Green Lantern (2011)

It’s not easy being green. Not for superheroes. Marvel unleashed two ehh “Hulk” movies during the past decade. This past January’s “Green Hornet” big screen adaptation? Ten minutes in, I was done. Now comes DC’s “Green Lantern,” the galactic human cop with a magic ring. It has heroics, action, distressed damsel, kooky villain and the glowing alien costume. Top notch CGI for the most part. But the movie evaporates, the smirk plastered on its face fading to a yawn.

Ryan Reynolds is the smirking face, Hal Jordan, the reckless careless daredevil fighter jet pilot who is the first human to be “chosen” to join the Green Lantern Corp, a Homeland Security for the universe, made up aliens big and tiny in skintight outfits. Everyone ia straight, I gather. The magic ring allows the Lanterns to make real anything in their mind – giant fist, airplane, sword … you get the idea. Why Hal? Because he is special inside. Aww. And he has daddy issues. Or that’s what I gather. Hey, ring, why not Chuck Norris?

The Green Lantern’s enemies are two: One a gigantic massive cloudy Smoke-Monster-from-“Lost” floaty thing with the head of a shrunken E.T. that devours planets. (A cousin to Marvel’s Galactus?) The second is Hector Hammond (Peter Sarsgaard), a geeky college professor-scientist infected by Smoke Monster, and turns “evil.” I use quote marks, because Hammond is more a tortured sad sack Son of Elephant Man lashing out under an opium-high fit. His problem? I gather he has never kissed a girl. He also has daddy issues. Sarsgaard starts off in nerd makeup, and soon disappears behind latex as Hammond gets crazier and uglier.

Neither of these antagonists holds enough ballast to carry the film, and sure as heck Reynolds never provides the steely nerve of a true hero ala Christopher Reeve. Or even the guy who played Spider-Man. There’s no drama or force of pulsating danger, or anything close to the (temporary) death of Lois Lane in “Superman” that smoked my brain as a child. The climax is rushed and sloppily edited. It’s as if director Martin Campbell (who made “Casino Royale”) didn’t believe in the material. Or was it the studio that doubted?

Supporting players Mark Strong as Green Lantern Corp leader Sinestro, along with Geoffrey Love as an alien man-fish, and Michael Duncan Clarke as a bulging trainer, are just terrific. As his name indicates, Sinestro has a nasty future in Green Lantern’s life. He is the anchor, the gravitas this film series needs. I loved his every scene. Hammond? Needed counseling. The script could have used some doctoring, too. C+