Sabotage (2014)

Watching bloodbath -– not in a good way -– “Sabotage” it makes one wince at Arnold Schwarzenegger’s post-political film career. The light seems sucked from his eyes. Here we follow personality-free ultra-A DEA thug cops who drink, drug, swear, and easily swipe $10M from a drug’s lord’s house. The loot goes missing and the team starts dying in gruesome ways only a screenwriter can imagine. Ugly. Writer/ director David Ayer (“End of Watch”) has that duty, killing one guy by nailing him to a ceiling. By the film’s exhaustive end, you’ll –- or I did -– laugh at the big shock reveal, and still have to muddle through one more shoot out. Terrence Howard, Sam Worthington, Mirelle Enos, and Josh Holloway comprise the team, all screaming “fuck” as if they’re in a contest to out cuss “Wolf of Wall Street.” They fail. Ahnuld has the role of thug leader haunted by the death of his family by drug cartel, watching a snuff film on loop in the dark. We never see his face. But so what? Botox and steroids have rendered Ahnuld inert. What’s he thinking? Is he thinking? Is he a robot? Do I care? No. D

2 Guns (2013)

“2 Guns” has Denzel Washington doing that cool swagger that he does and Mark Whalberg pelting out words like a machine gun, with Edward James Olmos and Bill Paxton as villains, one quiet and the other all show and tell. The quartet sell “Guns” well, because its plot is a mess that blows itself apart -– with a literal bang -- when our antiheroes storm a Navy base and firebomb an office building, and the act is never mentioned again. Post-9/11 that gag falls flat dead, no matter who’s selling. Washington and Wahlberg play undercover agents (DEA and Naval Intel) who are unaware of each other’s identity as they try to nab a drug lord (Olmos). When the duo pulls off a questionable bank robbery to take EJO’s $3 million fortune, they wind up taking $43 million. Why? Just because. Thusly, all hell (with Paxton as Satan) breaks loose. I like an overblown buddy flick, but “Guns” has its leads brag, “Bet you didn’t see that coming!,” on repeat before doing something I did see coming, because I saw “Lethal Weapon” and “ButchCassidy.” Two guns? Give us two new ideas. B-