Gnomeo & Juliet (2011)

“Gnomeo & Juliet” is exactly what you think it is: A child’s eye version of Shakespeare’s “Romeo & Juliet,” minus the suicide, blood, lust and sex. Although there’s a helluva lot of jokes about cock – hat – sizes, and references to brave boy gnomes having huge balls. But will children get that? Likely not. They won’t care, either. Nor will they care that the movie’s concept steals from “Toy Story,” the gnomes come to life when left alone by people, and turn back into objects when they appear, and its humor stolen from the Dreamworks line of film parodies and famous voices for entertainment. There are some witty bits: Dig the moving truck, or the Taming of the Glue. The opening is a silly wink-wink nod to narrators of old. Nine writers took part. Up to 10 or more if you count Shakespeare and actorly improvisation. With that many people, you can have a soccer club. But a good film? No. C+