Gambit (2012)

“Gambit” takes the 1960s Michael Caine Brit caper of the same name –- which I have only seen sections –- and casts Colin Firth and Alan Rickman in roles tailor made for each man’s screen persona. Firth is the charmer. Rickman is the asshole. Firth’s plan: Sell a fake Monet to Rickman’s media tycoon, and get rich. We have Joel and Ethan Coen given screenwriter credit. Don’t believe that PR move. Whatever version they wrote died long ago. Nor should you believe the flimsy animated credits opener that wants us to think “Pink Panther,” but delivers nothing of the sort. Believe nothing about this romp. The main gag has Firth’s hero as a delusional con artist who sees ideas play out perfectly in his mind before reality kicks in. He attracts disaster. A wink at Firth’s unending charisma? No. Director Michael Hoffman pulls the worst gotch’ya ender in history, negating the entire movie. Worst bit: Cameron Diaz channels Jesse from “Toy Story” as a cowgirl at the center of the wonky plot. She’s intolerable. D-

Inside Llewyn Davis (2013)

Ethan and Joel Coen again trade up genres with “Inside Llewyn Davis,” a morbid, often hilarious musical biopic unlike those about Johnny Cash or Ray Charles. See, Llewyn Davis –- played by Oscar Issac in an Oscar-worthy performance –- does not strike it rich, land the girl, and get a celebrity to play him in a big movie. This is the guy who doesn’t make it. He’s among the hundreds of crooners whose records sit unpurchased, him on a street corner playing between car horns. Davis is a folk singer in 1961 New York who pisses on success and press coverage, yet rues his laughable inability to gain a foothold to be heard. The character is indeed fictional, but his story rings more true than that of Bob Dylan (who can be heard at the finale). Some critics dumped on “Davis” because they see the Coens as torturing their hero for sick laughs. Wrong. They love this guy despite all his incredible blundering errors. They just cut the bullshit and remind us in our “American Idol” instant-celebrity era, that no, not everyone gets that happy ending. They get punched. Issac is fantastic, as an actor and musician. And good to see John Goodman again. A-

True Grit (2010)

I’ve yet to see John Wayne‘s “True Grit.” If I saw it as a child, I have no memory of The Duke playing one-eyed alcoholic U.S. Marshal Rueben “Rooster” J. Coburn, who is hired as a bounty hunter by a 14-year-old to capture her father’s killer. Joel and Ethan Coen are behind this re-adaptation of Charles Portis’ book, and in mostly serious “No Country for Old Men” mode. This western isn’t as bloody violent or brilliant as the 2007 gem, it’s missing a mad anything-can-happen spark, but “Grit” is wildly entertaining. Jeff Bridges (“The Big Lebowski”) plays Coburn, and brilliantly so. Coburn is old and cantankerous. His brain drowned long ago in whiskey, so his speech is slurred and his motor skills awkward. These traits are hilarious and sad. This is more concerned about play of words, language and character than plot, and the Coens rock the proceedings. As the teen employer, Hailee Steinfeld is amazing, forceful and blunt. She not only gets the better of Coburn, but Bridges. Even Matt Damon, as a Texas Ranger, can’t match this teen. Give Steinfeld an Oscar. A-

The Big Lebowski (1998)

I dismissed “The Big Lebowski” the first time I saw it in 1998. Following “Fargo,” I wanted a substantial work of art from brothers Ethan and Joel Coen. But that’s not how they play. So, with my now third viewing, I’m a Believer. Jeff Bridges is Jeff “The Dude” Lebowski, an unemployed stoner who leaves his house for only two reasons: To bowl, and to buy supplies for White Russians, dressed in a robe and boxers. When goons (Hey! It’s Jacob from “LOST”!) mistake The Dude for a rich old man with the same name, our hero finds himself involved in a film noir caper normally reserved for tough-guy cops, private detectives or journalists. And that’s the joy of this funny, endlessly quotable satirical tale, with stand-out performances by John Goodman as a Vietnam Vet still stuck in his own time warp, and Steve Buscemi as a guy who couldn’t follow a “Peanuts” strip. I still think “Lebowski” is too long and serves up too much zaniness for its own good, but The Dude is so wonderfully written and performed, that he’s become an icon. Bridges is Lebowski, and Lebowski is Bridges. Abide. A-

