Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013)

Pissing at a massive plot hole in a “reboot” of the Grimm Brothers fairy tale that takes two kiddies who kill a witch inside a candy house, and ages them into black leather, machine-gun-toting adult brother and sister bounty hunters of Medieval Times is … well, futile. But in “Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters,” we are asked to swallow a cauldron of brain sludge reeking of inanity. Mainly: Is it likely two adult siblings  cannot recognize their hometown, and for the villagers not to recognize their own two legendary celebrity offspring named Hansel and Gretel now grownup as two celebrity witch-killing adults named Hansel and Gretel? Um, no. The actors seen unsure. Jeremy Renner (bored mode) and Gemma Arterton (just rollin’ with it) are the titular characters in what may have been at one point a sick LOL incest-heavy live-action “Road Runner” gore-fest spoof, but the studio blinked. At 1 hour 20 minutes, it shows near-fatal edit flaws and can’t dodge a scene where Hansel can’t dodge a boulder that bounces when he hits it. I have no clue what writer/director Tommy Wirkoloa (“Dead Snow”) is aiming for, but this is one sticky mess. C-