The Green Hornet (2011)

“The Green Hornet” neither flies or stings. This new riff on the masked vigilante and his karate-kicking sidekick has all the buzz of an anvil. Our hero is Britt Reid, a rich brat who must grow up after his newspaper magnate father dies. (Reid is played by Seth Rogen, the blubbery comic god of stoned frat boys and their little brothers.) The first stab at Hornet heroics begins as a prank but ends in a real effort to save a life. Soon Reid and Kato (Jay Chou) are driving a bad-ass car and battling a hyper-sensitive mobster (Christoph Waltz). What could go wrong? Everything. Rogen co-wrote the movie and his contribution is to make Reid a drunken sexist a-hole, a “hero” impossible to root for, irredeemable and non-refundable. This effort at satire is a soul-killing misfire. Michel Gondry (“Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”) directs with listless energy, as if he has an open snickering contempt for his own audience. The grinding action is over-blown, while the squirm-inducing dull comedy gives only an occasional laugh, such as bad guys being flattened by heavy objects. The 3-D version must be an eyesore. D