No County for Old Men (2007)

“No Country for Old Men” is top-notch, dark-hued Joel and Ethan Coen Whiskey, equal to “Miller’s Crossing” and “Blood Simple.” This thriller turned morality tale burns going down, with pulses of humor so dark, one feels guilty for laughing. It’s also a wild companion piece to “There Will Be Blood.” If that classic is about America’s twisted love of capitalism and religion, this tackles America’s love for killing.

Based on the Cormac McCarthy novel, “Country” follows three men: Llewelyn Moss (Josh Brolin), a Vietnam vet; Ed Tom Bell (Tommy Lee Jones), a Texas sheriff from a family of lawmen; and Anton Chigurh (Javier Bardem), a near-silent killer with a ’70s Hulk hairdo and an obsession with fate. The film is one long chase, the prize being a satchel of money. The genius kick: Author and filmmakers don’t care about the chase or the money. As “Men” churns along, the graphic violence all but slips off screen, and a philosophical tone on morality takes over. Boring? Grow up. Cormac rips story-telling rules. Coens kill movie rules.

Jones gives a career-best performance, including a stellar monologue that refers to the 23rd Psalm, without mentioning God. That’s a McCarthy trademark. Barden is freaking amazing. I could ramble on for hours. I love this film. (The book is amazing.) I love the sound design (the unscrewed light bulb) and lack of music, and Kelly Macdonald’s stoic blast-of-truth housewife. Genius. A+

A Serious Man (2009)

The title is almost off-putting: “A Serious Man.” It sounds terribly depressing, right? But this dark, tiny thinker of a comedy is the Coen Brothers’ razor sharp version of Monty Python’s “The Meaning of Life.”

Here a 1967 Midwest Jewish physics professor named Larry Gopnick (Michael Stuhlbarg) stands in the middle of life’s highway as misfortunes run him down one truck after another. Larry’s wife wants a divorce so she can marry a widower named Sy, who in turn wants to be Larry’s BFF. Larry’s son is smoking pot and considers not getting a clear picture for “F Troop” an emergency. Larry’s freak brother is gambling and dabbling in illegal sex. Larry is up for tenure. The hits keep coming, and as our hero cracks, the Coens ask “What does it all mean?” and “What is God’s will? Does He even have a will?”

Don’t expect safe answers from the men who gave us “Fargo” and “No Country for Old Men.” (One rabbi insists life’s answers are in the parking lot. Another flatly says there are none. Both scenes are priceless.) An actor not known in Hollywood circles, Stuhlbarg is brilliant in the lead role.

The final scenes are jaw-dropping cruel stunts that only the Coens can get away with. They hit the viewer like an unforgiving truck. A-

Fargo (1996)

The Coen Brothers, whom I eternally adore, should have won an armful of Oscars for “Fargo,” a most excellent and most bleak comedy/thriller that doubles as a morality play so good, you could play it in church. If your place of worship allowed the screening of films were men are fed to a wood chipper. (Hey, it’s not like “Exodus” is squeaky clean, people. Roll with me.)

Set in northern Midwest, “Fargo” follows a loser car salesman named Jerry Lundegaard (William H. Macy) who hires two criminals (Steve Buscemi and Peter Stormare) to kidnap his wife in order to get a ransom from his rich father-in-law. Even Buscemi’s dim bulb doesn’t get that device, asking: “Why not just borrow the money?” As Mutt and Jeff later flee with the kidnapped wife, they kill three people on an icy length of North Dakota highway. Thus enters whip-smart local Marge Gunderson (Frances McDormand, who napped an Oscar) as a hugely pregnant police officer investigating the deaths.

