Winter’s Tale (2014)

“Winter’s Tale” is brain-killing romantic tripe with late-30s Colin Farrell as a 20-year-old (!!) street crook who falls for a young rich girl played by “Downton Abbey”’s Jessica Brown Findlay, the latter who dies of consumption in 1915. Add in time travel, a flying white horse, Russell Crowe -- awful, just awful -- as a demon with a gang of union thugs, Will Smith -- career worst awful -- as the most awkward hip-hop Satan ever, stars (as in suns, not actors) that are really souls of people, a magical princess bed that cures –- I shit you not -– little girl cancer, and none of that fuck-all mind-blow high-on-crack shit is as unbelievable as a 115-year-old NYC metro paper publisher paling around with a world famous food critic, both employed at newspapers in 2014. Shit. Really. Akavia Goldsman writes and directs, with all the talent of his “Batman and Robin” and “Avengers,” the 1998 Brit version. The ever-growing, Oscar-winning mediocre “Beautiful Mind,” making mental illness into spy game fun, seems his high point. D-

About Time (2014)

Writer/director Richard Curtis (“Love Actually”) gives the time travel genre a romantic jolt with “About Time,” a comedy drama that would leave a Terminator wet eyed. On his 21^st birthday, gawky Tim (Domhnall Gleeson) learns from his dad (Bill Nighy) that the men in his family can time travel. How so? Never explained. (What about the women, eh?) What is important is that Tim cannot pop Hitler or meet Van Gogh. He only can travel within his own lifetime. Indifferent to wealth or fame, Tim wants to fall in love. That he does with art geek Mary (Rachel McAdams), who shares a first name with Tim’s mother, a factoid our boy awkwardly share every time they meet. I do mean “every time” as Tim replays meeting Mary on repeat until it’s perfect, a fantasy every human likely plays out in their mind. In a move that’s on the sleeve and quite welcome for it, Curtis tips that fantasy is wasteful: Enjoy the moment, be it awkward, soggy, messy, or glorious. Perfectly ordinary, Gleeson and McAdams are a delight together. Some of the funniest bits are the side roads, especially Tim feeding a forgetful VIP actor his lines from off stage. A-

X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014)

Bryan Signer’s “X-Men: Days of Future Past” –- his first return to the Marvel Mutant franchise in 11 years -– has one of those plots that would jump several Marvel titles and have me buying and reading lest I miss a twist. “Future Past” is literal as we focus on clawed-hero Wolverine (Hugh Jackman, Marvel’s hardest working man) leaping from 2023 to 1973 to stop an Orwellian existence started by a mad scientist (Peter Dinklage) bent on domination. Indeed we get the heroes and villains of the two “X-Men” time-line franchises, with seniors Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan and sophomores James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender respectively playing hero Professor X and (non)villain Magneto, all for one admission. Singer serves the giddiest fun scene of the entire “X” films -- a punk speed demon (Evan Peters) breaks Magneto out of a Pentagon cell -– but, damn it, all the time leaping and plot erasing reminds me of the futility of so many comic books. No one dies. Watch a well-known character perish? No worries, wait three minutes, it won’t matter. Emotional investment? Suspense? Wet fireworks. Pay up for the next chapter, please. In three-color print, it worked. On screen? It rings empty. B-

Back to the Future (1985)

I was 11 when “Back to the Future” hit theaters. Not yet in high school. (I got called “McFly!” A lot.) But I loved the story and acting, and knew this movie was whip smart. Watching it again with high school long past and looking at 1985 as movie hero Marty McFly looks at 1955, I’m blown away. “Future” is epic. You know the plot: Michael J. Fox -– then a TV star -– is Marty, a skate-boarding 1980s teen who gets zapped back 30 years in a time machine sports car (how genius!) built by an eccentric nut-job scientist (Christopher Lloyd). In 1955, McFly meets the teenagers (Lea Thompson as a hottie and Crispin Glover as an incredible nerd) who will be his parents, and puts his own existence in jeopardy when he crashes their meet-cute. Never mind sci-fi, Robert Zemekis’ film is one of the great comedies, with marvelous turns from the whole cast, especially Tom Wilson as an idiot bully. The script toys with time-travel like a kid in a Lego store and serves up Ronald Reagan jokes so great Ronal Reagan loved them. Fox –so young – defines movie stardom. A childhood favorite improved with age, I love it. A+

