Remember that “better,
stronger, faster” intro from “Six Million Dollar Man,” with the TV astronaut who escapes
death with a new bod and brain to rival Superman?
Recent films “Lucy” and “RoboCop” -– the latter a remake of the classic 1987 gallows-humor action flick –- replay that tune, respectively following a woman (Scarlett Johansson) who becomes an unstoppable fighter/thinker after she ingests a fantastical drug, and an honest cop (Joel Kinnaman) who’s reborn as a cyborg after being blown to bits in Detroit.
Recent films “Lucy” and “RoboCop” -– the latter a remake of the classic 1987 gallows-humor action flick –- replay that tune, respectively following a woman (Scarlett Johansson) who becomes an unstoppable fighter/thinker after she ingests a fantastical drug, and an honest cop (Joel Kinnaman) who’s reborn as a cyborg after being blown to bits in Detroit.
Packed with loads of potential,
both fall short of better, stronger, or faster.
At least “Lucy” is
quick-paced at less than 90-minutes as our heroine goes from unwilling drug
mule to omnipotent hero within 24 hours. Luc Besson directs screaming preacher
style that if only humans were smarter, we’d kill each other less, in between long
glorious shots of ultra-cool people slaughtering each other in fab
fab fab slo-mo action. Seriously, Besson wants us to leave thinking peace
and love, but after four bloodbath massacres and untold car crashes, who is he
kidding? Morgan Freeman plays a scientist who utters, “I just hope we will
be worthy of your sacrifice,” and somehow keeps from laughing as SJ goes on a nature-filled
time bender that outs Besson as a Terrence Malick/Doctor Who mash-up
fan-fiction writer. Johansson is spectacular and long past due her
own Marvel film. B-
The new “RoboCop”
starts strong with Samuel L. Jackson as a Glenn Beck-type screaming about glorious
freedom, before we jump to a near-future terrified Iran patrolled by robots and
drones made in the U.S. of A. “Bring it here!,” SLJ’s right-wing nut demands,
as any wrong move gets a man or woman or child slaughtered onscreen. Freedom
means obeying. I thought this new RoboCop is going international, after the NSA, CIA, and Cheney’s shoot first manta, and – stop! -- we’re
back in Detroit, stuck with the same 1987 plot bucket of evil corporation, human
overcoming robotics, kingpin villains, and corrupt cops, all with a
limiting PG-13 rating. Fox News is an easy target, and the Detroit in this
dystopian America fails to match the current grim reality. Talk about tone
deaf. Imagine a war satire so sharp it makes Bush and Obama wince. That film played in my head as I tried to stay
awake here. C-
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