The Family (2013)

Robert De Niro and Michelle Pfeiffer play husband and wife in the comedy-drama “The Family” which follows a mob-connected clan unable to keep their New Yawk F.U. attitude in check while living in rural France under witness protection. Dad pummels a shady plumber with a hammer, mom blows up a grocery for its lack of peanut butter, while the children (Dianna Argo and David Belle) pull of blackmail and crush anyone who crosses them. Tommy Lee Jones, haggard and grouchy as always, plays the haggard and grouchy U.S. federal agent who has to keep the family safe from assassins. See, De Niro’s dad snitched his mafia bosses and is now wanted. Director Luc Besson -– he made “The Professional” –- eyes slapstick comedy upfront, and drama and suspense later, asking us to sympathize with these hard-ass ’Mericans when the guns come. It’s an ugly shift: We’re not talking Bernstein Bears here. This family proudly dishes cruelty, yet when tables turn, suddenly violence is wrong? (Never mind the high body count of innocents.) Love the “Goodfellas” bit, though. B-

Lincoln (2012)

“I could write shorter sermons, but when I get started I’m too lazy to stop,” said Abraham Lincoln, 150 years ago and quoting a rhetorical preacher.  

What better motive to be brief: Working from a screenplay by Tony Kushner (“Angles in America”), Steven Spielberg’s near-miraculous masterpiece “Lincoln” isn’t a full-life bio-pic of the 16^th president, but a careful, smart study of the man’s final months in office as he tried to end the Civil War and pass the 13^th amendment fully abolishing slavery, fearful his Emancipation Proclamation will fall useless once the nation re-unites. 

“Lincoln” –- at its most basic -- may be about legislation, yet it plays out as the most nail-biting, and, yes, funny thriller of our time, for no reason more so than this is about the true, ugly birth of America, where all men are created equal. (Women waited longer for equality; the gay population still waits its turn, Kushner makes apparent.) 

Leaving behind old tricks and sentimental streaks found even in “Schindler’s List,” Spielberg has made a time-capsule story where the fights inside smoky rooms seem like found-footage from 1865. With our nation again deeply divided over everything from budgets to gun control, “Lincoln” almost seems a warped, darkly ironic mirror and wake-up call for today.  

His own miracle maker, Daniel Day-Lewis brings Lincoln to life in astonishing detail –- high voice, striking bouts of anger and compassion, an endless tenacity for jokes and asides that charm some men and drive others mad. Day-Lewis again has topped himself, even with his volcanic performance in “There Will Be Blood.” 

This is no liberal party, though: There’s a scene where Day-Lweis as Lincoln is placed across from famed abolitionist Thaddeus Stevens (Tommy Lee Jones), and the latter barks, “It’s called leadership, you should try it for a change.” That is a blistering order to Obama. (And, yes, the movie nails that it was Democrats in the oh-so-wrong here, reluctant to see slavery fall, whilst Republicans -- liberal ones -- fought to end it. Dems were conservatives back then. Irony.)

The acting all around is the best of the year, the cast inspired by the script, the ideals on screen by Kushner? Who knows. Enjoy it. This good a cast is rare. Jones and Sally Field (as Mary Todd) are equal to Day-Lewis at every turn to the point when husband and wife rip each other over son Willie’s death, the audience -– I –- felt as if I were a eavesdropper. 

Even 10 minutes too long past a poignant stopping point, this is -- for now -- the Best Film of 2012, worthy of a long sermon and national viewing and consideration. And here I stop, not too lazy. A

Men in Black 3 (2012)

