Tooth Fairy (2010)

Bill Murray, playing a dying Bill Murray, is asked in “Zombieland” if he has any regrets. He replies, “Garfield.” I predict that if Dwayne Johnson is ever asked that question on his death bed, he may offer “Tooth Fairy.” An equally baffling, terrible film. More so, maybe. The moment he’ll most dread: When his jerk hockey player character, wearing fairy wings and a blue satin outfit as the Tooth Fairy, shrinks and then flushes himself down a locker room toilet to avoid his teammates. I knew this one-joke comedy might be awful, but I never guessed the Rock-as-Fairy plot would be more "believable" than the romance subplot involving Ashley Judd as a single mom. Johnson’s stick man cruelly belittles her older son and steals money from her 6-year-old daughter, and Judd’s mom keeps taking him back. Even when he shows up at night to take the boy out, wearing … fairy wings and a blue satin outfit. Really, mom? The film credits the screenplay to six people, all of whom must have lost their brains along with their baby teeth. D