Looper (2012)

In “Looper,” director/writer Rian Johnson (“Brick”) takes the worn idea of time travel and renews it, not just with vigor, wit, and head-turning suspense, but strong characters that act in ways never touched on before -– suicide. Well, not exactly suicide as we know it.

Joseph Gordon Levitt (“Inception” and also “Brick”) plays Joe, a hit man who kills mafia castoffs delivered from 30 years in the future where time travel is possible but illegal. Crazy? Don’t mind it. Joe is known as a Looper because, literally, one day he must execute himself, his older late-50s self. Close the loop. Get it?

The scratch in this time trick: Old Joe turns out to be a vengeance-seeking raging pissed-off man-of-action embodied by Bruce Willis in full “Die Hard” mode, ready to hunt and kill a mysterious young boy who decades later will become an evil Keyzor Soze-like crime boss that will ruin Joe’s — both Joes — life. (A day without referencing “The Usual Suspects” is a day wasted.)

This is trippy, shocking story-telling, and Johnson dares play his hand wide open by admitting onscreen that time travel is pure bunk, a mind screw that is best left unraveled, and then he stomps the gas hard for go, non-stop. He also goes “meta” by having Young Joe’s mafia boss (Jeff Daniels) sulk around as the world’s laziest mobster, opting for PJs over clothes, but able to pop off dark and violent when his underlings fail.

Best bits: Daniels as this mob boss denounces Young Joe’s motives as a hit man who has watched too many movies about hit men, and then Johnson goes onto practically film and his cast act out a full-on worship sequence of mafia hit man classic “Goodfellas.” Time is not just twisted here, but the world of movies, inside and out, is tweaked and turned on its head. Also up for debate grabs: The effects of child abuse, loveless parenting, and how we change — and in many ways remain stunted — as we age. Heavy, wonderful stuff all around.

Johnson scores a knockout, too, because his cast, writing, emotion, and the action are all stellar. Levitt -– under makeup -– makes a believable Willis. All the junk on his face is off-putting at first, but Levitt moves beyond it, and the story is so strong, such complaints fall by the way side. I’ll take occasional makeup mishaps any day over a plot-empty, CGI-drunk stinker such as “Battleship.” I thought “Brick” far too clever for its own good, setting a film noir mystery in a high school. It never earned the raves. This does, easily so.

Also, check out Paul Dano of “There Will be Blood,” playing a fellow hit man who meets a horrifying fate right out of the nastiest episode of “Twilight Zone” ever imagined, but never filmed. More so than even Levitt, Dano is an actor we’ll be talking about decades from now as the best of his generation, his and our time. A-

Safety Not Guaranteed (2012)

With a budget well below $1 million, the Sundance Film Festival hit comedy “Safety Not Guaranteed” asks us to be believe in time travel as reality not because of any high-tech CGI gadgetry on screen, but because the lost soul at the center of this remarkable, funny, and wide-eyed cynic-free tale truly believes in his ability to bend science. It’s all he has in his life, his only shot at true happiness. Besides, the film opens with a journalist at “Seattle Magazine,” pitching a profile feature that requires a long-distance trip of several days, and two interns as assistants. That’s far less likely than time travel. 

So, Jeff (Jake M. Johnson) is the journalist, all wrinkled shirts, coffee stains, and beard stubble, intrigued by a newspaper classified ad that seeks a partner in time travel, “safety not guaranteed.” Jeff – highly cynical, rudderless, a bit of an asshole, and much like many a journalist I know – smells a kook, and think it will make for great reading fodder. Or so he claims. His real mission is to get to the tiny Washington state beach front town the ad originated from, and hook up with an old flame from his high school years. 

