“Apartment 3013” is
a horror flick with one worthy scene. It comes in the middle with a sick thud,
and it is a welcome jolt. I won’t spill details. It’s the only highlight of a remake
of a Japanese horror with every genre cliché. We open as 24-year-old
Janet (Julianne Michelle) bolts home to move into her own sweet flat at $700 per month. Uh-oh. By her first night the gal is so scared -– ghosts, noises,
perv super -– she screams exposition such as “I’m so scared!” This
comes before a cop grimly tells Janet’s sister (Mischa Barton), “Apartments don’t kill people, people kill people.” Not mentioned: “The
only way to kill a bad apartment with a ghost is a good apartment with a ghost.” This film is that awful. The bad actors try. But “3013” looks ugly and
is boring. Continuity/editing errors abound. Hammer to skull: Faded star
Rebecca De Mornay plays the alcoholic mom, a washed-up rocker who dresses
like a demented Stevie Nicks, swinging her
martini glass around like a community theater actress trying too hard.
Tone it down, sweetie. D
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