Escape from L.A. (1996)

“Escape from L.A.” has to be joke. Whether it’s on or with the audience, I cannot say for sure. John Carpenter’s sequel to the 1981 cult hit “Escape from New York” marks the riotously silly return of monosyllabic, one-eyed, not very bright, but ass-kicker king Snake Plissken (Kurt Russell, who also co-wrote the film) as he’s again dropped into a future hellhole American city with another do-or-die mission. The special effects range from mildly ugly to unfit for a film school entry and the music score is torture. Carpenter and Russell, though, take grinning digs at Los Angeles life, plastic surgeries as “House of Wax” horror, and –- best of all -- create a political satire more relevant even now. This America is in 2013, with a Jesus freak Virginian as president bent on exiling all “sinners,” with the White House in Lynchburg, home of the wrongly named Liberty University. Ken Cuccinelli could be this prez, if he’s ever given the chance. Don’t fret, righties. Lefties get the pole with a Che Guevara knock-off. Both sides, screwed raw in the back. Nice. The action is knowingly laughable, with Pam Grier as a *man* who can fly. Sort of. B-

Lockout (2012)

Guy Pearce is the best thing in the ridiculously over-the-top “Lockout,” a “Die Hard” by way of “Escape from New York” salute that also heavily quotes “Star Wars” and low-grade genre fare a la “Fortress” and its sequels. Eye brows permanently arched and every line delivered with a wry tone, Pearce sells himself as an action star blatantly admitting, “I’m doing this for the money,” before we can argue, “He’s doing this for the money.” The plot: Superman CIA agent Snow (Pearce) is railroaded for dirty deeds and sentenced to a low-orbit prison space station where inmates are kept in comas. But, ye gods! On that very structure, the inmates have taken over and hold hostage none other than the daughter of the President of the United States. Only one man can save her: Snake Plissken! No. I kid. Snow. Also hostage: The one man who can prove our hero innocent. It’s that kind of film. With cheesy special effects, psycho villains so outrageously evil they hinder their own plans, and a free-fall climax that literally and figuratively crashes to Earth, laughs far outweigh chills. Thankfully, Pearce is ring master leading this big top circus. C+