The Skeleton Twins (2014)

“The Skeleton Twins” has Sundance Winner embedded in its DNA: Dissatisfied white people moan, weep, break, and then manage to pull themselves together whilst living in a stunning home set among more stunning locales, here rural New York. It bleeds White People Problems. Yet it works. Hat tip to the leads. Former “SNL” cast mates Kristen Wiig and Bill Hader play estranged twins reunited through attempted suicide. In LA, Hader’s heartbroken gay Milo slits his wrists. He is found before dying, and the hospital call to sister Maggie (Wiig) stops her from gobbling pills. Sister brings brother home, where they attempt to patch their shattered relationship, and here’s where “Skeleton” soars: Hader and Wiig vibe shockingly true sibling love, inside jokes, bitterness, and parent-inflicted pain. It echoes in every smirk, lip-synch romp, and cruel taunt. I was awed how good these actors bounce off each other. And I know twins, my brothers are identical. Sadly estranged. That vibe is impossible to duplicate. Wiig and Hader got me. Whatever screenplay director/co-writer Craig Johnson started with, and it’s smart despite the whole WPP slant that can be tiring, it fires crisply by its words being spoken by these actors. B+

Jack and Jill (2011)

“This must never be seen.” Al Pacino says this at the end of “Jack and Jill,” a degrading Adam Sandler flick that has the “SNL” vet playing twins, one Jack, one Jill, with Pacino (!) lusting for the latter. Sandler does drag as Jill and also as Jack in drag as Jill. That’s the plot. So, yes, Pacino continues his late-career burnout by playing himself in a way that can only be called turkey bacon. It’s beyond ham. He raps an onscreen Dunkin’ Dounts commercial, and it’s awful sad. At least Katie Holmes looks embarrassed as Jack’s autotron wife. Not Al. Sandler has been making brain-fuck films for years, to bore us and get rich quickly, and his self-satisfied smirk shows how much he cares. He spends 80 minutes mocking Jill as an overweight, sweaty, techno-clueless, socially inept wreck of shrill Jewish stereotypes, before going life-lesson soft, asking us to fall in love with her (him) as a person. I don’t know which is worse, that Sandler thinks he’s creating message movies, his constant product hawking, or that he thinks diarrhea is still funny. D

Funny People (2009) and Grown-Ups (2010)

One weekend, two Adam Sandler movies. I was bored. Foolish. I want my five hours back.

First I watched “Funny People” on DVD. In writer/director Judd Apatow’s comedy/drama, Sandler plays George Simmons, a comedian amazingly similar to the former Operaman, who learns that he is dying of a rare blood disease. Star of dumb comedy blockbusters, Simmons goes way dark, appearing at stand-up clubs, denouncing life and singing, “You won’t have me forever.” Seth Rogen co-stars as a low-level comedian who lands a job as Simmons’ assistant and joke writer. A mostly decent guy, Rogen becomes Simmons’ conscious, an overweight, curly-haired Jiminy Cricket, if you will.

Yes, Apatow and Sandler go dramatic and spell out the unfunny side of comedy, but they fear the real dark side of a dying man. Simmons obviously uses comedy as a cover, but he never lets that cover down. He never truly rages or weeps. Vomit scenes are handled with kid’s gloves. At the halfway mark, fortunes are reversed and as Simmons recovers, the film goes to hell, and then drags on for an hour more.

“Funny” is an uneven mess, with far too many extraneous characters and stories. (Jonah Hill, please go away. Please.) The movie obviously was inspired by Warren Zevon’s stellar 2003 album “The Wind,” made as the genius musician was dying. The record is directly referenced in one of the movie’s strongest and funniest scenes as Rogen’s well-meaning fool makes a playlist to encourage Simmons. It includes the tear-jerker “Keep Me in Your Heart.” Simmons gets furious. More of that humor, please, less dick jokes.

Apatow (“The 40-Year-Old Virgin") is a man in need of an editor. “Funny” rings in at freakin’ 2 hours and 30 minutes. Roughly 50 minutes too long. The best comedies, such as “Young Frankenstein,” know exactly when to quit. I’ve yet to see an Apatow film where I didn’t start checking my watch, thinking about laundry or staining the deck, and beg for an end. His, mine, anyone’s. C

Now here I really went wrong. I -– in a state of “must find some place to go with air-conditioning” -– saw “Grown-Ups” as a way to maybe get a laugh. Blow off a slow, hot Sunday. I should have stained the deck. In the tradition of family summer comedies such as “The Great Outdoors,” Sandler and several “SNL” alums – David Spade, Rob Schneider and Chris Rock – play childhood BFFs who reunite for a funeral and rent a favorite cabin for the July 4 weekend. Kevin James takes on the role seemingly made for Chris Farley. And that’s one reason why this weak comedy doesn’t even muster a pulse rate beyond 10 bpm. Every damn actor plays the same damn role they have done so for 15 years. It’s deadly boring.

Sandler is the successful goodhearted man’s man. Schneider is the dweeb freak. Spade is the redneck pervert. Rock … hell, I don’t know what he is doing, but he looks so dull-eyed, I wasn't sure he was awake. James plays the kind, fat klutz with a hot wife. A daring role, no? The actors have a great kinship, and they interact as if they were childhood best friends who regret not having seen each other for years. But I desperately wished for anything interesting to happen, a spark of the early-1990s “SNL.” Remember when Sandler would milk an outlandish routine to crack a fellow cast member up, on stage, live on TV? That’s gone. Everyone here is running on fumes. Nothing more. Pee jokes are the tops.

Every good laugh was killed in the trailer. OK. I laughed out loud once. The wife (Maria Bella) of James’ character breastfeeds her 4-year-old son. The other characters stare, wide-eyed. I remember once visiting a friend of a friend, years back, and she whipped out her breast when her 3-plus-year-old son came to her and said, “Meelk, mommy.” One of the oddest moments of my life. This cracked me up.

What else is there to pick apart? Salma Hayek plays Sandler’s wife, a wildly successful fashion designer who realizes her life’s work/passion is too much work and passion, and she must trash it all to keep her hubby and kids happy. The guilty mother? Really. As with the film, this sexist – and mean – cliché was tired in 1995. Welcome to 2010, guys. I mean, take a look at Sarah Palin. Love or hate her, and I detest her Bible-thumping conservatism, but she’s more of a woman than anyone involved here has ever met. D+

Baby Mama (2008)

Riding on the charisma of its leads, "Baby Mama" is a good comedy. It follows a single woman (Tina Fey) who can't bear childre and instead relies on a surrogate (Amy Poehler) for a baby. The rub comes from Fey being a neat freak career-minded Philadelphia businesswoman, while Poehler plays a South Philly ditz. Maybe I'm biased to like this film with its references to cheesesteaks, birch beer and Tastykakes, which made up a lot of my Philly-bred youth, and if so I can't help it.

Fey and Poehler work wonders together, carrying over charisma from "SNL." Steve Martin, Greg Kinnear and Siqorney Weaver round out the cast, who more so than the writing, make this film shine. It's not one to watch repeatedly. But for a quick laugh, it's solid. The way-happy ending is forced, but it goes with the territory. One final note: It could have been a grade A had the actors switched roles. B