What’s a studio to do
when a major franchise such as “Men in Black” dries up over tired scripts and fuck-off-looking tired actors (bye, Tommy Lee Jones)? It finds a place holder. A substitute
teacher to keep the kids happy. “RIPD” fits the task. Ryan Reynolds plays a
smart-aleck city cop swept up in a secret worldwide police force that pops supernatural
criminals on sight, guns blazing, and his new partner is a crusty geezer with a
piss attitude. Whoa, man. We’re not talking aliens, though. No, sir. That would
copying. Here’s it’s the undead, ghosts. Not aliens. That would be copying.
And, yes, there’s a big-city battle that means the end of the world. God help
me. “RIPD” means Rest in Peace Department. Get it? Reynolds smirks at action
and lays on puppy dog eyes at drama, just as he did in “Green Lantern.” He is endlessly
fucking boring. As the cranky partner, Jeff Bridges -– great actor -- replays his
role from “True Grit,” thinking paycheck. “Men in Black” had crazy wit and an ending
that had me gasping with laughter. “RIPD”? I was looking at the clock. And the
damn thing was as DOA as this grinding imposter. D+
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