Brad Bird’s Tomorrowland (2015) is a fascinating
throwback Disney fantasy, one that uses wide-eyed optimism and wonder as
its badge, versus the parade of gritty fantasy movies clogging cinemas. The
plot: A teen (Britt Robertson) is given a pin that can transport her when touched
and the object sets her off to find a recluse inventor (George Clooney). No more details. Yes, the Tomorrowland theme-park ride figures, as do robots, Tesla, and the Eiffel Tower. The movie has a fun kick.
But problems galore: Cooney is miscast as a guy who hasn’t left his farm in
years, but looks like a Hollywood spa’s MVP. The opening shots have him gabbing
endlessly into the camera. That grinds. More so, the plot could have used streamlining to
bounce rather than crawl. Story resets vibe like time killers, rather than misadventure
lessons. Props to Bird for doing something different, though, and putting young females in the drivers’ seat. B
Left
Behind (2014) is the second telling of the Jesus Returns book series that was everywhere during the 1990s. It’s as awful as the 1994 Kirk Cameron
vehicle. No. This is worse. Nicolas Cage (!!) plays Rayford Steele (!!),
America’s Greatest Pilot, on his way to London and a U2 concert with a Slut
Stewardess. Jesus snaps His magic fingers, and all believers and children
vanish. The Left Behind go whack. So much is wrong with this shit, it’s bewildering. What kills me: “Left Behind” seems made by wealthy bigoted white
American Christians for wealthy bigoted white American Christians. The GOP
elite. The people Jesus visited: The poor, criminal, outcasts…
none are here. They are background extras, running in panic. Not worth our attention. Or God's. The one black female? Goes gun crazy on an airplane. Bigotry and conservatism together? Shocker. The fate of that U2 concert is more important than those Christ so loved. Goddamn this movie. F
Midway through Terminator: Genisys (2015), a school
bus flips a somersault on the Golden Gate Bridge. Why? Because the CGI
special effects studio guys said they could animate it. Divorced of any suspense or
remote logic, the spectacle of James Cameron’s 1984 classic is fast becoming a
faint, lost memory. Our leads in this time-warp sequel/reboot/snore are Jai
Courtney (“A Good Day to Die Hard”) and Emelia Clarke (“Game of Thrones”) as
the same heroes from the original. They have no chemistry or intensity. They are voids. Hamilton and Biehn killed in the original. Arnold Schwarzenegger appears, and every time Clarke calls him “Pops,” my geek soul died. C-
Vacation
(2015) is another reboot/sequel that casts Rusty Griswald (Ed
Helms) as the bumbling dad in place of Clark (Chevy Chase),
trying to get cross country with wife and kids. Mayhem ensues. Chase and
Beverly D’Angelo appear. It’s not terrible, it’s not memorable, if you love penis
jokes, enjoy. The prior films are name dropped in a fourth-wall busting opener.
Seen the trailer? That’s all. B-
Seven
Days in May (1964) comes from John Frankenheimer, my favorite
director. This is another of his paranoid thrillers, but does not pack the same
punch –- the whole ending is a long lecture -– yet the story resonates. A Pentagon
lawyer (Kirk Douglas) suspects his boss (Burt Lancaster) of plotting to
overthrow the White House in a War Hawk move meant to push war with Russia to
the Kill ’Em All point. Look, I love Frankenheimer, but Douglas’
flat hero pales next to Lancaster’s evil demigod. A slight dip for John F. B+
Jesse Eisenberg and Kristen
Stewart re-team from “Adventureland” in American
Ultra (2015), a stoner Jason Bourne comedy with Eisenberg as a slug with a mind-wiped
CIA past, and Stewart as his devoted girlfriend. This is a ridiculous flick
made for potheads, but a bust –- a plot twist comes as the lamest reveal outside
of the crap in “Terminator: Genisys.” Props, though, to Eisenberg and Stewart’s unbeatable chemistry. C+
Desk
Set (1957) teams perfect co-stars/couple Spencer Tracy and Katharine
Hepburn in a workplace comedy that plays goofy tricks with a “super calculator”
as a 50-years early precursor to the Internet, daring to replace research
staffers. It’s dated, but that very fact is perfect. I laughed so damn hard. A-
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