Some sons of god can’t catch a break. Despite
his name and rep, Hercules – son of Zeus – is weak on film. Twice in a row.
Early in 2014 we got SyFy-worthy “Legend of Hercules,” a bargain-bin film that
underwhelmed even the lowest expectation. Now I finally caught “Hercules” –
starring Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and boasting Brett Ratner (“X-Men 3”) at the
helm with a $100+ million budget – and it also is a resoundingly limp flick. Ugly
CGI, flat characters, a pedestrian plot that makes H into a human mercenary
with a heart of gold (boring!) but the brains of a dumb puppy, I sat stupefied
that adults made this film. A hammy John Hurt –- the only reason to watch -- gets
to scream, “Release the wolves!” Ratner and his crap writers want us to think
Kraken, “Clash of the Titans,” I thought Hounds, “The Simpsons.” D
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