Art of the Steal (2013)

“Art of the Steal.” That’s the title of a great 2010 documentary about a raw deal between an art museum in rural Pennsylvania and the City of (Big) Brotherly Love, the Philadelphia Museum of Art. It crackled with betrayal, and was all talking heads. Art geeks, even. Now, it’s the title of an “Oceans 11”-type caper with Kurt Russell playing ex-con Crunch Calhoun, out to steal a Gutenberg-printed book that could undo the story of Jesus. On Crash’s crew: His half-brother (Matt Dillon) who previously put our hero in prison for 5 years, and Jay Baruchel as a young crook who acts like Jay Baruchel and blurts out ad-libbed one-liners that scream ad-libbed one-liner. Kurt Russell is a great actor. So, I hate to say this, but “Art” is an ugly-dull bore. Director/writer Jonathan Sobol tosses in endless editing tricks to make his flick soar, but it’s dead at launch, topped by a woeful laughably predictable ending. One highlight: A brief, strange bit where we break from the regular plot to watch Russell play a man who steals the Mona Lisa 100 years ago. Russell’s eyes sparkle. He smiles. He scowls. Boom. Russell deserves a major comeback. C-

This is the End (2013)

“This is the End” is a Hollywood-insider joke from the stoner club of Seth Rogen and pals, lathered in endless jokes about pot, jerking off, L.A. life, and bromances, with two running gags that make it worth at least one watch. First: James Franco stars as himself, playing up his apparent homosexuality by obsessing over Rogen (as himself) with scary devotion. The second: Emma Watson plays an ax-wielding bad-ass Emma Watson. “Hermione stole all our shit,” said by Danny McBride, has to be the funniest line of the year. The plot: Rogen and pot pal -– if you don’t like drug jokes, just stay away -– Jay Baruchel join a party thrown by Franco at the latter’s phallic-heavy home with booze and drugs free-flowing until the shit hits the world fan: Earthquakes, fires, monsters, and angry Watson. Typical Hollywood, every disaster here is from some other movie, borrowed and cleaned-up new, with the best riffs from “Ghostbusters” and “Rosemary's Baby.” Why not, eh? The end of “The End” may play a bit sacrilegious for some, but my worst beef came from the too self-satisfied smirk on everyone’s face. That said, I laughed my ass off. B+

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice (2010)

I dreaded “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice.” The previews looked terrible: Nicolas Cage as a sorcerer? The only thing he’s been able to conjure up for the past 10 years is crap movies, save a wicked role in “Kick-Ass.” But here’s the deal, this film, from the folks who gave us the “National Treasure” films, ain’t half bad. Don’t get me started on the silly plot schematics. Look far away from the plot. See, this has a magical Disney ’70s vibe to it, mixed in with favorite ’80s kid’s fare such as “Young Sherlock Holmes.” Its goofiness is its charm. The “Apprentice” is college geek David, a meganerd with the voice of a miniature Gilbert Gottfried, who is deemed by Cage’s magic dude to be Merlin’s long-awaited successor. David is played by Jay Baruchel (“Tropic Thunder”) in a performance so hilarious one is never sure if our hero will save the world or destroy it just getting his shoes on. Cage looks like a guy you want to walk waaay around at Times Square at midnight. He wisely abdicates the film to Barachel. Yes, there are magical walking mops. This is Disney. Bonus points: The world’s end begins at Wall Street. B-