Who would win in a
fight, Rocky or Raging Bull? Twenty-five years ago that would have been a
semi-serious whisky-laced conversation among movie fans who like their heroes
damaged but triumphant. Oh, times have changed. A joke gabfest has turned actual
movie with “Grudge Match,” featuring Sylvester Stallone and Robert De Niro having
signed on for what I can only guess are gold bricks. I knew “Match” could be
bad, a desperate fan fiction nostalgia trip to make us Gen X’ers recall how
great these actors were on screen, and how huge the dramas of Rocky Balboa (dark, with redemption)
and Jake LaMotta (far darker, none) were, once. But I wasn’t prepared for how endlessly mediocre
every single boring moment would be, right up to the final sentimental boxing
match that lasts six years as two 70-year-old actors mock-beat each other, and
I became physically angry watching it all turn shit brown. I hated every bullshit
wink-nod-wink inside joke: Stallone’s working class stiff visiting a meat
freezer, De Niro’s smirking playboy and his comedy bar entertainment. A bad film that dares shits on two classics. Fuck this. F
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
Grudge Match (2013)
Labels:
2013,
boxing,
comedy,
elderly,
Grudge Match,
Jake LaMotta,
Jon Bernthal,
nostalgic,
Raging Bull,
rematch,
Robert De Niro,
Rocky,
Sylvester Stallone,
worst
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