The Musketeer (2001)

“The Musketeer” pitches Dumas’ famous story as the gritty tale of a novice hero (Justin Chambers of “Grey’s Anatomy”) who must spur the outlawed, drunken Musketeers back to French grandeur. I don’t have the will power to go further into detail. See, it takes a moron king to ruin Damas’ work, and director Peter Hyams (“Timecop”) excels at the challenge. Action scenes are shot haphazardly and, in many cases, in utter darkness. Tim Roth, listlessly marching through his umpteenth psycho role, is the most interesting actor on screen by default. That’s because everyone else, including three guys I don’t know as the most witless, drunken Musketeers ever imagined, are void of any personality. How’s this for a seller? Mena Suvari has top billing as a chambermaid. The film reeks like a nightly bowl she'd empty. F

The Incredible Hulk (2008)

"The Incredible Hulk" isn't a sequel to the ill-fated "Hulk" that Ang Lee directed in 2003. Rather, it's a reboot that hits closer to the comic book's tone by upping the action while bringing in familiar villains that superhero geeks like me grew up on.

Lee's "Hulk" could have been great, it's editing mimicked the look of comic book pages flipping and it fully explained the Hulk's pre-gamma origins, but it crumbled under the weight of a self-important script, a nonsensical climax and an unholy Nick Nolte.

Here, Edward Norton ("Fight Club") takes over from Eric Bana as Bruce Banner, the scientist on the run who becomes the giant, menacing Hulk when he is angered. The film pretends the Ang Lee version never existed -- a new origin is introduced and fully told within the opening credits. From there were in the plot: General Ross (William Hurt) is tracking down Banner, who is hiding in South America. Under Ross' command is the ruthless military nut Emil Blonsky (Tim Roth), a Russian-born Brit who's willing to undergo a physical change of his own to take down the Hulk.

While not as stellar as "Iron Man" or "The Dark Knight," this "Hulk" surpasses the 2003 version with a story that is more simple but not simplistic. This means, of course, that the ending will consist of an over-the-top fight scene, but, hey, that's why we're here, right?

Norton is a better actor, and the depiction of the Hulk is far better both in spirit (he talks and shows intelligence) and vision (while not perfect in every scene, this CGI creation seems for the most part to have presence and mass).

Some manna for fan boys: Lou Ferringo, who played the Hulk in the TV show, is the voice of the Hulk and a security guard; Stan Lee has a cameo; music from the TV show is utilized and The Leader is introduced. I hated the last scene, though, with Robert Downey Jr. as Tony "Iron Man" Stark, talking up a "team" of super heroes. It's a stunt and plays exactly like one. It should have been tossed behind the credits, a move "Iron Man" was smart to take. B