The Theory of Everything (2014)

Stephen Hawking’s life defies bullshit terms such as inspirational. Fifty years he has lived with motor neuron disease, his body crumbling even as he stuns us with his thoughts on how we came to exist. What comes next. “The Theory of Everything” is not about theories, but Hawking’s marriage to Jane Wilde. That’s enough story. It does not require delusions and conspiracies as was done to genius John Nash in the overdone “A Beautiful Mind.” For this love -– as you know –- succumbs. The life and mind and demand of Hawking’s needs are too much to bear, and that is the hook of this story. Directed by James March (“Man on Wire”), “Theory” knows fantastical love cannot overcome reality. And Hawking is about reality. He believes God is a myth; Wilde holds that God is among us. Their marriage cannot survive, not when she falls for a kindly man of God, and he for a pragmatic nurse. “Theory” bypasses many of Hawking’s history-resetting thoughts, but the filming of such, would be impossible. No? As Hawking, Eddie Redmayne breaks out as a major young actor of our time, while as Jane, Felicity Jones plays at war with the soul. B+

The Last Days on Mars (2013)

The very title of “The Last Days on Mars” is erroneous as it all takes place within one day on the Red Planet, but, hey, somehow it recalls a ’70s Brit prog rock concept album. Never mind that. This is “Alien” meets “Night of the Living Dead,” with Liev Schreiber as a scientist on a Mars research gig with a motley crew (Elias Koteas and Olivia Williams among them) who are all gung-ho to finish up until that one last errand goes bad bad bad oh so wrong. And then people start turning into zombies and start attacking each other. Why? No idea. I don’t need to know. “Alien” didn’t explain a thing. But I peered in too deep because there has to be something else here other than zombies attacking people on Mars, with no escape. But there’s just not. Oh, I dug Schreiber’s messed up astronaut, with his fear of closed spaces, and space ships (huh?), and some accident that struck before the film, but that’s not enough to carry this story. Not when the best character –- Williams’ cold officer -– is tossed off with a shrug. C+

Sleepy Hollow (1999)

“Sleepy Hollow” is perfect Tim Burton id: Gloriously dark atmosphere spiked with a wicked sense of humor, misfit characters that can only be saved by love, surreal violence, and a god-awful story with stabs of brilliance, but mostly ugly exposition. Burton and screenwriters Andrew Kevin Walker and (un-credited) Tom Stoppard take the Irving story and dump the school teacher for a NYC police constable (Johnny Depp, brilliantly good) advocating science forensics to his detriment in an age -– 1799 -– drunk on religion. Crane is sent to Sleepy Hollow to investigate a series of lobbed-off heads by a demonic man on a horse, minus his own head, and the latter is no joke, because this is Burton, and magic, evil, and trees of death puking blood abound. Crane’s arrival –- filmed by Emmanuel Lubezki, scored by Danny Elfman, with a set from purgatory –- is marvelous, fused with old Hammer Films and 1931’s classic “Frankenstein.” Brilliant: Depp plays Crane as a heinous wus, using a teenage boy as a human shield. Weak: Huge story errors and a conspiracy-heavy reveal that defies reason. Christopher Walken plays the horseman, growling with devotion to Burton’s majestic dark yearnings. I miss this Burton. B

Safety Not Guaranteed (2012)

With a budget well below $1 million, the Sundance Film Festival hit comedy “Safety Not Guaranteed” asks us to be believe in time travel as reality not because of any high-tech CGI gadgetry on screen, but because the lost soul at the center of this remarkable, funny, and wide-eyed cynic-free tale truly believes in his ability to bend science. It’s all he has in his life, his only shot at true happiness. Besides, the film opens with a journalist at “Seattle Magazine,” pitching a profile feature that requires a long-distance trip of several days, and two interns as assistants. That’s far less likely than time travel. 

So, Jeff (Jake M. Johnson) is the journalist, all wrinkled shirts, coffee stains, and beard stubble, intrigued by a newspaper classified ad that seeks a partner in time travel, “safety not guaranteed.” Jeff – highly cynical, rudderless, a bit of an asshole, and much like many a journalist I know – smells a kook, and think it will make for great reading fodder. Or so he claims. His real mission is to get to the tiny Washington state beach front town the ad originated from, and hook up with an old flame from his high school years. 

His interns are a lonely college student (Aubrey Plaza) still crushed by the death of her mother, and an Indian science nerd (Karan Soni) afraid of girls. They track down the ad’s time traveler, Kenneth Calloway (Mark Duplass), a grocery clerk with a throbbing streak of loneliness, regret, paranoia, and gun-love. 

Plaza’s Darius goes undercover ABC News style as Kenneth’s time-traveler companion, trying to get the scoop: Is Kenneth crazy, mentally ill, dangerous, or a true time-traveling scientist. The answers are surprising, endearing, and out-of-this-world-and-time awesome. I won’t dish on why Kenneth wants to go back in time, but the lead up, and his refusal to let Darius see the device leads to great comic highlights (a break-in at a tech firm whilst a major company party is going on) and heartfelt (yes, Darius soon falls for Kenneth and all his quirks, but her own quirks are just as strong life-suffocating). Meanwhile, Jeff’s bid at reunited love goes awry, as it must, and he obsesses about manning up Karan’s nerd. 

Director Colin Trevorrow and writer Derek Connolly paint a small portrait of adults who already are in a way time-traveling, their minds and souls stuck in the past on regrets, things said wrong, and missed opportunities. The final scenes, as FBI agents chase our reporters chasing Kenneth are a blast, and made one college co-ed behind me in the theater near jump out of her chair with a cheer. I agreed, and wanted to cheer that loud.

