-blue new partner, Chuck (Mark Ruffalo). The men are on their way to Shutter Island, a water-locked New England asylum for the criminally insane, to investigate the apparent escape of a child murderess. The men briefly discuss the case. Then Chuck calls Teddy "boss." Boss. And I knew the whole film. In three minutes.

Why? (OK, I'm getting to my Old Spice point now.)

Ladies, gents, Look at Ruffalo. Look at DiCaprio. Look back at Ruffalo. Now look back at DiCaprio. Now look at me. In what reality would Ruffalo ever call DiCaprio "boss"? Other than by sarcasm or to make DiCaprio think he's the "boss." See, Ruffalo's Chuck is cool, suave and built, with a tie so sharp it could slice bread. Ruffalo's Chuck is older, dapper, shines wisdom and could own Leo's Teddy. Teddy is not Chuck’s boss. Not by a mile. And Chuck would never call Teddy such.

A lot of critics and movie fans love "Shutter" because it's directed by SCORSESE and stars DICAPRIO, that is, the greatest living American film director and the best American actor of Generation X. Not me. This film, all moods and rain and pounding, dread-filled music, is a disappointment. Even with the Hitchcock themes and Euro-horror nods and rogues gallery of former movie villains and serial killers as red-herring co-stars (Ben Kingsley, Max Von Sydow, Jackie Earle Haley, John Carroll Lynch and Ted Levine among them) the movie fails to provide goose bumps.

As I said, Teddy and Chuck are out to find a deranged female patient who mysteriously vanished from her high-security cell. The men attempt to solve the how, where and why, as the creepy nice higher-ups who run the rock island (Von Sydow and Kingsley) do everything they can to hinder the case. Meanwhile, touchy, twitchy Teddy is having nightmares about his dead wife (Michele Williams) and his WWII Army days when he helped liberate a Nazi death camp. Not ironically, Teddy knows two things: His dead wife's killer is on the island and the goons running the place are doing brain experiments, because they’re Nazis. Or Commies. (I can’t recall). Teddy knows people know things, and he wants to save the day and be the hero. The boss. See?

Scorsese is a brilliant director, and he places scenes in dark, dank, cave-like cells with panache, and the nightmare sequences have this crazy feel that’s just left of a Dali painting come to life. The full cast is marvelous, with awesome people like Levine ("The Silence of the Lambs") showing up to steal the film.

So it's not all bad. This all would be mostly passable, even with me knowing the big shocker secret.

But "Shutter" also is a cumbersome, heavy-handed ride filled with loooong scenes of people talking about this guy they met who knows this other guy who knows a secret. At one point, Kingsley goes all Glenn Beck-drooling mad and whips out a freakin' diagram (!) for Teddy (that is, us) explaining names. At that point, I didn’t care. And I don't care if Internet bloggers point out a last-minute, blink-and-you-miss-it shocker. So there. (I imagine reading the Dennis Lehane novel that inspired this film is infinitely more interesting, or so I hope.)

If this were an M. Night Shyamalan film with Bruce Willis, I'd be OK. My expectations would be lower. But Scorsese, he of "Goodfellas" and "Cape Fear," and DiCaprio, with Scorsese's "Gangs of New York" and "Aviator" behind him? Sorry. "Shutter" is a massive letdown. Not even Old Spice can make this flabby bird into a stud. (See how I wrapped around to that left-field beginning?) C

The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 (2009)

“The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3” is a remake of a remake of a film from a well-known book. Nothing new expected going in. And that's OK. Cause, forget the plot mechanics of a NYC subway car commanded by bad guys looking for $$$. This film exists for one reason -- so director Tony Scott can pit John Travolta (cat on the ceiling villain) against Denzel Washington (cool under fire Every Man) against each other, first over radios, then face-to-face. And this trick pays off. "Pelham" skates around the clichés that doom most action pics -- the blowhard cops, the pretentious reporter, the politico out for himself, and other useless crap filler. Most, not all. We’re still talking chasing cabs by foot, crashes, conspiracies and guns blazing. Scott again directs with a roving camera hooked to a jack hammer, and spends way too long cutting from the main drama to the over-excited delivery of the loot, but the real bang for my Netflix fee came from the Travolta-Washington rat-a-tat-tat banter. B

The Informant! (2009)

