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All the trapped in,
under, above, at fill-in-the-blank monster horror films we all love (“Alien”!) started
with Howard Hawks’ “The Thing From Another World,” or, really, just titled, “The Thing.” Heavy on the brain-hammer “THEY
AREN’T LIKE US!” Commie scares, “Thing” focuses on a group of military hot-heads
and science nerds trapped at the North Pole, stalked by a tallish alien
humanoid (James Arness) whose flying saucer has crashed nearby. This must have
been a blast to watch when it first hit theaters as director Christian Nyby
(with Hawks) was smart enough to temper the Red Scare tactics with tongue in
cheek humor, cracks at military logic, and a mixture of genuine scares and not
a little romance. It makes the patriotism go down smooth, even if
the set-up takes for damn ever and the butt of all jokes is the journo (Douglas
Spencer) trying to get the story of the millennia out. OK, I liked that last
part, especially his line, “Keep watching the skies,” years before the Red Scare hit: Sputnik. A-
Talk
about a lump of coal: For a film titled “Santa Claus” ol’ Saint
Nick is MIA for most of his own notorious movie, no less from the producers behind
the “Superman” films. Dang. Fetch Rudolph, and sorry, Virginia, this cinema
origin tale focuses on the jolly toy-giver for only 30 minutes –- covering the
North Pole, reindeer, and toys. Then it switches sleighs for a
runaway elf (Dudley Moore) who takes up with a corrupt toy company CEO (John
Lithgow). Santa? Ho-ho-hum, dude is relegated to a sad-sack grump sitting by
the fireplace wondering if he’s still relevant. That right, Santa has an
existential crisis. Talk about meta. Frances Church, help us! Add in a dull and
cheap-looking production, even recycling flying footage from 1978’s “Superman,”
and watching this is almost as disappointing as finding out you-know-what about
you-know-who. That said, we get David Huddleston –- “The Big Lebowoski” himself -– as Santa, and you can tell he cherished this role. Just don’t steal his carpet. Lithgow’s OTT Grinch is a parody of the famous “SNL” Dan Aykroyd villain Irwin Mainway, so … why not just
hire Aykroyd? A missed perfect gift. C+
