47 Ronin (2013)

Japan’s historical story of “47 Ronin” is as sacred there as George Washington crossing the Delaware is here: A samurai army who wait more than a year living in excommunication before taking revenge and the head of their enemy after their master is dishonored and forced to commit suicide. Hollywood? Not impressed. Reaction: Let’s Tolkeinize it with dragons and a witch with a snake fetish, and Keanu Reeves. Because Keanu knows kung fu. And everyone loves CGI dragons. Did I mention the magical Voldermort doppelganger? Yeah. They did it. While never dull, “47 Ronin” is a mess of pop culture hits reheated into a mess. Reeves’ heroic Kai -– mostly seen in cut/paste reaction shots -– is an American raised in Japan, having been found as a starved, wounded child by the same sensei who later will be dishonored. As Kai is central, that not only slides Japanese hero Oishi (Hiroyuki Sanada) to the role of second fiddle, but racist asshole. See, Oishi constantly derides Kai as “half breed” until he needs Kai’s fighting skills, then it’s all, “We’re pals!” So, opportunistic second fiddle racist asshole. Imagine Washington treated like that. C-

Dark City (1998) and The Matrix (1999)

Funny how some movies seem separated at birth, perfect soul mates for a perfect double bill. Especially two sci-fi films that deal with a loner hero realizing his existence within a false reality and hunted by men dressed in black. That’s the basic plots behind “Dark City,” and “The Matrix,” the latter of which was filmed on the same sets as the former and released a year apart. Some die-hard conspiracy buffs insist “Matrix” ripped off “Dark City.” No. I see them as two pieces of inspired, similar art that we’re lucky to have.

“City” is from director/writer Alex Proyas, who was following the charcoal-colored theme of his tragic actioner “Crow.” Here, a man (Rufus Sewell) wakes up in a hotel bathtub with no idea where he is or – more vital – who he is. A ribbon-sliced body of a woman lies nearby, but he saves a dying goldfish before fleeing the room. This is a wondrously strange tale exactly modeled after 1950s film noirs with the burg of the title stylized after some ’30s hyper-drugged-out German architectural nightmare. There’s a dame (Jennifer Connelly), a weary detective (William Hurt), and a group of pale men and one boy dressed in black coats with strange powers. These creeps are called “Strangers,” and exist below the city. Did I mention the disfigured mad scientist? He’s here. German indeed. Not to say this is that kind of film. Not Nazis. Further out. Crazy wonderful sinister fun, it's a must watch for artistic candy, sharp story, heavily stylized acting, and the way it gooses with one’s own memory. As the scientist, a creepy Kiefer Sutherland recalls Peter Lorre, whose countless monsters/killers belong to this world. A

“Matrix” is the box office smash that launched a sci-fi subgenre. You know the story: Thomas Anderson, cubicle drone by day and computer hacker by night, is recruited by a Zen-guru resistance leader (Laurence Fishburne) who says the world around them is a mirage, that Anderson lives inside a stream of 1s and 0s. The real world is barren, most of humanity slave power pods to AI robotic overlords. Directed and written by Andy and Larry (now Lana) Wachowski, “Matrix” is a generational hallmark film, the “Star Wars” of our then-dawning 21^st century, with an anti-authority alien tone lit green that is cliché now, but mind-shattering then. Bullet time, people. The fights as Thomas -– now Neo, a Jesus-Christ-by-way-of-William-Gibson-by-way-of-John-Woo savior -- takes on a cop/anti-virus named Smith (Hugo Weaving, hammering the Queen’s English into servitude) still rock. As Neo, Keanu Reeves finally has the perfect arena for his seemingly human blankness, playing the canvas for which all hope will be painted. He’s never been better, more exactly right. The sequels were ponderous, but this remains a thrill of cinema reimagined by two visionaries. Incredible. A+

The Day the Earth Stood Stll (2008)

"The Day the Earth Stood Still" isn't the worst of the new wave of environmental-catastrophe themed films to come out of Hollywood in 2008. That crown of thorns belongs to M. Night Shyamalan's "The Happening," with its "You Deserve This!" billboard standing tall over terrified citizens. But this remake of the 1950s classic once again proves that there as many idiots on the political left as there are on the political right. The only difference between the two is that the leftist doesn't claim his or her asinine ideas come directly from a hateful God.

The original version of "Day" centers on an alien who comes to Earth to stop war and promote humanity. This version has an alien (Keanu Reeves of "The Matrix") coming to Earth to save the planet from a polluting, wasteful humanity. Slight difference.

Reeves' Klaatu is difficult to read: Whether killing (and then resurrecting) a police officer, watching whole cities be wiped away by tiny metallic alien gnats or watching a mother and son hug and weep, Reeves has the same blank expression of a stuffed deer. It grows old fast. The weeping mother (Jennifer Connelly of "A Beautiful Mind") is a scientist who takes it upon her self to alternately help Klaatu escape the U.S. military and convince the alien to spare humankind. The son (Jaden Smith of "The Pursuit of Happyness") is an orphan, who is far more trusting of TV and the military than his new mom.

Connelly sells brilliant better than almost any other actress her age. When she talks techno-babble or has command of a massive lab, you buy it without question. The visual effects provide goose bumps, too. The dozens of glowing extra-terrestrial spheres that invade Earth suggest Monet paintings come to swirling life. But, this film isn't about a great actress and great effects. It's about Hollywood banging the viewer over the head with the mantras of "don't pollute," "conserve," "give up technology" and "live frugal" in the guise of a sci-fi adventure. You know, the same Hollywood where most film budgets equal the annual GDP of many small countries. That's like taking lessons in peace and compassion from Dick Cheney.

The emotional ending of the ho-hum script, which never surprises and drags about quite a bit, aims for hope, but spells disaster if the viewer wishes to contemplate it for more than a minute. I get some environmental films, and love them, especially the stellar "WALL-E" with its unabashed hope and optimism. But humanity, the Earth itself, and especially myself might all be happier without this kind of soapbox preaching. After all, if everyone did give up technology -- then, by God, we wouldn't have any more movies. C

Street Kings (2008)

You'd know "Street Kings" as pure James Ellroy grit even if his name weren't plastered all over the promotional material for this 2008 Keanu Reeves action/drama. But, it's no "L.A. Confidential" or "American Tabloid." Rather, it's leftovers reheated in the microwave on Quick Cook.

The gist: Out of control vice cop Tom Ludlow (Reeves) finds himself up to his nostrils in a pool of fetid corruption, murder and rage. After an ex-partner that Ludlow has eyes set on beating into a pulp is murdered before his eyes by two thugs at a grocery, our hero seeks justice.

A good deal of the dialogue is pure Ellroy, including racial barbs and hilarious put downs ("Wash your mouth out with buck shot!"). Yet, as it continues, the film becomes standard. Ellroy and fellow writers Jamie Moss and Kurt Wimmer offer up all-too-familiar retreats: vengeful cop with a good heart, women as saints, the rookie, power mad police, etc. With a strutting, hyped-up-over-the-top Forrest Whitaker as Ludow's commander, there's no doubt about the outcome.

Reeves never taps into the ballistic rage effortlessly held by Russell Crowe in "L.A. Confidential." With Jay Mohr as a fellow detective with a used car salesman's mustache plastered on his face and a neon sign on his forehead blinking, "I'm bad!" So's the film. C