A nerdy executive at an American food/chemical corporation hits up the FBI with a doozie offering: He will be the fed’s star whistleblower spy against his corrupt, price-fixing employer. PBS drama? Not with Steven Soderbergh (the “Ocean’s” films) at the helm and Matt Damon in the lead. “The Informant!” is side-splitting funny, more twisty than “Shutter Island” ever hoped to be, and has the most unreliable narrator since Kevin Spacey played a man named Verbal. See, every word out of Mark Whitacre’s mouth is a lie. He is compulsive and pathological. Yet, Mark sees himself as conspiracy victim (he quotes Crichton and Grisham) and a spy, specifically, Agent 0014 (“I’m twice as smart as James Bond”). But he’s more 0000. He narrates aloud on his hidden wire and never listens to anyone except the voice in his head. And he’s stealing an untold fortune from his employer. And, yet, the genius of this film is that Matt Damon makes you want to believe this guy. Damon is Tom Hanks with an Eagle Scout badge. It's part of the fun: Every time Mark’s lies crumble, it’s a shock. Damon is hilarious, without ever slipping a wink, perfectly straight to Soderbergh’s tongue-in-cheek direction and the groovy, giddy score. A-

In the Loop (2009)

Only the British could produce a satire about the build-up to the Iraq War as acidic, vulgar, bullet-paced and laugh-out-loud funny as “In the Loop,” all while remaining as fiercely smart as it is sharp. Filmed in the “you are there” style of “The Office,” this gem nails everything that the American-made “War Inc.” missed. We follow semi-higher-ups in the British and American governments (including Tom Hollander, James Gandolfini, Mimi Kennedy and an all-out-for-blood Peter Capaldi as PR handler from hell Malcolm Tucker) as they do everything within their power and beyond to either avoid a questionable war in the Middle East or dive right in whilst forking over the other guy, and stand (stoop?) tall. Puns, politics, petty differences and grudges, and missed cues mesmerize. I can’t pin one favorite scene, but when Capaldi’s Tucker dismisses an assistant as “Ron Weasley” and belittles a way-young White House assistant, blood is drawn. “War Inc.” insulted troops, had a pop princess sideshow, and had grown men fighting in the rear of a garbage truck. All for nothing. “Loop” makes editing Penatgon white papers riotously hilarious. Classic. A

The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus (2009)

The most shocking scene of Terry Gilliam’s dark, nightmarish “let’s make a deal” film comes early: Heath Ledger is first seen hanging by his neck from a bridge during a miserable London night. Nearly two years after his death, Ledger’s mere presence still inspires awe. But, here, it’s for all the wrong reasons. Ledger plays Tony, a man with apparent amnesia found in his awful state by the daughter (Lily Cole) and employee (Andrew Garfield) of the centuries-old, traveling storyteller Dr. Parnassus (Christopher Plummer). The group’s find is lucky, as Tony provides a boost to their business, centuries past its expiration date. Hounding the group is Mr. Nick (Tom Waits), Satan himself, who’s the card dealer to the not-so-good doctor’s addiction to betting. The film, like any Gilliam treat, is a wondrous shifting, warping Rubik’s Cube. Yet, Ledger died mid-production, so in the alternate world scenes, his Tony is played by Johnny Depp, Jude Law and Colin Farrell. Fascinating concept, but hurtful. As tragedy smashes down (happy endings are not guaranteed), the film loses dramatic payoff as the final Tony just isn’t the Tony we've come to love. It isn't Ledger. B

The Young Victoria (2009)

Mega-hit “New Moon” had a sullen teenage heroine with zip spine and life interests outside of boys. Not so “The Young Victoria.” Raised as a prisoner inside her royal “don’t touch” estate, Victoria (Emily Blunt) is named queen of England in the middle of the night, before she’s 20. Suddenly, she must maneuver past a domineering mother (Miranda Richardson), a physically abusive controller (Mark Strong), various suitors (among them Rupert Friend as Albert) and a host of snake-like politicos (led by Paul Belamy), as she gains authority. No time to weep over absent boys. And what’s great about this drama, written by Julian Fellows (“Gosford Park”), is how often Victoria stumbles and reels, but gets back up. With Albert by her side -- not in front, but by her side. And, no, it’s not all roses or high drama. Victoria also knows that leading people is to make it about them, not you. Modern implications are high, if you’re paying attention. But maybe not for those in the Party of No. “Victoria” is hurt by a sheer lack of directness and boldness that raised the recent “An Education” and “Precious” to greatness. Still, a film worthy of true mega-hit status. B+