Last Vegas (2013)

The pitch for “Last Vegas” must have sounded thusly, “It’s the ‘Hangover,’ but with old people!” But PG-13, of course. Impossible to hate, difficult to love, “Last” stars Michael Douglas, Morgan Freeman, Kevin Kline, and Robert De Niro as life-long pals raised in a sunny, racially-harmonic 1950s Brooklyn straight out of Quebec that reunite decades later after the hot-shot playboy millionaire –- that’s Douglas -– finally decides to marry. The bride is 31 years old. Naturally, the pals fret. So Vegas, lots of booze and gambling, lots of fighting with automatic car doors and cell phones, and lots of wide-eyed stares at the shiny world. Then the quartet throw a raucous bachelor party that attracts the MTV crowd with one big ick moment: A college-aged girl tosses her naked body at Kline’s married horn dog, just hours after she tells him he looks exactly like her granddad. He demurs, but for oral sex, and comes out the hero. The incest remark goes unnoticed. The only reason to watch “Last” -- much like “Stand Up Guys” -– is to see great actors slightly tweak characters they played long ago in far better movies. It’s barely enough. B-

21 (2008)

“21” -– based on a true-story -– is a casino heist film of a different color, relying on card-counting for its anti-heroes to steal from the rich. Speaking of color, the characters onscreen are of a different color too, as the real suspects were Asian-Americans. On film, it’s WASPed up the nil. (Producers say they tried really hard to find college-age Asian actors.) But I digress. The story: MIT math geek Ben (Jim Sturgess) digs the class held by a snarky professor (Kevin Spacey) and is soon asked to join the man’s off-hours Blackjack Club. But it’s a con, and the prof has his students pulling down Vegas casinos in front of all seeing eyes, two of which belong to Laurence Fishburne. Will Ben, a good lower-middle-class boy with an hourly job and a wish to attend Harvard Med, wake up from his Gordon Gekko dive and do good? Put aside the race issue, we’re watching an Eagle Scout build a fire with flashy editing, loud music, and the lure of sex stewing faux suspense to make us forget the guy’s a freakin’ Eagle Scout. The ending is so upbeat happy, Ben could be Roy Hobbs. C+

Corvette Summer (1978)

Luke Skywalker’s Corvette gets stolen!?! Wait ’til his dad finds out! Cheesy joke? Yeah. But much of the car-and-a-girl adventure flick “Corvette Summer” is cheesy and often ridiculous, most of the latter unintentional. Hamill -– 27 and post disfiguring crash -– improbably plays an auto-shop geek teen who has never sipped booze or kissed a girl. (That Hamill constantly looks rocked is remarkably not remarked upon.) The story: Hamill’s Kenny’s shop car beauty –- bright red, right-seat drive, killer flares -– gets stolen and ferreted to Las Vegas, and our boy hitchhikes his way to get the car and rip the bad guys. Along the way he meets a naïve girl (Annie Potts) yearning to go pro ho, gets mugged, goes homeless, bounces jobs, gets laid, and -– yes! –- finds his car. In perfect Skywalker fashion, Hamill whimpers, moans, and hyperventilates through every act. I wished Ben Kenobi to swoop in, scream “Shut the fuck up!,” and cut Kenny down. Didn’t happen. “Corvette” must be a prank on the hot rod genre: Guys, cars are just shiny metal, chase after the girl! This cannot be serious. Hamill himself is the best gag, intentional or not. B

The Hangover (2009)

“The Hangover” is the funniest, most insane and out-there Hollywood comedy I’ve seen in years. The plot: Four L.A. guys (headed by Bradley Cooper of “Alias”) arrive in Vegas for a honeymoon bash. Only three of the men awake the next morning with a chicken, a hungry tiger and a screaming infant scattered about their $4,000 per night suite, with a stolen police cruiser waiting outside and a missing groom God only knows where. I’ve just scratched the surface, not even mentioning the naked, gay Chinese gangster. In a genius move in line with the heist in “Reservoir Dogs,” director/co-writer Todd Phillips doesn’t even try to explain how all these pieces came together or fell apart. The jokes – crude and rude, and consisting mostly of “I can’t believe I did that” jaw-droppers – come fast and must require multiple viewings to fully intake. The kicker: “Hangover” is weirdly sweet riff on the lengths friends will drive to protect their own, whilst avoiding the rage of a bride. Zack Galifianakis is the stand out as an oddball with a “Rain Man” fetish. A