As with the characters, there are some points here of much regret, mainly Karan’s character – the lonely, giant-eye-glass wearing nerd from India studying science and afraid of women. It’s an awful, old stereotype so over-used in film and TV, it may – if it hasn’t already – surpass the sidekick cliché of the best pal who’s flaming, lisping, cross-dressing gay. Both character types really ought not to appear in any form of art not written by people older than high school age. That said, Duplass gives an amazing performance as Kenneth, twisting audience sympathy and distrust of him around on its head a dozen times over. 

“Safety” may not have big-screen pop! of much-loved time-travel Hollywood blockbusters such as “Back to the Future” or “Terminator,” but it’s brain and heart is bigger, and I’d love to go back in time and re-watch this film for the first time again and again. (And, hey, after the ugly “Men in Black 3,” the science of time travel needs a big pick-me-up.)

Cool fact: The ad that starts this film, which reads, “Wanted: Somebody to go back in time with me. This is not a joke. You'll get paid after we get back. Must bring your own weapons. I have only done this once before. Safety not guaranteed” is real. It was placed in a nature magazine by a man from Oregon a bit more than 10 years ago. When every other film out now in cinemas is a remake or a prequel/sequel, or based on a comic book, it’s a blast to know one fresh idea can shine bright, and be based on a 150-letter ad from a man who may be mental or more genius than we can ever know. A-

The Fly (1986) and The Fly II (1989)

David Cronenberg’s nightmare love story horror flick “The Fly” is mad genius, sickly twisted, and lets Jeff Goldblum spin gold as a loner nerd scientist named Seth Brundle who wants to change the world as we know it. He doesn’t, but sure as hell changes his own corner when a teleportation experiment goes wrong and he zaps himself and a house fly from one souped-up self-built transport pod to another, two go in, one comes out. Cronenberg fires on all bloody cylinders, starting with a romance between Goldblum and Geena Davis as a reporter, then sci-fi fantasy, then body horror as Seth morphs to a superman assured he has jumped the evolutionary ladder to mad man when his body starts falling apart, and becoming ... another. Twenty-six years on “Fly” still shocks with Goldblum’s transformation under makeup, and then the stop-motion creatures that replace him. The lines are cheesy – “Be afraid! Be very afraid!” – but the visuals burn deep, as does Cronenberg’s obsession with dying and disease. Last note: Mr. C must release a director’s cut soon: Check out a cut scene on YouTube, as Seth makes a monkey-cat as part of his own healing scheme shown later. Insane. A

In “The Fly II,” Cronenberg buzzes off to better films, and we’re stuck with Chris Walas – the makeup guy on the first film – as director of a “Like Father, Like Son” spookfest. Let’s give it points: “Fly II” flies in a different direction as Martin, the mutant flyboy of Goldblum’s scientist and Davis’ reporter, is raised inside a mega-corp lab, and as a 20-year-old (really 5) falls in love, all flowers and dancing sweet. Sure as hell, though, we get a grisly transformation and all goes to shit fast with bad visual effects and a LOL “Alien” rip off as Marty McFly (tee-hee!) goes on a bender against his surrogate Mr. Burns daddy, so boring bad, he could be a 1970s Disney villain. Lee Richardson is the old man, and Eric Stoltz – he did “Mask” before this – is young Martin. It’s all a maggot baby so unworthy of Cronenberg I wanted to take a rolled-up magazine and … well, you know. C

Contagion (2011)

“Contagion” will stay with you for weeks, like a bad infection or the title killer virus that spreads around the globe thanks to Gwyneth Paltrow’s businesswoman/mom/wife/adulteress. This is a medical apocalypse horror flick where every cough, sneeze and human touch comes on like an axe blade. Director Steven Soderberg and writer Scott Z. Burns present a cold and smart drama, as if told by a veteran crime reporter. The duo refuse to go for the loud orchestra-assisted heroic deaths of major characters: They get sick and die, the scene moves on. No comment. Like the virus. Some great actors – Matt Damon, Kate Winslet, Laurence Fishburne and John Hawks among them – are the scrambling heroes, locking their surviving children in their home, taking to the field to control the virus’ spread, or managing from on high at Center for Disease Control. The characters spill expert medical terms without apology, make errors both terrible and loving, and the saviors wear lab coats. The women rock. Science rocks. Jude Law plays a snakey left-wing blogger, and is deviously good. Damon marks his best onscreen moment: A husband so shocked upon hearing of his wife’s death, he asks to speak to her. The doctor repeats, “She’s dead.” Cold and sad. A-

Creation (2010)

“Creation” is an ironic title for a drama about Charles Darwin's struggle to bring “On the Origin of Species” to life. If only the product were half as smart. Instead it makes the most bone-headed dramatic error I've seen in years. Early in this Jon Amiel-directed film, Darwin (Paul Bettany) is in his study, speaking to his cherubic oldest daughter while his wife (Jennifer Connelly) busies herself elsewhere. It’s supposed to be humanizing, until one realizes there is no daughter. She’s dead. Darwin is talking to a ghost, a figment of his sickened mind. As in “A Beautiful Mind,” which co-starred none other than Bettany and Connelly. What the hell were the filmmakers thinking? What works for one genius, works for all? Darwin’s brilliant work is so controversial that 150 years later it still invites scorn and censorship (hello, Texas!), yet the filmmakers don't seem to think this is enough drama. Order up some ghosts! Yes, there are fine scenes about the war between fact and faith, but Darwin's critics must be rejoicing: They have a film that shows the scientist as an unbalanced mad man, a guy so ill-fitted to survival he can’t even hold a quill. Kill God? “Creation” kills free thought. D+