The Love Guru (2008)

Early in “The Love Guru,” Mike Myers appears to shove his head up his own ass. That is the perfect metaphor for this dismal comedy about America’s love for feel-good spiritual nonsense. Myers plays Guru Pitka, a India-raised Canadian who dives into the “heal thyself” shtick to meet girls. Ben Kingsley, always ready to befoul his “Gandhi” Oscar, is the mentor who makes his pupils fight with mops soaked in piss. That’s the level of humor here: Pee, poop, boobs, penises, fat people and everything else that makes third graders and Myers laugh. Jessica Alba, looking self-conscious, is the love interest. Myers can’t even find a point. Is he making fun of flakes like Deepak Chopra, or honoring them? Pitka is too idiotic to make any dent, while Chopra is treated as a star. Val Kilmer, Kanye West and Mariska Hargitay (whose name is a punch line) stop by for dead-air cameos. The entire film is tone deaf, and woefully unfunny. “Guru,” kill thyself. F