Clash of the Titans (1981 and 2010)

I must have watched 1981’s “Clash of the Titans” a hundred times as a child when it debuted on HBO, back when HBO was a fascinating addition to the phenomenon known as cable. (Yeah, I’m that old.) I still watch and enjoy it, stupid robot owl, eyebrow-raising nudity and all. It has powerful gods and goddesses, a kick-ass hero in Perseus (Harry Hamlin) with a woman (Judi Bowker as Andromeda) to rescue, and other-worldly monsters made by the hands of Ray Harryhausen. I still shudder at Medusa’s glowing green eyes and that strange, ticky groove she has. Glorious bad-on-purpose fun in line with “Flash Gordon.” A-

The 2010 remake trashes all that good badness for ugh badness, providing a Perseus (Sam Worthington) who could care less about women. He wants to kill the gods. He’s as mad as hell, and not going take it anymore! Near-MIA Andromeda barely matters. Director Louis Leterrier prefers CGI that fades from your mind the moment the visual effects fade from screen, and a revenge plot best saved for “The Punisher” or any Steven Segal film. For a film about the heavens, this film is earth bound. Liam Neeson dishes authority as Zeus, but Ralph Fiennes plays Hades as Voldermort’s younger, pouty-lipped brother, the sibling you don’t want to sit next to at Christmas. To bring up another son of god. C+

Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief (2010)

A misfit boy learns that he not only has incredible powers, but that he is a vital player in a supernatural drama outside the scope of normal humanity. Harry Potter? Well, yes. But also Percy Jackson. Who? Think Boy Wizard - Sorting Hats + “Clash of the Titans.”

In “Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief,” our title character (get the pun?) is thrown from a sorry existence into the realm of gods, demigods and monsters. Chris Columbus directs this franchise kick-off as he did the first two Potter films, but to lesser effect.

“Percy” is adventurous and has ace scenes (Uma Thurman as Medusa), but it lacks the spark that makes even an adult think with childhood whimsy, “I want to do that!” The adult cast is underused, underwhelming, or in the case of Catherine Keener (as Percy’s mom) saddled with oblivious roles. FYI, we have Pierce Brosnan and Sean Bean looking for things to do.

Young actor Logan Lerman as Percy seems more boy band than action hero, but he’s fun to watch, particularly when baffled at a magical pen or, slack-jawed, discussing “The French Connection” in a prison-like casino. Logic? There is none.

When did the gods of the universe, with all their might, immigrate to the United States? I guess if you watch Fox News or vote GOP or you are 5th grade or under in America, this is natural. God and gods equal USA. For me, I am stumped. Never mind. I digress. Out. C+