Troy (2004)

Imagine a film about Christ with no virgin birth, no miracles and no resurrection, nothing that requires belief. That is “Troy.” On my second viewing of this “Illiad”-inspired sword-and-sandals epic about Achilles and the Greek invasion of Troy, I realized that director Wolfgang Peterson (“Das Boot”) and his screenwriters never believed in this story. They scrap -– kill, if you will -- the Greek gods, the chess masters of this classic tale, for pompous romanticism and speechifying about evils of war, immediately before clicking into battle porn shots of half-naked men fighting and women fainting. As the now too-human Achilles, Brad Pitt is too many tics and longing glances ala “Legends of the Fall” to be a warrior, and his lofty dialogue (“It's too early in the day for killing princes”) doesn’t help. Two action scenes rock: A night attack involving flaming balls of straw, and Pitt vs. Eric Bana, all pumped up. The rest of the time, it’s hammy acting, obvious CGI and a giant wooden horse that holds no surprises inside. What a heel. C-