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James Bond returns and so does another “B” name guy in “Spectre,”
Daniel Craig’s fourth 007, starting were 2012’s bloody “Skyfall” ended,
with Sam Medes again as director. We open on Mexico City on Dia
de Muertos with Bond, silent, glaring, and donning a skull mask as he stalks a
man in a white suit. A religious parade blares on the street as Bond creeps on
rooftops. “Godfather, Part II” vibes bounce hard. Bond takes his shot. Boom. Shit
hits. Roll song. It’s down hill after. The song’s a shrieky-dude bust, and the
movie that follows has great moments –- Craig fights a silent, giant killer
(Dave Bautista) aboard a train as in “Russia With Love,” but when we get to the
big bad in this big data flick, “Spectre” turns into a goddamn joke. And Christoph
Waltz -– he of “Inglorious Basterds” fame –- is the punchline. He plays He Who
Should Have Remained Unnamed with the lamest motive I’ve seen in years. It’s not “Quantum of Solace” or some other series duds –- what’s the one
with Halle Berry? -– but this one flick trashes four. Even new-era champ “Casino
Royale.” B-
“G.I. Joe:
Retaliation” outpaces the first installment of the toy-inspired franchise about
an elite force of American soldiers dedicated to fighting uber-terrorist group Cobra,
the latter obsessed with snake puns and world domination. Mind you, “G.I. Joe:Rise of Cobra” was an awful take on the 1980s comics/cartoon, mangling
characters, adding ugly Iron Man suits, and putting (shudder) lips on the mask
of a black-clad ninja. Here, director Jon Chu (“Step-Up”) ups the action -– dig
the mountain-side battle of sword-playing ninjas -– and ditches much of the “Rise”
low marks, reworking characters to give fan boys their due. The plot kicks off
as Cobra has created an imposter U.S. Prez (Jonathan Pryce) and plans to take
the world via nuclear disarmament.
Satirical politics? No. This is child’s play. Speaking of, in action
figure trading glory, most of the “Rise” cast has fled, but we get Dwayne
Johnson as heavy-gunner Roadblock and Bruce Willis as the original Joe named Joe.
(Channing Tatum briefly returns as Joe leader Duke.) Johnson carries all,
while Willis yawns and the rest of the newcomers, including Adrianne Palicki in
a painfully sexist “hottie soldier” role, strike poses more plastic than human. B-