The Coen Brothers clearly have their tongues firmly planted in cheek for most of this “true story” that plays like a grisly ode to Hitchcock’s best, and a satire of greed and stupidity. But damn if they don’t play the neatest card trick by having Marge and her painter husband (John Carroll Lynch of “Zodiac”) be the pinnacle of a moral, loving middle-aged couple. And then Marge gets to deliver a lecture on the senseless violence and greed that makes up much of the 90 minutes of plot. This kind of film can’t be duplicated. And many have tried. It was my favorite film of 1996.

The whole cast is top notch, but it’s Macy who stands out in a role that should have won him an Oscar. His Jerry is a clueless weasel who’s drowned even before he jumps into the swimming pool. And, yet, Macy makes it impossible to hate the man. His frantic emergency call to the old man is hilarious. A

Blood Simple (1984) and Miller's Crossing (1990)

I love me some Coen Brothers. Love 'em, and here's two of their best. Freakin' awesome films.

I recently read an interview where director Danny Boyle ("Slumdog Millionaire") discusses the brothers Joel and Ethan. "Blood Simple," he says, is their first and best film. It's hard to disagree with that. (Well, see below.) Set in Texas, this pitch-black film noir ala "Twilight Zone" comedy follows the twisting rotten relationship between two lovers (Frances McDormand and John Getz), an unbalanced husband (Dan Hedaya) and a cackling, double-crossing psychopathic P.I. (M. Emmet Walsh). With gallons of bloods and one character who won't stay dead, this crackles with intense suspense and a sickeningly funny, hair-raising climax. The game is raised by Barry Sonnenfeld's wandering, roving and jumping camera, and Walsh's evil yellow-suited cowboy. He's still the Coens' most devious creation; his laugh is unforgettable. The film, too.

"Miller's Crossing" is another classic from Joel and Ethan, this one mixing in classics "The Godfather" with "Yojimbo" and a dozen other double-cross films involving Bogart-era mobsters, dames, bookies and hoods in the woods. Oh, and some sickly dark comedy. Gabriel Byrne has never been better or cooler as Tom, a mafia lieutenant who breaks with his boss (Albert Finney) to join the other side (led by John Polito) while juggling a tramp girlfriend (Marcia Gay Harden) and her gay sleazebag bookie brother (John Turturro). Smart, brilliant, and a knowing tribute/smack down to all crime films, every shot is a work of art and every character fascinating. There's whip smart and funny dialogue, too. Midway through the film the Coens give us a scene that they have yet to top: Byrne, pistol in hand, stalking a screaming, screeching Turturro into a forest. Hell, the whole film may be their best.

Both films: A+

Burn After Reading (2008)

"Burn After Reading" is another of the Coen Brother's pitch-dark comedies tinged with Hitchcock drama and brutal violence. One of the DVD Q-and-A features with Joel and Ethan Coen hits the nail on the head plot wise: "Burn" is their version of an "Enemy of the State" genre flick, without the explosions. Or hero.

John Malkovich stars as Oswald Cox, a CIA analyst with a drinking problem and anger management issues who quits his job after being demoted for having a drinking problem and blasting his superiors with an "F"-word-fueled rant that is hilarious. (Does anyone say that word better?) Oz seeks revenge by writing his memoirs, an act that has his cold-as-ice wife (Tilda Swinton) laughing and seeking a divorce.

Soon a CD containing material for the memoir ends up on the floor of a D.C. gym, and then in the hands of two bumbling gym employees (Brad Pitt and Coens regular Frances McDormand) who smell money in a blackmail scheme. Thrown into the mix is George Clooney as a married Treasury officer who's sleeping with Swinton's ice princess, McDormand's sad sack and a host of other women. Dry as ash J.K. Simmons has a priceless, but brief, role as a CIA head honcho bewildered as these inept characters cross and re-cross paths, spilling reams of dark comedy and a good bit of blood along the way.