His interns are a lonely college student (Aubrey Plaza) still crushed by the death of her mother, and an Indian science nerd (Karan Soni) afraid of girls. They track down the ad’s time traveler, Kenneth Calloway (Mark Duplass), a grocery clerk with a throbbing streak of loneliness, regret, paranoia, and gun-love. 

Plaza’s Darius goes undercover ABC News style as Kenneth’s time-traveler companion, trying to get the scoop: Is Kenneth crazy, mentally ill, dangerous, or a true time-traveling scientist. The answers are surprising, endearing, and out-of-this-world-and-time awesome. I won’t dish on why Kenneth wants to go back in time, but the lead up, and his refusal to let Darius see the device leads to great comic highlights (a break-in at a tech firm whilst a major company party is going on) and heartfelt (yes, Darius soon falls for Kenneth and all his quirks, but her own quirks are just as strong life-suffocating). Meanwhile, Jeff’s bid at reunited love goes awry, as it must, and he obsesses about manning up Karan’s nerd. 

Director Colin Trevorrow and writer Derek Connolly paint a small portrait of adults who already are in a way time-traveling, their minds and souls stuck in the past on regrets, things said wrong, and missed opportunities. The final scenes, as FBI agents chase our reporters chasing Kenneth are a blast, and made one college co-ed behind me in the theater near jump out of her chair with a cheer. I agreed, and wanted to cheer that loud.

As with the characters, there are some points here of much regret, mainly Karan’s character – the lonely, giant-eye-glass wearing nerd from India studying science and afraid of women. It’s an awful, old stereotype so over-used in film and TV, it may – if it hasn’t already – surpass the sidekick cliché of the best pal who’s flaming, lisping, cross-dressing gay. Both character types really ought not to appear in any form of art not written by people older than high school age. That said, Duplass gives an amazing performance as Kenneth, twisting audience sympathy and distrust of him around on its head a dozen times over. 

“Safety” may not have big-screen pop! of much-loved time-travel Hollywood blockbusters such as “Back to the Future” or “Terminator,” but it’s brain and heart is bigger, and I’d love to go back in time and re-watch this film for the first time again and again. (And, hey, after the ugly “Men in Black 3,” the science of time travel needs a big pick-me-up.)

Cool fact: The ad that starts this film, which reads, “Wanted: Somebody to go back in time with me. This is not a joke. You'll get paid after we get back. Must bring your own weapons. I have only done this once before. Safety not guaranteed” is real. It was placed in a nature magazine by a man from Oregon a bit more than 10 years ago. When every other film out now in cinemas is a remake or a prequel/sequel, or based on a comic book, it’s a blast to know one fresh idea can shine bright, and be based on a 150-letter ad from a man who may be mental or more genius than we can ever know. A-

Men in Black 3 (2012)

All time travel plots defy logic: If you go back in time to kill Hitler as a child, the absence of an adult Hitler will negate the need to jump back, which means Hitler will rise. But we still love the idea, right? “Men in Black 3” adds a time travel trick hat to its black suits, ties and sunglasses, and the effort further tarnishes the first outing about top secret agents K (Tommy Lee Jones) and J (Will Smith) and a secret police force that patrols alien life on Earth. Here, an old nemesis of K’s jumps back to 1969 to kill him as part of an elaborate revenge tactic. In present day NYC, Agent K is dead 43 years, and only J inexplicably remembers him. So back J goes to save K. Ill-conceived from first frame to last, nothing makes sense, not even on the wide girth of a summer flick about aliens, ray guns, Andy Warhol, and moon prisons. The chemistry between Smith and Jones is shit, derailed by Jones’ pained disinterest. Huge props to Josh Brolin as a young K, nailing a TLJ impression so dead-on it deserves its own film, not this crap sequel. C+