The Boxtrolls and Mr. Peabody & Sherman (both 2014)

What an odd time for animation. Even if we watch a film where the plot only ever hums and characters never pop, we can still marvel at the onscreen techno wonder. Everything looks amazing! “The Boxtrolls” and “Mr. Peabody & Sherman” – the former stop motion mixed with CGI, the latter all CGI – are prime examples. Hum. No pop. “Boxtrolls” comes from studio Laika, who made “Coraline,” an edgy horror tale for cool kids. But “Trolls” misfires with title characters -- tiny ogres live under a Victorian-era city and dress in discarded cardboard -- that fail to spark or overcome their human counterparts, including a status-hungry villain (Ben Kingsley) with a penchant for cabaret. Bummer. Only a fourth-wall-crashing Monty Pythonesque riff on “free will” fired my brain, during the end credits. A remake of the old cartoon shorts about a time-traveling dog and his not-so-bright human boy, “Peabody” is full of a breezy slapstick, bad puns, and warped histories of the Trojan War, Mona Lisa, and more. It relies on poop jokes and greatly underserves a female companion, but it gets in a Mel Brooks cameo as Einstein, and I love Mel Brooks. Boxtrolls: C+ Peabody: B

Iron Man 3 (2013)

SPOILERS ABOUND because I cannot do the out-of-left-field “Iron Man 3” justice without spilling its secrets like the myriad flying, not-quite-controllable bits of Iron Man armor that plague our hero Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) in this first-post-“Avengers” Marvel film. Nor can I stick to my 200-word count. (I really, really, truly tried.)

Upfront: Director/cowriter Shane Black steers this sequel to a sequel toward the “Lethal Weapon” thrillers that made him famous as a writer. Genius move. He finds every excuse to get Stark out of the tin suit and load him with MacGyver-like weapons, running alongside Don Cheadle as military man Jim Rhodes, to attack the villain’s glitzy Miami chateau and then go after a cargo pier at the finale. The ghosts of Riggs and Murtaugh hover close, as does Black’s directorial debut “Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang,” which starred Downey post-rehab/ prison/near-career-death. 

We only think mastermind terrorist named Mandarin (Ben Kingsely), one of Marvel’s most infamously racist creations, is the villain. Trusting the marketing and trailers. In truth, the dude’s a two-bit actor downed by drugs, working for a sun-tanned rich guy (Guy Pearce) who Tony once did wrong. 

The characters are metas, off-screen and on, Kingley’s loser the What if Downey?, while Pearce’s evil CEO is the What If Tony Stark? If neither had not “become” Iron Man. The stunt also takes the character down a peg, what can Marvel do? Complain their anti-Chinese boogeyman 1-D stick figure was not played accurate? 

The movie -– like the clap-trap maze of cranes at that finale -– is a Rube Goldberg machine of asides and homages, including 1980s “child sidekick” flicks, peppered with kick-ass action and a full tear-down of the franchise. Indeed this ends with Downey throwing the ball at Marvel and saying, “You’re move.” Cast iron balls he has. 

The plot is a wiry mess, and Pearce’s scientist lacks motive and focus. Never mind Rebecca Hall as another scientist with a quarter personality, and less screen time. These are moot complaints for all eyes are on Downey. He is Iron Man. Lest we, or Marvel, ever forget. B+

Hugo (2011)

Leave it to Martin Scorsese to not just set a new high bar for children’s films, but all 3D movies. “Hugo” is a – superlative! -- masterpiece, a tale of an orphan boy (Asa Butterfield) in love with machines, cinema and stories, living in a Parisian train station as a clock master. Thid 3D gem glows with a boundless joy of movies and books beloved by Scorsese, making his best film in years, and his brightest, most wide-eyed adventure in ... forever. Hugo – this will upset Fox viewers – is poor, and steals food and drink to survive. (Call Newt!) That thievery puts him at odds with a short-fused toy shop owner named Georges Melies, who you well know if you know cinema. The plot kicks into glorious gear when Georges (Ben Kingsley) confiscates a notepad from Hugo, not knowing it once belonged to the boy’s dead father (Jude Law). I will say nothing more of the plot, watch and enjoy. Everything in “Hugo” – from the scenery and special effects to the actors and words -- is for proudly childish dreamers of all ages, all the ones who ever held a film camera or took pen to paper and thought, “What world can I create today?” Amazing from start to finish. A

Prince of Perisa: The Sands of Time (2010)

One can’t even watch a silly video-game inspired CGI-infested summer flick without a dose of political commentary. “Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time” concerns a world superpower attacking a smaller Middle Eastern country because it harbors weapons of mass destruction. But there are no WMDs. The rich nation is after oil. Oops. I meant a mystical dagger that can reverse time. The Prince is a buff white guy played by Jake Gyllenhaal, the adopted son of the Persian king who is assassinated during a war celebration. Our wrongly accused prince must: 1) Prove that Ben Kingsley is not Gandhi, but a rat bastard up to no good, and 2) The feisty princess (Gemma Arterton) of the besieged nation is destined to be his baby mama. We get battles, action, romance, comedy and an awful plot that provides unintended giggles. It’d all be good dumb fun, except Gyllenhaal (“Brokeback Mountain”) is a dull hero. I mean nap time boring, and he’s no action-god Stallone. Alfred Molina as a Han Solo-meets-Jabba crook saves the day. If only he were the hero. C+

The Love Guru (2008)

Early in “The Love Guru,” Mike Myers appears to shove his head up his own ass. That is the perfect metaphor for this dismal comedy about America’s love for feel-good spiritual nonsense. Myers plays Guru Pitka, a India-raised Canadian who dives into the “heal thyself” shtick to meet girls. Ben Kingsley, always ready to befoul his “Gandhi” Oscar, is the mentor who makes his pupils fight with mops soaked in piss. That’s the level of humor here: Pee, poop, boobs, penises, fat people and everything else that makes third graders and Myers laugh. Jessica Alba, looking self-conscious, is the love interest. Myers can’t even find a point. Is he making fun of flakes like Deepak Chopra, or honoring them? Pitka is too idiotic to make any dent, while Chopra is treated as a star. Val Kilmer, Kanye West and Mariska Hargitay (whose name is a punch line) stop by for dead-air cameos. The entire film is tone deaf, and woefully unfunny. “Guru,” kill thyself. F