Trespass (2011)

“Trespass” is a clichéd home-invasion thriller ransacked by such bad acting, inane dialogue and crap pacing that made me wish the invading thugs out to steal diamonds and cash would just pop the miserable husband and wife played by Nicolas Cage and Nicole Kidman. The film – dumped in theaters and put on DVD within a single month -- vibes wrong from the start as Cage, wearing a ridiculous suit and sporting a ridiculous car, pulls into a driveway of a mansion so ridiculously ugly-ass-retro, it can mean only one thing: Joel Schumacher is directing. And he is. When the four villains arrive, we get a potluck of dysfunctional hilarity: Mommy issues, sibling rivalry, a crush on the Mrs., missed meds, steroidal rage, and a meth addict with a ball gown fetish. Cage and Kidman are so lacking in chemistry, they can’t even fake a miserable marriage. It’s not shocking to see Cage starring in junk, but one wonders if all the onscreen crying by Kidman – in a weak role -- isn’t really her mourning a wayward career. D+