All time travel plots defy logic: If you go back in time to kill Hitler as a child, the absence of an adult Hitler will negate the need to jump back, which means Hitler will rise. But we still love the idea, right? “Men in Black 3” adds a time travel trick hat to its black suits, ties and sunglasses, and the effort further tarnishes the first outing about top secret agents K (Tommy Lee Jones) and J (Will Smith) and a secret police force that patrols alien life on Earth. Here, an old nemesis of K’s jumps back to 1969 to kill him as part of an elaborate revenge tactic. In present day NYC, Agent K is dead 43 years, and only J inexplicably remembers him. So back J goes to save K. Ill-conceived from first frame to last, nothing makes sense, not even on the wide girth of a summer flick about aliens, ray guns, Andy Warhol, and moon prisons. The chemistry between Smith and Jones is shit, derailed by Jones’ pained disinterest. Huge props to Josh Brolin as a young K, nailing a TLJ impression so dead-on it deserves its own film, not this crap sequel. C+

Men in Black (1997)

I love “Men in Black.” To think it once was going to star Clint Eastwood and Chris O’Donnell. Thank God for Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith. Jones is K, an agent for a secret government organization that is like Department of Immigration for outer space arrivals. K’s mission: Keep the aliens a secret from us human saps. Smith is J, a plains clothes street cop who ends up working for K. The plot has Smith as a surrogate “us,” seeing a whacky world that’s been all around us, but just out of sight until now. Our Men in Black have to stop the world from going asunder, and their enemy is a bug-infested famer whose body was smashed flat so he drags himself around with tics and hiccups. He’s played by Vincent D’Onofrio in an endlessly funny and Oscar-worthy performance. Director Barry Sonnenfeld makes the talking dogs, one-liners and the climactic joke about the N.Y. fair grounds seem effortless and perfectly sensible. Rick Baker designed the unique aliens. Smith and Jones -- I love their surnames here -- play like a father-and-son comedy team, having a blast. Even Jones smiles. A

No County for Old Men (2007)

“No Country for Old Men” is top-notch, dark-hued Joel and Ethan Coen Whiskey, equal to “Miller’s Crossing” and “Blood Simple.” This thriller turned morality tale burns going down, with pulses of humor so dark, one feels guilty for laughing. It’s also a wild companion piece to “There Will Be Blood.” If that classic is about America’s twisted love of capitalism and religion, this tackles America’s love for killing.

Based on the Cormac McCarthy novel, “Country” follows three men: Llewelyn Moss (Josh Brolin), a Vietnam vet; Ed Tom Bell (Tommy Lee Jones), a Texas sheriff from a family of lawmen; and Anton Chigurh (Javier Bardem), a near-silent killer with a ’70s Hulk hairdo and an obsession with fate. The film is one long chase, the prize being a satchel of money. The genius kick: Author and filmmakers don’t care about the chase or the money. As “Men” churns along, the graphic violence all but slips off screen, and a philosophical tone on morality takes over. Boring? Grow up. Cormac rips story-telling rules. Coens kill movie rules.

Jones gives a career-best performance, including a stellar monologue that refers to the 23rd Psalm, without mentioning God. That’s a McCarthy trademark. Barden is freaking amazing. I could ramble on for hours. I love this film. (The book is amazing.) I love the sound design (the unscrewed light bulb) and lack of music, and Kelly Macdonald’s stoic blast-of-truth housewife. Genius. A+

Blown Away (1994)

Hammy acting can be a deadly bomb, and this 1994 drama kills. The audience. In "Blown Away," a mad Irish bomber (Tommy Lee Jones) targets the Boston Police Department's Bomb Squad and its loose cannon star Jimmy Dove (Jeff Bridges), who has dark secrets of his own. The supporting cast includes Forrest Whitaker, Lloyd Bridges, Cuba Gooding Jr. and Suzi Amis. What could go wrong with a cast like that, eh? Jones gives his career worst performance, even compared to "Batman Forever." (Yep.) His Ryan Gaerity is a loon Irish terrorist too loony for the IRA, who wears Jesus T-shirts and listens to U2 records (but doesn't actually listen), who drinks, giggles, jigs and wails like the Lucky Charms guy. It's an insult to any one who believes in Jesus or loves U2, or has a 1/10th trace of Irish blood. I'm a Scot, and I was insulted by proximity. Nothing in this film is believable. Add in over-done editing and music, a lengthy running time, and just let it end. C-