The Book Thief (2013)

World War II drama “The Book Thief” is not for me. It is intended for teen girls familiar with fantasy and romance, not familiar with the Holocaust. “Thief” -- based on a YA novel -– wants tragic and magic as it follows every crushing blow -– death, illness, bombing -– with an immediate balm, often so fantastically out of place, it made me laugh. In disbelief. It is narrated by “Death” (why?) in a voice not different than Gandalf or Dumbledore, assured words pouring bright magic over the terror of Hitler’s Germany. The titular character is Liesel (Sophie Nelisse), ferried to rural Germany to live with childless peasants (Emily Watson and Geoffrey Rush). On the way, Liesel’s brother dies. Cry not. Rush’s new poppa is Mr. Rogers kind. Liesel steals a “criminal” book from burning, and is seen by the wife of the head Nazi. Fear not. Kind frau lets the girl steal books from her own home. The town is bombed. Scores die. Fear not. Liesel is found, adapted, loved, and saved. In two minutes. I know “Thief” must speak gently to and not horrify its young audience, and I get that, but I still cringed. Sage narrator, gorgeous cinematography. Cringe. C-

Belle (2014)

“Belle” is inspired by history, a 1770s Scottish painting of a half-black woman named Dido Elizabeth Belle on equal level with her Anglo cousin. The posing thumped historic, with the slave trade going on full hell tilt. “Belle” leans standard fictional Brit family drama cum courtroom thriller hoopla, thought it scores marks for telling that Britain and America built their empires on slavery. Fact. Story: Dido (Gugu Mbatha-Raw) is raised by distant, but wealthy relatives (Tom Wilkinson and Emily Watson) when life already was bleak for women –- zero rights. Her obstacles are fierce. Nonetheless, she finds suitors, one an anti-slavery proponent (Sam Reid). Meanwhile, Wilkinson’s high-court judge hears a case on slave cargo and insurance. His decision could topple the sick practice and bring economic ruin. (No more free labor.) Belle obsesses on the case. She swipes evidence, dressed in a hooded robe that had me thinking “Jedi.” Heroic Reid shouts so many truth and justice speeches, I thought, “He’d make a great Superman!” Miscast Tom Felton doesn’t help as a snarling bigot. Is he aware he’s no longer playing Malfoy? Amma Asante’s drama is problematic, yes. Look past that. B

Equilibrium (2002)

“Equilibrium” is sci-fi loaded with dystopian fears of left-wing fascism zinged up by woo-hoo martial arts action set pieces. But it’s a shrill, dull, laughable rip-off of “Matrix” made for folks who have vaguely heard of “THX-1138” and never actually read “Nineteen Eighty-Four” or “Fahrenheit  451.” It’s recyclable parts from the start, melted down and served up with a cast that makes eating nuked leftovers almost palpable. Pre-“Batman” Christian Bale is our Winston Smith-meets-Neo hero, a futuristic soldier for a Big Bro gov’mint that has banned emotion and arts through drugs and force, all in an effort to prevent war. Irony being “Father” kills all protesters. Poo politics though, writer/director Kurt Wimmer (“Salt”) salivates over slo-mo fights with dudes dressed in black long coats stomping, kicking, and shooting each other into oblivion, until the finale when Bale (and his double) dons a white suit that would make Mr. Roarke’s tailor swoon during an anti-climactic O’Brian kill zone. Bale stars, the lovely Emily Watson plays a dissident, while Taye Diggs co-stars as a rival. All are upstaged by a puppy. No, really. C

Punch-Drunk Love (2002)

Paul Thomas Anderson’s 90-minute bizzaro romantic fable “Punch-Drunk Love” follows a terribly lonely misfit finally meeting the love of his life. It has everything I love about PTA films, from “Boogie Nights” to “There Will be Blood” –- including the bold realization you are watching a genre film turned on its side -- but on a small and personal scale. It stars Adam Sandler in a loose and heartfelt performance laced with an inner anger that blew me away. He plays Barry, an entrepreneur with possible autism, definite OCD issues, and prone to fits of shocking rage. He cannot contain the boiling hate over his shitty life. Until he meets her, love of his life. Played by Emily Watson. It’s as if Anderson saw Sandler on one end of the cinematic field (“Waterboy”) and Watson on the other end (“Breaking the Waves”) and said, “These two belong together.” I never imagined Sandler could go toe-to-toe with Philip Seymour Hoffman (as a scuz out to ruin Barry) and win, but Anderson has performed a miracle here. That Sandler insists on making “Jack and Jill” crap when he could be making films on this level is nuts. B+

Synecdoche, New York (2008)

Charlie Kaufmann is a mad comic film genius. In the opening of his mind-blasting epic comic-drama “Synecdoche, New York,” he shows a theater director (Philip Seymour Hoffman) dragging himself out of bed, lumping over to the bathroom then down to the kitchen, and walking by his wife and toddler daughter. It’s a grim, boring morning, and he seems miserable, all self-absorbed about not feeling well and blah-blah-blah. He reads the obits first, maybe waiting to see his own name. The radio, the newspaper’s A section, a milk carton, the B-Section, they all flash-forward dates –September, October, November and December. Caden Cotard is watching his life flash by, and he doesn’t appear to notice.

This essentially is the film. When his crap luck hits bottom, he begins a massive autobiographical play, literally staging his own life, as director and spectator, controlling and watching at the same time. Then he loses control of that, trying to rewrite his own script. This is just a quick snatch of the massive story from the writer of “Being John Malkovich” and “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.” What makes the brain, heart and soul connect and work is a Kaufman obsession, and Hoffman is freakin’ brilliant. (Has he ever not been?) But as the film comes to its end, and Cotard becomes more disconnected from himself -- actors are playing actors playing the actors playing him -- the movie loses steam. But maybe that’s the point. That's how we all die, in old age, is it not?

“Synecdoche” disappears in literal smoke, burned up by Kaufman’s unending, almost self- indulgent imagination. “Being” and “Eternal” are personal favorites. This one goes for the same arena, but comes just short of the mark. The concept is just a bit too far wide. But it’s a glorious, brave, wildly imaginative concept. The cast of supporting players includes Catherine Keener, Diane Weist, Tom Noonan, Michelle Williams, Emily Watson and Samantha Morton.

I loved the little bits, even the teeth-gnashing conversations one has with a toddler – “I have blood! I don’t want blood!” “You don’t have blood, dear.” “Don’t tell her that!” There wasn’t a stranger film I saw released in 2008, but it’s these bits that nail life dead center. For better and worse. It certainly makes one wake up and appreciate now, quickly dumping the end credits to go in and see how your wife is doing down the hallway. And, maybe, that’s really the point. A-