"Burn" lacks the high-stakes drama of the similarly dark and multi-tiered "Fargo," but it's a blast of witty dialogue and satire, knocking the self-absorption and pure idiocy of Americans (or anyone, really) who feel they deserve and ought to have a better life. The beauty of the film lies in the Coens' insistence of not showing every detail: Much of the hoopla involving the disk is left off screen, and anyone hoping for a final shootout and tall-standing hero will be disappointed.

The cast is clearly having a blast, especially Clooney and Pitt, who share the screen for a nasty split-second spin on a vital scene from David Lynch's "Blue Velvet." Some critics have made hay over perceived sexism in the film, but that's bunk. Yes, the women are cold, or selfish and foolish, but nearly every male is as well. The film has one true person to root for, the kind gym manager played by Richard Jenkins who loves McDormand's character. Alas, this is Coen Territory. Hearts are more than broken. B+

Raising Arizona (1987)

Of the Coen Brothers' zany "doofus" comedies, "Raising Arizona" remains the funniest. (I always prefer their darker fare.) There are some stand out moments in this film about a ne'er do well repeat offender (Nicolas Cage) who falls for the jailer (Holly Hunter) who takes his mug shot time and time again after a series of arrests. The hi-jinks kick into gear when the barren couple hatches a plan to kidnap one of five sons born to wealthy furniture salesman (Trey Wilson, stealing the show) named Nathan Arizona. This romp has some classic moments: 1) The kidnapping scene in which Cage juggles five toddlers is a highlight in the actor's spotty career, and 2) The shot of poor Nathan Jr. left sitting in his baby seat in the middle of a highway is priceless. (This is a Coens film, and not for the faint of moral.) The plot relies much on dumb Midwesterners doing dumb stuff, and there's little depth, but "Arizona" is loose, fast and perfectly strange. A-

Barton Fink (1991)

The title character of "Barton Fink" -- a twisted "comedy" from brilliant brothers Joel and Ethan Coen -- finds himself in hell, but disguised as World War II-era Hollywood. Fink (John Turturro) is a World War II-era New York playwright on the cusp of a single hit and is whisked away to Hollywood to work in "pictures."

If anyone has any doubts about the distaste that the Coens have for Hollywood big shots and big money, this is the answer. They hate the place. Fink is hired to write a script for a wrestling movie, and is quickly told that the plot, characters and tone is irrelevant, as long as he includes a dame or an orphan. People love dames and they love orphans, he's told. When Fink suggests why not both, he's given a stare of death by his new boss (the hilarious Michael Lerner). If Fink's job seems hellish, his hotel truly is a pit of fire and sulfur. The hotel clerk (Steve Buscemi) is a twig of a man, who appears covered in dust. Every inch of the hotel also appears covered in grime, untouched since the turn of the century. Even the sick green wallpaper is peeling off the walls. Then there's his neighbor, an insurance salesman (John Goodman) who won't stop talking. Not that it matters. The Coens aren't easy on their lonely writer, either. He claims to write for and about the common man, like Goodman, but he really only cares about himself.

A baffling twist comes midway through this comedy, one that could only work in a Coen Brothers film. Or Hitchcock. From there this seemingly broad, neat Hollywood satire (and hotel comedy spoof) turns dark and hot. And I do mean hot, as the hotel becomes an inferno. And unlike badly done CGI films, the flames here appear (are?) real -- the actors swelter and turn red in the blistering, flaming heat. This is a genius film: you don't see the end coming, but when it does it's sadly ironic, and every line bleeds quotable classic. (One complaint: "What's in the box!?!")

The Coens have never made a truly awful film, but their misfires -- "The Hudsucker Proxy," "Intolerable Cruelty" and "The LadyKillers" -- all skated in line with big-studio Hollywood fare. Or close to it. The winners, be they comedy or not -- "Fargo," "Miller's Crossing," "Blood Simple" and the new classic "No Country For Old Men" -- fell far outside the Blockbuster route. I'm probably grasping at straws to say that Fink represents a Ethan/Joel mash up if the brothers ever turned Hollywood hack or New York sap, but they still have their soul. Thank goodness. A